Living into this new adventure.... next steps on my Native American flute journey

A while back I wrote about the beginnings of my Native American flute journey that began a while back as I felt the sound of the flute calling me and then I was able to get my first lesson this summer at the FUMSDRL / HOF retreat in MN.

Upon my return from there I looked into ordering a flute.  I looked into several different flute makers.  I considered the Odell Borg flutes, Dana Ross because he is located in North Georgia, and Jimmy Yellowhorse because I got his name as I searched for local flute makers.  I found him through his wife that I had emailed because I found her on a website.  When I learned that Jimmy Yellowhorse made flutes and was located in Chattanooga and Northeast Alabama, I felt that I was to go that route for my first flute.  I thought I could go with Dana for my 2nd flute, whenever that will be. ☺  I got in touch with Jimmy Yellowhorse on July 30 and we spoke about what I was looking for in a flute and he educated me on flute making.  I left the details to him, knowing that my first flute was in good hands.

This past weekend I was able to pick up my flute at the Holston Conference Gathering at Coker Creek Village.  My husband and I went up for the day on Saturday since we weren't able to stay the entire weekend.

Being out in the countryside and able to enjoy creation with others while learning new skills, meeting new people, etc. was especially good for me on this day as my cousin was getting married in Colorado and we were unable to make the trip out there.  I could be there in heart, mind, and spirit... and that is what I did.... I was able to see pictures after the fact once we got back into the land of cell service and signals.  What a beautiful wedding it was!  Such a gorgeous couple and family.... and my cousins, my aunt, etc..... the scenery, setting, and weather were perfect for them!

So, back to my flute....  I took a beginning flute class with Ryan Little Eagle Molina.  We had a group of about 9 beginning flute players.  I literally got my flute minutes prior to the class.  In fact, I was a few minutes late to class because of it.

I am super pleased with my flute and am blessed that I got to get to know Jimmy Yellowhorse and his wife Tammera Hicks some.

Having been reminded of the basics of the scale and breathing in Ryan's class, now that I have my flute the main thing is to practice, practice, practice.  As my fingering becomes smoother and my breathing becomes steadier, I will learn how to create songs with this beautiful instrument.

I have started to learn "Taps".  I played it last night prior to bedtime.  It is a song that is fond in my memory from Camp Skyline days.  I remember being in the cabins of Hut Row and hearing taps played nightly.  I think it was at times played in person by someone on the coronet or trumpet.  But often it was played on a record, you know, vinyl.  Taps has my attention currently not just because it's a good song to end the day, but because I've had some friends pass recently.... my former colleague at Bryan College and most recently, my friend Leila last week.

I look forward to various heart songs coming out as I learn to "pray" the flute.  There has already been a few things flow out of me related to "Creator God".

What I am most looking forward to is what scared me most when I first contemplated the possibility of playing the flute... and that is deepening my relationship with God through this adventure.

Though it did scare me at first and it was something I had to come to terms with, I am grateful now for the journey to be here at this point.  Now that I have my flute, I look forward to playing and praying it.

It has been a step (or leap) of faith for me, this flute journey.

What in your life is calling you, waiting on you to take a step (or leap) of faith into the adventurous journey?

Blessings,

Debra

me and Jimmy Yellowhorse

Mid-Week Vespers... No Condemnation

Last night's mid-week vespers at Hixson UMC was a different format than I have experienced the other two times I have gone.  Both of those times I have experienced the Marty Haugen liturgy. 

The overall atmosphere is the same.  It is a quiet space.  The overall rhythm is slower.  The music and readings are slower and more reflective.  There is time for silence built into the service.

Last night's service included 6 songs, 4 that were written by Jim Lewis who leads the services and two that were written by Stephen Iverson ("Word of Christ" and "Jesus Prayer").  The songs are short, slow, and reflective, and primarily based on Scripture.  The ones not based on Scripture are based on the relationship with God and therefore help to focus one's attention on God, Christ, and Holy Spirit.

The theme last night was "No Condemnation" from week #45 of A Guide to Prayer For All Who Seek God.  The meditation was Rueben Job's words from page 333-334.

Scripture readings last night included Romans 6:12-14 and John 8:1-11.

We spent 5 minutes in silence between the Scripture reading and the meditation reading last night.  Jim had mentioned to me that he was encouraging growth in silence and since I was the silence timer last night prior to reading the meditation, it felt right to stretch it to 5 minutes.  Growth in silence is always a good thing.

The songs were beautiful as was the atmosphere.  I enjoy going early to partake of communion in the parlor.  Last night the pastor (Rev. Reed Shell) shared a passage about the body of Christ and then had us serve the elements to one another.  I always enjoy sharing communion in that fashion.  There is something special about the body connecting in that way.

It is a blessing for me to have this opportunity for a quieter and slower paced weekly service that is near my house, in my community.  It just so happens to be United Methodist, but it could very well be another denomination offering it and it would still be a blessing.  If it were another denomination, I would be engaging in the ecumenical body and sharing with the bigger church, which I do in other ways.  As it is, I am engaging in the connectional body of the United Methodist church and sharing with a sister church down the road.  It is beautiful when the church bodies work together as connectional and share their offerings and resources with one another.

Last night was especially meaningful for me to have that space as I grieved the loss of my friend Leila Niemann who died unexpectedly Sunday night.  The shock of her death and processing it have been part of the ebb and flow of my week.  Yesterday morning the Wednesday morning Bible Study met and shared in a time of remembering and used the UMC hymnal for parts of the service of honoring a loved one who has passed.  We shared stories, laughter, tears, pictures, a poem, books, food, and memories.  Afterwards, we went outside to the labyrinth that Leila was instrumental in bringing to Burks UMC and we walked it.  Then we sang (or tried to) one of her favorite songs, "Nearer My God to Thee" as we circled up outside the labyrinth before we left.

                                                   André Rieu, "Nearer My God to Thee"

Vespers gave me an additional place to be still, to release, to allow God to minister to me.  That is what I needed last night.

At this time and stage in my life, vespers is what I need most.  Because of my study load as I finish my seminary degree, my mind cannot handle much more.  It is my heart and soul that need feeding and a place to rest.  My soul needs a place to catch up with my body.

I take and make time for my soul to catch up with my body at other times and in other spaces too... it's just that I really need much more of it these days.  And, I find that I need it not just individually, but in corporate community too.

I also have a desire to help others [especially leaders (both laity and clergy)] find/make that time and space for their souls to catch up with their bodies.  A mid-week vespers service doesn't quite work out for leaders to attend because they are busy serving in their various positions and churches.  So, I wonder.... when is a time that could work to open up such a space so that leaders could have some time set apart so that their souls could catch up with their bodies?

Well, that's more than plenty for one blog post today..... and I still have that sermon from two weeks ago to post and my 4 year anniversary blog post to write.... all in due time.  I'm still trying to figure out how to balance my Hebrew studies with all of life. ☺

Blessings on your journey,

Debra

Pictures from last night's service and bulletin:

Bindy and Jim Lewis leading in singing (pianist and violinist behind them)

bulletin cover

bulletin from last night's service

Si tuvieras fe / If you only had faith.... what mountains are you facing?

Last night we attended the Still Waters Emmaus Community Gathering in Dayton, TN.  It was our first Gathering there, but I have been to about 3 candlelights over the years and even served dinner on one walk way back when.  We went last night to be able to connect with folks I hadn't seen in a while and because I had sent in my application to be considered as clergy in their community.  Since the Dayton community borders our Chattanooga community, we have some movement between the two communities and I felt led to be part of both.  Having lived in Dayton previously and worshiped in Dayton was part of me wanting to give back to that community too.

During the worship portion of the Gathering, Pastor Eddie Suttles mentioned moving mountains.  He talked about how we can start praising God in advance for the movement of those mountains.  Two things came to mind as he shared..... one was a mountain that has been on my heart and mind for a while... so I lifted it up to God and gave praise that God was going to move it.  The second thing that came to mind was one of the songs we often sang at the Academy, Si tuvieras fe / If you only had faith.

Because I am not able to find my Academy bag at the moment, I had to research the song.  That helped me learn the author (Pablo Sosa) and the translator (Jorge Lockward) and the fact that the song by these Methodist pastors is only currently in print in the Glory to God Presbyterian Hymnal (per hymnary.org).  The song is a catchy rhythmic one, in either language.

On YouTube I found a version of the group Salvador singing it live in a worship service.  Sometimes it is called "Mountain" or "Montaña".  Here it is called "Grano de Mostaza" or "Mustard Seed".

I don't know what mountains you are facing in your life right now, but I do know that mountains are movable.  I've had my share of mountains in the past and there are some in my life now.  Yet, I know that they are passable and/or movable.  There have been times when I've asked them to be moved and there have been times when I've asked for strength for the journey to travel over them.  Each mountain experience / situation is different.  My current journal is teaching me to reach new heights on the mountains.

Listen to the song.  Check out the lyrics.  Reflect on your life situation(s) to see if you are in a time of traveling over the mountain or asking it to move.  Either way is a journey.  If nothing else, you might find yourself moving to the tune and enjoying the Caribbean beat.

LYRICS:

SPANISH:

Si tuvieras fe como grano* de mostaza  [*though some lyrics say «grano», «granito» is also used and 
                                                                   is more accurate as 'a little seed']
Eso lo dice el Señor

Tú le dirías a la montaña
Muévete, muévete
Esa montaña se moverá, se moverá, se moverá

ENGLISH:

If you only had faith just like a little grain of mustard,

This is what Jesus declares.

You would be able to tell the mountain,
Move away. Move away.
And then the mountain would move away,
Would move away, would move away. 

Version of song in English from Presbyterian Hymnal website. (Scroll down; 15th video--labeled).

Blessings on your journey,

Debra

P.S.  I have some blogging to catch up on.... a sermon I preached a couple of weeks ago, my four year anniversary of blogging that is this week, etc.  But I am also balancing my first week of Fall classes, so I hope to get to those next week. 

LINK TO A GREAT ARTICLE ON PABLO SOSA WITH MANY RESOURCES ON WORSHIP (from a time he visited Calvin College)  "Pablo Sosa on Congregational Singing"

Start a Fire.... Unspoken.... love these lyrics!

I have heard this song on the radio before.  But as I hit highway 27 north nearing my home-away-from-home destination for the week, the song came on K-LOVE radio yesterday afternoon.  For some reason, I listened more closely to the lyrics than I have in the past.  They caught my attention.

Fire and flames always catch my attention.  There is something calming and yet infusing, energizing about gazing at a fire.  There is the passion that a fire and flame represents.  There is the burning off of the dross, the impurities, etc.  The colors of red, yellow, orange, and even blue... 

My daughter drew a sharpie "tattoo" on her left bicep after the first day of class last week.  It was a flame.  It was awesome.  It spoke to me of faith and love.  And, maybe she was saying she loved and/or was "on fire" for school?!?!

Hearts on Fire, the Fellowship of United Methodists Spiritual Directors and Retreat Leaders, has used a heart with flames in its logos. 


John Wesley talks about his heart being strangely warmed.  I know there is no fire in there, but it's close. 

The disciples on the road to Emmaus speak about their hearts burning within them when they had been walking and talking with Jesus.  (Luke 24:32--"They said to each other, “Were not our hearts burning within us while he was talking to us on the road, while he was opening the scriptures to us?”)

So, how about this song "Start a Fire"?  It's by a group called Unspoken.

Here are the lyrics:

This world can be cold and bitter
Feels like we're in the dead of winter
Waiting on something better
But am I really gonna hide forever?

Over and over again
I hear Your voice in my head
Let Your light shine, let Your light shine for all to see

[Chorus:]
Start a fire in my soul
Fan the flame and make it grow
So there’s no doubt or denying
Let it burn so brightly
That everyone around can see
That it’s You, that it’s You that we need
Start a fire in me

You only need a spark to start a whole blaze
It only takes a little faith
Let it start right here in this city
So these old walls will never be the same

Over and over again
I hear Your voice in my head
They need to know
I need to go
Spirit won't You fall on my heart now

[Chorus:]
Start a fire in my soul
Fan the flame and make it grow
So there’s no doubt or denying
Let it burn so brightly
That everyone around can see
That it’s You, that it’s You that we need
Start a fire in me

[Bridge:]
You are the fire You are the flame
You are the light on the darkest day
We have the hope we bear Your name
We carry the news that You have come to save
Only You can save

[Chorus:]
Start a fire in my soul
Fan the flame and make it grow
So there’s no doubt or denying
Let it burn so brightly
That everyone around can see
That it’s You, that it’s You that we need
Start a fire in me

---------------------------------------------
What are the words that capture my attention most in this song?  It's likely obvious, but here you go: shine, light, start a fire, blaze, soul, flame, grow, burn, brightly.

It takes me back to campfires at camp, to the song "Pass It On".  You know.... "it only takes a spark to get a fire going".

In case you don't know that one..... or to jog your memory....

                                                                 (not sung, lyrics are shown)

                                                 Endless Praise, recorded June 2011

PASS IT ON (written by Kurt Kaiser)

It only takes a spark to get a fire going,
And soon all those around can warm up in its glowing;
That's how it is with God's Love,
Once you've experienced it,
Your spread the love to everyone
You want to pass it on.

What a wonderous time is spring,
When all the tress are budding
The birds begin to sing, the flowers start their blooming;
That's how it is with God's love,
Once you've experienced it.
You want to sing, it's fresh like spring,
You want to pass it on.

I wish for you my friend
This happiness that I've found;
You can depend on God
It matters not where you're bound,
I'll shout it from the mountain top - PRAISE GOD!
I want the world to know
The Lord of love has come to me
I want to pass it on.

I'll shout it from the mountain top - PRAISE GOD!
I want the world to know
The Lord of love has come to me
I want to pass it on. 
---------------------------------------------

I'll close with a quote from Brennan Manning that I read in A Guide to Prayer for All Who Seek God (278-279): "What the world longs for from the Christian religion is the witness of men and women daring enough to be different, humble enough to make mistakes, wild enough to be burned in the fire of love, real enough to make others see how unreal they are.  Jesus, son of the living God, anoint us with the fire this day.  Let your Word not shine in our hearts, but let it burn.  Let there be no division, compromise, or holding back.  Separate the mystics from the romantics, and goad us to that dare-devil leap into the abyss of your love."  -- From Reflections for Ragamuffins by Brennan Manning

That quote speaks into my life.  I'm praying that it may be so on my journey.

Blessings on your journey,

Debra

2/14/2011, one of many fire pit pictures, dd

Encouraged by community...taking the next step

Sometimes a big step doesn't seem like a big step at the moment.  It simply is the next step on the path.  In walking the journey, I've come to refer to them as the next clearly lit step, though they aren't all necessarily clearly lit. ☺

This past Monday was one of those "next steps" for me.  In one way, it was a typical follow-up meeting at the end of the summer with the District Board of Ordained Ministry.  In another way, it wasn't so typical because they didn't just want to hear where I was with things on the Candidacy journey.  This meeting was to determine my readiness to move forward toward Provisional Elder and whether or not they were going to recommend me to the Bishop and Holston Conference as ready for it. 

Though I felt like I had done everything I could do and have applied much of my learning in seminary along the way, I was a little apprehensive going into this meeting.  Nervousness isn't a bad thing.  I had that feeling the first day of every Fall semester as I stood before the classroom to teach.  I have that feeling as I stand up to preach.  It usually goes away in a bit, as I settle in and things get started.  So, yes, I was nervous somewhat this past Monday. 

But while waiting in the office for my appointment time, God was good!  I had conversations about raccoons and children, ministry and life with Melissa and Clair.  Then a pastor came in that I didn't know to pick up materials for his church.  When he mentioned the name of his church, I did recognize it.  I had just preached there recently, the Sunday before he came.  I introduced myself and let him know I had preached at his church.  Joe D. and I started talking and somehow I learned fairly quickly that he was planning to attend the TN 5 Day Academy in October, that he knew all about the Academy for Spiritual Formation, and we were speaking the same language.  Cool! 

Then I was called into the meeting.   One of the pastors had warmed up a chair for me, so he said.  I know.  It might not have been the best time for a joke, but I asked if it was wired with bombs or something underneath to go "boom" and he said no.  But that it was wired for electricity.  Great response.  Humor is always a good tension reliever for me and allows all folks to breathe and be.

I answered questions and shared where I was in seminary and where I felt God calling me to serve in the immediate future.  I shared about family situations that add some limitations to my ability to move too far from this area at this time. As I continue to seek discernment myself, I know these things:  God is the one who called me into this journey in the first place and put this on me.  And God knows the situations in my own life and family better than I do.  Therefore, God can work it out, giving wisdom and discernment to all the rest of us as we seek it.  I know that really all I can do is to take the next lit step, knowing it won't always be fully clear.

After discussion and question answering, I got kicked out of the room for a while so they could discuss their recommendations.  I hung out in the library.  That was a good time for me to continue living into the unknown, surrendering all to God, and thanking God for the journey thus far. 

Then I was invited to come back in.   I am grateful for the folks in that group.  Not only do they give of their time for listening and discernment, but they come to the table as real folks.  My interaction with them was encouraging for me. 

When I came back in the room, I noted that they had been laughing quite a bit and I wondered if they were laughing in Spanish.  (Phonetically, it wouldn't make a difference.... but it is spelled "jaja" instead of "haha".)   I don't know why that came to mind, but it did.  And it led to a brief conversation of me sharing that I had preached once in Spanish, at the Academy, and that was one of the most affirming and rewarding sermons I had preached. 

The chairman told me that the committee was recommending me onward to the Holston Conference.  They shared some dates and some other things with me.  Then, a fellow to my left that I know from the Lay Servant Committee prayed for me before we dismissed. 

Wow!  I was "nervexcited".  That has been my daughter's word for being nervous and excited about things.  That's how I felt.  I couldn't let out a "yahoo" inside, but waited until I got outside.  It wasn't a loud one, but it was there.

I am excited to continue on this adventure.  I am also nervous.   I could go into detail.  But I'm really not sure about all that lies ahead on the horizon that causes my excitement or nervousness.  I imagine time will tell.  And/or some of those further along the journey might could give some insight too.  And, then, I've had quite a bit of life and ministry experience... and maybe that's the excitement and nervousness. 

Regardless of what lies ahead in the distant future, I know what I need to do for my next steps.  There is a meeting and there are questions to answer.  Meanwhile, there are courses to finish for the summer and then fall semester starts about a week after I finish summer semester. 

As I continue this journey of ordination, moving through the process toward Provisional Elder, I am also extremely aware of and grateful for the community that has surrounded me to hold me up, to encourage me, to spur me on.  There are folks locally, internationally, throughout the United States..... many whom I only see via technology and many who read about my journey through this blog yet don't respond.... But I know you're there.  And I want to say thank you.

Thank you for the prayers.  Thank you for the words of encouragement.  Thank you for the questions about how it's going.  Some of you have been on this journey with me for the long haul.  Some of you have just joined in recently.  You play an important role in my journey.  Therefore, my journey is in part your journey.  

At the risk of posting a photo that might repel some folks, I'm going to do it.  The connectivity of community reminds me more and more of a spider web as we connect and intersect with one another, holding one another up and keeping one another buoyed and strong.  This is what community means to me.  All the various communities that touch my life.... from my local church, to Hearts on Fire, to the Emmaus community, to the Academy community, to my Dalton connections, to friends, to family, to Facebook connections, to blog readers, to Mustard Tree Ministries folks, to seminary connections, to former colleagues, to former students, to former teachers, ETC.  There is NO WAY I could list you all.... I would be typing all day and I would likely forget a name.... but I think I captured most categories.

I am thankful to each of you for journeying with me.  I am humbled and truly blessed. 

May you be encouraged by community on your journey,

Debra

Carving out time for the soul... silence and unexpected blessings

I don't know what you do on your journey for soul time, but one of the things I enjoy is being able to worship in community within a context that allows for reflection and silence.  Now, don't hear that statement wrong... I also enjoy worship filled with song, dance, movement, etc.  The thing is, I get lots of that... every Sunday during the 2nd worship time at my local church.  During the first worship service I get song, liturgy, and sometimes some silence.  Yet, what my soul craves at times is worship in community in which I can get longer periods of silence, experience other types of music and liturgy, etc.

St. Mark's Northshore has offered Taizé services in the past, as have some other churches in the Chattanooga area. 

Last year, Hixson United Methodist Church started offering Mid-Week Vespers on Wednesday nights.  About the time I learned about it, they took a summer break.  They started back last night.  Because I don't have a Wednesday night commitment at my local church (other than taxi my kid and her friends there), I decided to do the connectional thing and head over to Hixson UMC for their Vespers service last night.

I had contacted the person in charge of the leading the Vesper service in advance, Jim Lewis, to let him know of my interest and my plan to attend.  He had asked if I had access to A Guide to Prayer For All Who Seek God from the Upper Room and if I would be willing to read a short selection by Rueben Job on pages 305-306.  My answers?  Yes and yes.  ☺

Prior to going, I checked out the Hixson UMC website to learn a little more about their Vespers service and found a YouTube video of one of the types of Vesper services there that they use on Wednesday nights, a Holden Evening Prayer liturgy written by Marty Haugen.

Last night's service followed that particular liturgy, though I learned that they rotate between that liturgy, a Taizé service, and two other worship styles. 

[Holden Evening Prayer at St. Olaf College, June 1, 2013]

[Some of the Holden Evening Prayer pages found here on pages 5-16]

The Vespers service is held in the original sanctuary, providing an intimate environment for worship.  There was a station set up to light a candle for someone in prayer and candles through out.   Musicians played a piano, a guitar, and a violin.   There was singing, Scripture, reading, response, prayers, silence.  It was a time to enter the space and allow the soul to catch up with the body. 

It was prayerful, simple, worshipful, peaceful, beautiful.  It allowed space to hear, to reflect, to rest, for the soul to open.

They will be using A Guide to Prayer For All Who Seek God for the Scripture and meditations for these Vesper services.  

My soul was grateful for the service and for the opportunity to participate. 

Though I was unable to stay for the fellowship and coffee time afterwards, I did make it to the communion time prior (6:10).  The table was set with a pitcher, two chalices, and two plates.  One plate held gluten free wafers and the other held picture-perfect challah bread.  I was tempted to take a picture, but didn't.  (But, in case you don't know what it looks like, here is a picture.)

 

The pastor, Reverend Reed Shell, shared a short meditation and prepared the elements.  Then, to my surprise, he invited me, the visitor, to assist in communion.  It was an unexpected blessing for me in the moment.  To help serve communion was a blessing that could be unfolded in many ways and take quite a while.  I will simply share the top two things that come to mind.... It was a blessing because it was Hixson UMC.  I realize that may not mean much to some people.  But, for me that means quite a bit if you go back on my journey.  It was also a blessing this week after having been recommended to move forward on my journey toward Provisional Elder.

 

Thank you Reed and Jim for asking me to serve and to share in this connectional community of worship and leadership. 

 

On my way home from the Vespers service, I saw a glorious scene in the sky, another unexpected blessing.  This one from the Almighty Artist of the Universe, the glorious Creator.  Thanks for shining the light through the clouds, for making a way when there doesn't always seem to be one evident to me, and for guiding me with Your light!

 

 

May there be time for your soul, silence, and unexpected blessings on your journey,

 

Debra

 

P.S.  If you live in the Chattanooga area, I would encourage you and invite you to the Hixson UMC mid-week Vespers service. 

 

 

The Power of Saying Yes-- "Say Yes to Spiritual Gifts"

The Power of Saying Yes is the current sermon series preached by Rev. Rowland Buck at Burks UMC.  Today's sermon was "Say Yes to Spiritual Gifts". 

I don't have lots of notes, but I did want to share today's sermon with you.  Spiritual gifts are an important tool on the journey, but I really appreciated what the pastor said today about the focus.

The Scripture passage for today was 1 Corinthians 12:1-7.

My notes from today:

• When you say "yes!" to God, you help change the world.
• Discover your place of ministry in God's world.
• Spiritual gifts express the Lordship of Jesus Christ.

Three main points:

1. Your spiritual gift in not about what you do... but whose you are.  (The answer is not found in doing more, but in surrendering yourself to Christ.)
2. Your spiritual gift is not about what fits you... but you being shaped for him. (God continues to shape and mold each one of us into what we are becoming.)
3. Your spiritual gift will become most clear in the place you are surrendered.  (Be free to abandon all to God's purpose.)

The main question to ask oneself concerning spiritual gifts is this one:

                                        Not, "what is my spiritual gift, but.... am I fully His?"

You can also ask yourself these questions, which are similar:  am I fully surrendered to Christ?  How am I surrendered to Christ?  Where am I not surrendered to Christ?

Today's message is very timely for me.  You see, I'm at that place on my journey where I meet once again with the District Board on Ordained Ministry.  Tomorrow.  And tomorrow's meeting is when they determine whether or not I'm ready to move forward in the process toward becoming a Provisional Elder. 

Talk about surrendering to God!

At the retreat in MN two weeks ago, I knew inside my spirit that God was working on my soul as a leader.  And since that time I have stepped up and stepped in to that role in several ways.  Yet, there is still hesitancy and a little bit of anxiety as God continues to mold and shape me into what I am becoming.  Though surrendered, it is that unknowing at times that can become a tad daunting. 

Yet, I know that as I continue to allow God to mold me, to shape me, to work in me..... and that as I continue to be free to abandon all to God's purpose, then I will be able to live into the calling that will express the Lordship of Jesus Christ through the gifts and graces bestowed upon me.

Living in and with abandon to God is truly a freeing thing.  It is living in freedom.  It is the running through the water sprinklers at the FUMSDRL retreat.  It is flying after the service when most folks had left the sanctuary to "I'll Fly Away" and then later learning that your D.S. was there.

Today, it was feeling led to join in with the children for the children's J.A.M.worship time to sing and dance and love Jesus!  So, I did.  And it was also the feeling led to skip around the sanctuary as the worship band jammed up their last song at the end of the service.  I can't explain the freedom in my soul.  But it was there and it said skip.  I have skipped up to the altar in the first service before.  Once.  Today, I skipped down one aisle, across the front, and toward the back of another.  Then, the band went into "I'll Fly Away"... so I got to fly!  I flew down the next aisle and back up to where I was sitting. 

My spirit was soaring.  I realize that it must be odd to see an almost 50 year old skipping and flying in church.  But, I am a child of God.  Above all, I took today's message seriously... I will abandon all to God's purpose and surrender all of me. 

So, I live into being that child of God, full of play and joy.  I also live into those areas of calling that require the soul of my leadership to step up and move forward.  Whether God will use the different gifts and graces God has bestowed on me in certain arenas or whether God chooses to lay me aside and not use me in certain ways... I'm okay. 

It I about being surrendered to God, recognizing whose I am, and living fully... fully alive and abandoned... into that relationship for God's purpose.

This is the power of saying Yes!

Blessings on your journey,

Debra


To watch today's video of the service:
Yes, part 2.