Breathe, just breathe

Today I am working on lesson plans for tomorrow night's class on fasting for the Devotional Life in the Wesleyan Tradition and reading/studying/writing on this week's sermon.  I am also thinking ahead to next Sunday, all Saint's Day because I need to get things in earlier in the week. 

It was just last Thursday that I attended that one day retreat with SoulCare Project at St. Paul's Episcopal and heard Judy Brown's poem "Fire" for the first time.  I wrote about it last week (Sabbath Retreat--Taking Time Apart).  It has come to mind quite a bit in this past week.  What logs do I need to take off the fire in order to have breathing space?

As I live into arthritic pain and have added physical therapy back into my life schedule these days because of hip issues, I am once again reminded to listen carefully to my body, to not over-extend, etc. 

What that meant for me yesterday was that I took a log off the fire.  It was a log I enjoy--coffee with colleagues in the morning at a coffee shop.  But due to needing extra time to get the body going in the morning, I knew I needed to take that off my plate yesterday.  I needed breathing space in the day.  Though I didn't get anything accomplished, I did rest a little longer.  And rest was what my body needed.  Accomplishing things isn't always the best thing, anyway.  There will always be something on the 'to-do' list(s). 

In preparing this morning for tomorrow's class, I am reminded that fasting is a way of making space for grace.  Making space brought back to mind Judy Brown's poem again, so I re-read it and found this blog post from November 2013, Breathing Space.  I decided to put one of my many fire pit pictures with the poem to hand out tomorrow night in class.

In addition to this poem by Judy Brown, I heard a song yesterday on the radio that I've heard a couple of times, "Breathe".  It's by Jonny Diaz. (At least I think this is the version I heard yesterday.  If not, this has great lyrics and fits/resonates.)

Lyrics:

Alarm clock screaming bare feet hit the floor
It’s off to the races everybody out the door
I’m feeling like I’m falling behind, it’s a crazy life
Ninety miles an hour going fast as I can
Trying to push a little harder trying to get the upper hand
So much to do in so little time, it’s a crazy life
It’s ready, set, go it’s another wild day
When the stress is on the rise in my heart I feel you say just

Breathe, just breathe
Come and rest at my feet
And be, just be
Chaos calls but all you really need
Is to just breathe

Third cup of joe just to get me through the day
Want to make the most of time but I feel it slip away
I wonder if there’s something more to this crazy life
I’m busy, busy, busy, and it’s no surprise to see
That I only have time for me, me, me
There’s gotta be something more to this crazy life
I’m hanging on tight to another wild day
When it starts to fall apart in my heart I hear you say just

Breathe, just breathe
Come and rest at my feet
And be, just be
Chaos calls but all you really need

Is to take it in fill your lungs
The peace of God that overcomes
Just breathe
So let your weary spirit rest
Lay down what’s good and find what’s best
Just breathe

Just breathe, just breathe
Come and rest at my feet
And be, just be
Chaos calls but all you really need
Is to just breathe
Just breathe

I need to remember each day (sometimes multiply times a day) to take moments to breathe and rest.  "Be still and know that I am God."  I cannot seem to escape Psalm 46:10, but that's okay.  I don't want to.  I really want to and need to come and be and rest at the feet of the One who created me.

There was another breathing space yesterday that I wasn't expecting.  A little time outdoors in the fresh air to share about faith, God, calling, and vision. 

Making space to breathe.  What needs to come off the schedule?  What needs to go on?  The same thing that might need to come off one day may be the very thing that needs to go on another one.  How do you know?  Listen.  Listen closely to the Spirit. 

May there be plenty of breathing space in your life today.

Blessings on your journey,

Debra

Sabbath retreat-- taking time apart

What happens when you take time apart for your soul?

Your soul catches up with your body.  Your mind has time to rest, along with your body, heart, and soul.

This is another theme in my life, like grace, that has been a lifeline.  It has helped me live into who I am.  Sabbath rest is a gift of grace.  One that I don't always receive.  It's a gift I must be intentional about accepting, even scheduling, in order to have time and space to listen to the One Voice.

Yes, I make time at home for silence and solitude.  But there is something about making time for that time apart.  Whether it be a day, several days, or a week (or more).  Extended times to get away, to stop doing the routine, to listen to the One Voice and other voices that speak life.

Today is that day.

