Tuesday, October 15, 2024

When God Seems Far Away-- Sunday's sermon at Fairview UMC in Rossville, GA

Fairview UMC, Rossville, GA

I had the opportunity to preach this past Sunday for a friend and colleague, Rev. Susie Gilley, in the North Georgia Conference. The church she serves is Fairview UMC in Rossville, GA. Rossville is one of the places that was part of my first appointment in the Holston Gap Parish, in the Holston Conference. Rossville is dear to me, even if they were rivals with Dalton back in the day. :)

I have preached at this church several times and enjoy my time with them. They are a caring and endearing faith community. I enjoy the guitar there and their willingness to go with the flow. 

Here is my sermon (more or less). What is on paper isn't always what is said, but I did record it this time, so I will include the recording too.

“When God Seems Far Away”
Psalm 22:1-15 (CEB))
October 13, 2024
Fairview UMC
 
Good morning! It is good to be here with you again today in worship. I don’t think I’ve been here since I was here last October. You are a welcoming and kind faith community and I enjoy our worship time together.
 
As we continue in our time of worship this morning, will you pray with me?
 
“God of Light, open our hearts and minds by the power of your Holy Spirit, that, as the Scriptures are read and your word proclaimed, we may hear with joy what you say to us today. Amen.” (Prayer for Illumination, UMH, in Upperroom WorshipBook, page 35)

Today’s Scripture passage comes from Psalm 22:1-15, from the Common English Bible.
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My God! My God,
    why have you left me all alone?
    Why are you so far from saving me—
        so far from my anguished groans?
My God, I cry out during the day,
    but you don’t answer;
    even at nighttime I don’t stop.
You are the holy one, enthroned.
You are Israel’s praise.
Our ancestors trusted you—
    they trusted you and you rescued them;
    they cried out to you and they were saved;
    they trusted you and they weren’t ashamed.
But I’m just a worm, less than human;
    insulted by one person, despised by another.
All who see me make fun of me—
    they gape, shaking their heads:
    “He committed himself to the Lord,
        so let God rescue him;
        let God deliver him
        because God likes him so much.”
But you are the one who pulled me from the womb,
    placing me safely at my mother’s breasts.
10 I was thrown on you from birth;
    you’ve been my God
    since I was in my mother’s womb.
11 Please don’t be far from me,
    because trouble is near
        and there’s no one to help.
12 Many bulls surround me;
    mighty bulls from Bashan encircle me.
13 They open their mouths at me
    like a lion ripping and roaring!
14 I’m poured out like water.
    All my bones have fallen apart.
        My heart is like wax;
        it melts inside me.
15 My strength is dried up
    like a piece of broken pottery.
My tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth;
    you’ve set me down in the dirt of death.
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LEADER: GOD IS STILL SPEAKING.
 
PEOPLE: THANKS BE TO GOD.
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This Psalm might be familiar to you. If not the entire Psalm, maybe the first line. This is one of the Psalms written by David. Jesus quotes the first verse and instead of “why have you left me all alone?”, you may be more familiar with “why have you forsaken me?” We find Jesus quoting Psalm 22:1 in the Gospels: Matthew 27:46 and Mark 15:34 as he is hanging on the cross dying. Jesus is in deep despair, anguish, pain.
 
For both the Psalmist David and Jesus, God seemed far away and therefore they cried out to God.
 
Have you ever felt that God seemed far away?
 
Here are some of the different words used in the English versions of the Bible for the Hebrew word: forsaken, abandoned, deserted, left me all alone,
 
Have you felt forsaken, abandoned, deserted, left all alone?
 
It’s okay to acknowledge our dark times in our faith, those times that we haven’t felt the presence of God.
 
David was a ‘man after God’s own heart’ and Jesus was God’s own son. If they felt God’s absence and cried out, doesn’t it make sense that we might experience that same feeling of being all alone?
 
As we acknowledge that this is a part of our faith experience, how do we respond when God seems far away?
 
Another way to ask that same question might be: what do we do when God seems far away?
 
Notice that both David and Jesus, even though they feel forsaken, abandoned, deserted, left alone by God, they are still talking to God, crying out to God. Did you catch that?
 
Their feelings in the moment did not prevent them from having a conversation with God. In fact, they were open and honest about how they felt in that moment.
 
When God seems far away from us, we can be open and honest about how we feel in the moment. We can cry out to God, sharing whatever is on our hearts and minds. If there are no words to express what that might be, that’s okay too. God understands. Thomas Keating is known for his quote: God’s first language is silence. Mother Teresa spoke about prayer as listening to God and the silence.
 
If words or silence aren’t able to draw us nearer when God seems far away, what other spiritual practices might we engage?
 
I often default to finding God, Creator in nature, creation. Seeing God in creation allows me to slow down, to reflect, and to realize that though it may seem that God is far away, God is very much near and everywhere.
 
This past week I was able to spend quite a bit of time in nature, from a camp reunion to another camp for a 4 Day Academy on “Welcoming the Wilderness”. At the camp reunion, at the end of the morning watch devotion, the leader led us in prayer. As I looked down at the ground in prayer, I saw this rock, a heart-shaped rock. For me, that was a remind of God’s presence and love in creation. Fast forward to the end of the Academy retreat week and the speaker mentioned black walnuts. He showed us photos of them in different stages and how at the center of them is often a heart. I never knew that. He had a bowl of black walnuts in different stages to pick out one that caught our attention. I picked out this one. I see the heart in the center. I saw hearts all week… from leaf shaped hearts to rock shaped hearts. It was a constant reminder to me that God is near. God’s presence, God’s love is with me and within me.
 
Not only do I find God’s presence in creation, but also in community. We are meant to be God’s loving presence for one another.
 
When I am not experiencing God’s presence, I remind myself to STOP. LOOK. LISTEN. That helps me to notice, to pay attention.
 
As I am reminded that I am not alone even though I may feel it, my thoughts, much like David’s turn to gratitude and praise. Note verse 10. Note how much David trusts God. David says he was “thrown on” God since birth. Other versions say “cast upon”, “placed in your care”, “given over to you”, “thrown into your arms”, “lean into you”, “relied on you”, “dependent on you”. Notice that David trusts God even though he feels alone, abandoned.
 
God knows our pain, our sorrows, and our suffering, yet hasn’t nor will forsake us.
 
Let us give thanks for what we know to be true, even when God seems far away.
 
Will you pray with me?
 
God of creation, God of love, God of life,
we cry out to you in the midst of our pain, our sorrows, our suffering.
Where are you? You seem so far away at times.
Reveal your presence.
Open our ears that we might hear.
Open our eyes that we might see.
Open our hearts that we might love.
Remind us that you are as close to us as the breath we breathe.
Fill us with love for all you have created.
Fill us with peace in the midst of life’s chaos.
We give thanks for all the saints who have gone before us.
We give thanks for your created world around us.
We give thanks for your son, Jesus Christ.
We give thanks that you are here with us now, in the fellowship of those gathered.
To you be all honor, glory, and praise. Amen.
DD, 10/12/24
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I wrote the closing prayer (thus the "DD"). It seemed to flow as I was finishing the sermon. 

The week that I had just spent on retreat in the 4 Day Academy made it into the sermon. Go figure... it seemed to fit well.

I enjoy preaching. It is one of the things that gives me life. From the studying of the Scriptures to the sharing of the good news, it brings joy.

Here are some additional photos from the morning:








Audio link to sermon: "When God Seems Far Away"

If anything from the sermon, the Scripture, the prayer, the photos.... if anything resonates, super. 

Where or how has God, Creator seemed far away for you?

May you know God's presence and God's love along the way, 

Rev. Deb

Wednesday, October 9, 2024

Reflections on the cusp of 60

hammock time during the Academy 

In my memories from 9 years ago, I saw this post: 

"My year of jubilee ends tomorrow.  But I have decided to keep on celebrating my year of freedom.  I started it early at 49 with hang gliding, so why stop now?! 50 brought graduation, commissioning, my first appointment as pastor, clergy in the Emmaus community, first talk in the Still Waters community, and a preview tonight for the Chattanooga community. 50 included a beach trip to a great area with family, a trip to Colorado with my teenager to visit family, a board meeting in Texas, and SOULfeast. 50 had its shares of ups and downs and ebbs and flows. But I am loving this life and the journey.  Looking forward to continued adventures. Buenas noches. ..."

Wow! And here I am on the eve, the cusp of a new decade. 9 years have flown by.  Since 2015 I have spent 7 years serving as a pastor in 2 appointments and have started year 3 on family leave of absence. In 2019 I started a Wild Church, Bamboo Encounter, that is part of the Wild Church Network. I did my first 15 mile bicycle "race" with Cycle Sequatchie last October in 2023. I completed my Spiritual Direction studies at the end of 2023 and got my Certificate in January 2024. I became President of PFLAG Chattanooga in April 2023 and worked to get it up and running again.  There is so much more that has happened in a decade and even this past year.

As I look over the edge of 59 into 60, I am excited for this next decade. I have hopes and dreams for many things. 

One goal is to celebrate 60 all year long. A while back I wrote a partial list of things I would like to do or continue to do as part of that celebration:

  • Hot air balloon ride
  • Sky diving
  • Picnic 
  • Camping 
  • Hiking
  • Biking
  • Walking
  • Backpack
  • Kayaking
  • Hammock time
  • Sunrises
  • Sunsets
  • Coffee
  • Activities/classes-- cooking, hatchet throwing, glass blowing, wine tasting / pottery (make a mug)
  • Museums / art shows / concerts
  • Broncos game!
  • Visit new places
  • Visit random places
  • Monastery
  • Ghost Ranch, New Mexico 
  • Carrie Newcomer retreat in March
  • Silent retreat 
  • Race car driving :) 
  • Write 

I read somewhere than in Hindu beliefs, turning 60 means one has completed their worldly responsibilities and can now concentrate on spiritual growth and enlightenment. I don't think I can put aside all my worldly responsibilities, but I do like the idea of focusing on spiritual growth. 

In fact, that is what I am doing this week. I am attending a 4 Day Academy on the theme of "Welcoming the Wilderness " for the purpose of spiritual growth. It has been a  deep well from which to drink and it's only the 2nd day.

What will 60 and 60+ have in store? I don't know. 

I do know that there will be adventures along the way and time with friends and family.

I look forward to living into this new decade and continuing my lifelong pursuit of learning. I also hope to continue my goal of living, loving, and leading like Jesus. 

Peace on the journey!

Deb

Monday, October 7, 2024

Rocks, Trees, and Mushrooms! Exploring around Camp Sumatanga

This morning I spent some time exploring around camp. I started off with the intention to walk the Nature Trail behind Building 3. I may not have been at the correct location, because this bridge led to a path, but it was overgrown-ish and did not look well traveled.

I decided to head down toward the lake and do the lake trail.

On the way, I stopped by the Sumatanga cross, then I found some mushrooms. I marveled at the tall pine trees. 











From there I wandered toward a lodge and found a sign for the Lake Trail.

I headed down some steps and down a path. When I looked to my right I saw rocks. Big rocks. OOHH. That caught my attention and I headed up toward them. There was an area with three crosses in front of the rocks. Then the rocks had my full attention. 


There was a huge crack between two of the rocks. It reminding me of Jerry Webber's poem that I first heard during my 2 Year Academy: 

My life cracks open
Jerry Webber

My life cracks open.
I stand in it

careful not to run.






As I thought about that poem, I decided to stand in the crack between the rocks. I did. I attempted to make my way through the crack, but I couldn't. It was like "Fat Man's Squeeze" at Rock City, but MUCH MORE TIGHTER. I made my way around to the back of the rocks and entered into the crack there. I was able to stand in the middle there. There was no running. Just standing.


looking up through the top

Now, I doubt that's the type of "crack" Jerry was writing about in the poem. It was more likely that life broke open and instead of running away from it, he stood still. I get that. Life can have a way of breaking loose, cracking open. Standing still in that situation, in the chaos, in the brokenness is different. For me, standing between the two rocks in the crack today was more of stepping into a place of protection. Though I don't know the significance of all this, the poem did come to mind.

I continued to explore and play on the rocks. I found some purple wildflowers and trees growing out of the rocks. I think I even saw a beaver dam. If it wasn't a beaver dam, then someone or something else had built a tiny dam out of sticks.









I left that spot and headed to the lake, seeing the bridge in the distance. It made a pretty reflection in the water.

By this point I was running out of drinking water and starting to get hot. I decided to let go of my plan to walk around the lake trail (and to find the labyrinth) and to head back.

I spotted the playground, the Hannah Clem Playground, with the rainbow slide and swings and knew I had to make one more stop. There were water fountains inside the playground area, so I was able to fill up my water bottle. Another pine tree caught my attention, as did some mushrooms.








Walking in the grass, I heard a slight noise and saw a slight movement. I stopped. I looked down. What I saw was a tiny frog. Unlike yesterday's hike to the falls, this little creature allowed me time to take a photo. Yesterday I heard a noise and I looked.... only to see a black, slithering snake going away from me. I was disappointed that I didn't get a photo. It was my first snake of the year. So, no snake photo. It turns out that I didn't get a photo of my tiny frog friend either. I guess I walked away without double checking my camera. I really thought I got a photo of it. It was about the size of a half dollar, maybe a tad smaller. Maybe it was something I was to enjoy only in the moment. 

When I found my way to the rainbow slide, it reminded me of being at my first 5 Day Academy and playing on the slide and playground there. This rainbow slide is fun! It is fast! I got in the swings for a few minutes too. If only I had brought my bubbles with me on the exploration adventure. Next time. I definitely brought some with me.











Play and playfulness IS a spiritual practice. Now, I don't just say that because I'm a kid at heart and I like to play. I have learned that from others over the years, to my relief. It has affirmed and confirmed things within me that I knew, but wasn't fully sure about. Sometimes it takes the words and voices of others for me to know that I'm on the right path. I've written about play being a part of who I am and about play and playfulness as a spiritual practice in the past. You can search through the blog to find them. Here is one: 'Lessons from "Little Lights" on playfulness"

As I wandered along on my journey, I found myself being curious about the rocks, the trees, the mushrooms. Curiosity leads to openness and is also a spiritual practice. My time in nature wasn't what I thought it would be, but it gave me peace and calm as it connected me to the Creator.

l wandered back to the building I'm in. My adventurous wanderings felt like the dotted lines of "The Family Circus" where the kids wander all over the place and the dotted path was left behind for us to follow.. That came to mind while I was wandering, as did "Harold and the Purple Crayon". I didn't have a crayon that I was using, but I was creating an adventure as I went along. Both of those references reveal my childlikeness self.

Now that I'm back, I'm taking a break and cooling off a little.

I may go back outside on another exploration adventure after lunch. Or, I might read. Or, I might work on my creative projects I brought with me. I don't know. I may even hang up the hammock for a while. There are options.

Thanks for sharing my exploration adventure with me.

It was fun and joyful!

Rev. Deb

P.S. I didn't go back out for more exploration adventures today. I did, however, blow some bubbles from the rocking chairs on the 2nd floor. Here is a photo of the night sky tonight.


ALL PHOTOS ARE MINE. TAKEN AT CAMP SUMATANGA, OCTOBER 7TH, 2024. DD

As I reflect on this post and my time outside in nature today, here are some final take-aways:

  • Keep an open mind when exploring new things; you might find something unexpected and delightful.
  • Get another perspective of what you see-- whether from the side, the top, or the ground. 
  • Have fun. Enjoy yourself. Allow curiosity and playfulness.
  • Stop. Look. Listen. You might see one of God's smaller creations.
  • Nature and outdoor therapy are balms to the soul and mind. They bring calm, peace, and healing.
                                                                       -DD