I had seen this retreat scheduled a while back and put it on my calendar. It meant rescheduling a hip doctor appointment to another day earlier in the week, but that turned out for the better anyway.

This retreat has been a super blessing today.  My soul is being refreshed.  I have been able to "be".  It is said that one needs to slow down in order to catch up.  That is what this day is for me.  I am slowing down in order to catch up.

Though I intend to have a weekly Sabbath rest on Fridays, it doesn't always happen.  Though I intend to take daily silence and solitude time, that doesn't always happen.

Today's gift of time apart has been super.

St. Paul's Episcopal is a beautiful space.  It's my first time here.  They have a wonderful prayer labyrinth that you can get to from the inside of the building.  I was able to do a prayer walk there during our morning session of silence and solitude.

As I began, I noticed a large section of bird poop on the path.

 Isn't that just like life?  We often have to walk through a path of poop (or your word of choice) to get to where we are going.  Whether the stuff was there by someone else's making or even our own stuff, stuff is often on the path.  We might can walk around it.  Or we might just have to go right through it.  But it doesn't have to stop us.  In fact, in the right circumstances (such as soil), manure makes things grow.

Jesus often took time apart to be by himself, to pray, to be with the Father.

"Being" is a crucial part of our ministry, no matter if we are lay people or clergy.  We can't run on empty.  Silence allows us to listen, to get away from all the other voices and demands.

This morning's Scripture was from Mark 4:35-39.  Mark is my favorite of the Gospel writings.  That was a good passage to contemplate today.  The next to last question from the lectio reading this morning was 'what is the name of the storm that Jesus wants to speak to you today?'  As I reflected on that and was honest with myself, I had to say "arthritic pain".

Arthritic pain has become a storm in my life.  It isn't quite a tsunami at this point, but it is a storm.  Yesterday at the foot doctor, I was relieved to learn that my stress fracture has healed.  However, I had gone because I am still having pain in the foot.  The pain is arthritic pain.  Take the pain in the foot, add to it the pain in the right and left hip, and a left hand that no longer does all it can do.... and arthritis has begun working on me physically and otherwise.

When I went through my three years of frozen shoulders and anemia, it was a battle of physical and other.  Here I am again with some challenges.  Listening to one's body in order to best deal with what is going on physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually is a spiritual discipline.

For me to articulate that arthritic pain is a storm that is brewing in my life, well, that's important.  For me to accept Jesus' invitation to come and rest with him during the storm... that is equally important.  God has this.  God has me.  It's about trust and knowing that God truly does have me.

Making time to be apart, to listen, to be.... these days and moments remind me that Jesus does have me, that I am not carrying these burdens on my own.... or, at least, that I am not meant to nor do I have to.

May my heart continue to open up wider with trust rather than effort.

May I continue to lay down my burdens and allow my soul to be rested by the One who created me and is continuing to work in and through me.

There have been some great prayers and poems shared today:  "Fire" by Judy Brown, "Prayer to Welcome the Sabbath" by (I'm not sure), and a rather lengthy but powerful prayer shared at the beginning to our afternoon quiet time.

Judy Brown's poem "Fire":

What makes a fire burn
is space between the logs,
a breathing space.
Too much of a good thing,
too many logs
packed in too tight
can douse the flames
almost as surely
as a pail of water would.

So building fires
requires attention
to the spaces in between,
as much as to the wood.

When we are able to build
open spaces
in the same way
we have learned
to pile on the logs,
then we can come to see how
it is fuel, and absence of the fuel
together, that make fire possible.

We only need to lay a log
lightly from time to time.

A fire
grows
simply because the space is there,
with openings
in which the flame
that knows just how it wants to burn

can find its way.

We went to the 12:05pm Eucharist at St. Paul and that was a blessing.

Part of my day apart today has been wandering around the building and enjoying the beauty of the art and architecture.

Another part of my day apart has been fellowship with folks, including 3 fellow colleagues in my conference.

Another part of my day has been allowing my soul to catch up with my body.

It has been good to relax, to listen, to allow God into my heart, mind, and soul.  It has been good to commune.

This evening I teach a class on the Devotional Life in the Wesleyan Tradition and am blessed to teach on Holy Communion.  I look forward to the privilege of having communion twice in one day.

Peace and blessings on your journey.  May there be some rest and time apart to listen.

Debra

P.S.  Here are some pictures from my time at St. Paul's today: