I purchased this book in advance on May 21, 2024. It arrived on June 4th. I have carried it around with me to Annual Conference and other places, but just cracked it open this morning. I am not disappointed by what I have read so far. I am eager to read more and to see how these words help transform me and my spiritual practices.
Here are the nuggets that have caught my attention thus far:
Wolpert reminds us that transformation is always happening (12). He distinguishes between "unconscious transformation" (13) and "conscious transformation" (14).
Wolpert writes, "I encourage all who engage in spiritual practice to view it as a journey of self-compassions and curiosity, rather than of guilt or shame." (15) He notes that the point of the book is "to invite you [the reader] into more profound ways of engaging a life with God." (15) He continues: "Our spiritual life isn't about finding the one right answer. It is a journey of going deeper. Whatever has led you to this book has been part of your path, and now you are entering the next stage of your journey." (15)
I find those words encouraging and exciting. I have seen the spiritual path as a journey for many years. And, the words I have quoted above give me hope as I continue to learn and grow.
Wolpert writes, "We are always growing, always changing, always facing the opportunity to wake up to discern God's call." (16)
That resonates and fits my experience. I have experienced transition after transition, continuing to learn, grow, experience new things. To recognize that new spiritual practices, new tools and resources are part of the journey and are normal is again encouraging and exciting.
Wolpert exhorts the reader: "let us stay open to the great depth that these deceptively and paradoxically simple practices can bring to our existence as we allow God to enter our collective lives and transform us." (17)
As I begin this adventurous journey of being open to what I will find in this book, I am open. I look forward to the journey of deeper and engaging a life with God.
Daniel will be at the Wild Goose Festival. If you are there, look him up. Tell him I said "hi".
If you decide to read this book, share the nuggets that resonate with you in the comments.
Let's learn and grow together on the deeper journey.
It is one of many prayers I wrote during the "C-season" when connecting with people in person wasn't possible and attempting to connect in new and different ways on social media and other ways was the go-to.
7:25 came about because the first three letters of the acronym at the church I was serving were "S.A.L.". The fourth was "T.". SAL means 'salt' in Spanish, so it worked as 7 was S, 2 was A, and 5 was L.
S.A.L.T. stands for Serve, Accept, Love, and Teach-- the heart beat of the church I served at the time.
The thought of the 7:25 prayers was that anyone was invited to post a prayer and/or for all to join in as community to pray at that time, twice a day. It was a way to connect virtually and through the cosmos.
I don't if it became a daily routine for anyone, other than myself. I do know that it took through this past first year of my family leave of absence to stop looking at the time at 7:25. It was pretty ingrained in me to pray at that time of day.
Here is the prayer that came up in my memory today. It is a prayer that is as applicable today as it was then. We aren't in the same life situation as we were then, yet these words still ring true.
"7:25 p.m. prayer-- May we all become who we are created to be. May this season allow us time to reflect, to heal, to grow, to be and do-- in ways that we could not before. May we encourage one another. May we be love and light, offering spaces of grace to one another. May we be part of the solution rather than part of the problem. Amen. Pastor Debra 8/16/20"
As I reflect on this prayer, I wonder.... did I, did we make the most of the season of liminal space and life turned upside down? Was it truly a time of reflection, of healing, of growth?
I know that for me personally, I experienced multiple transformations and changes as I adapted in my leading, teaching, and preaching. I also experienced growth and transformation in my spiritual journey.
Did we as a whole become more encouraging to and for one another in our world? Do we now offer more love, light, and spaces of grace because of what we went through and experienced? Were we more part of the solution rather than part of the problem?
Where are we now in comparison to where we were?
These are questions for reflection that we can only answer within our selves and within our communities.
If we see areas of possible needed healing, growth, love, light, and grace... it's not too late. These are still possible.
The prayer of 8/16/20 remains a prayer for today. May it be so.
I don't know what Rev. Rick Tiff would have entitled his sermon yesterday, but I am entitling my post "Called by Name" from the Isaiah passage he shared. It wasn't even one of the three lectionary readings of the day, but rather an additional connector passage.
Though I am in my hometown usually three days a week, I am rarely there on Sunday mornings. But because of our 40th reunion weekend, I was there and I decided it would be a good opportunity to visit St. Mark's Church where I grew up. I'm glad I did.
Background: I grew up at St. Mark's Episcopal Church in Dalton. I was christened/baptized by Rev. Frank Allen who later became a Bishop. George Sparks is the one I remember the most. Ed Bacon presided over my first wedding (1986), and I knew Dean Taylor briefly, but connected with him again in a CEU we both attended at Sewanee. I was confirmed there. I was active in the youth group (we've talked about attempting a reunion for us, but that hasn't happened yet). After I went off to college (Statesboro) in 1982, I would attend some when I came home. When I moved to Long Island (1986-1989), I would sometimes attend Christmas Eve services. But I haven't been able to attend lots.
Now that I am on family leave of absence and working in Dalton, when I am actually in town, I have attended local United Methodist and Episcopal churches, plus Bamboo Encounter (meets once a month). Though the family leave of absence isn't a sabbatical, it is offering me the opportunity to be fed spiritually in ways that I am finding are needed after having served 7 years, 2 appointments, and 4 churches.
It felt like being home yesterday, though not fully. The surroundings were familiar to me-- the high arches, the stained glass windows, the pews, the kneeling benches, the liturgy.
There were several times throughout the service in which I could sense tears of something, I don't know what, nearing the surface, yet they never fully came. It would have been okay if they did.
What I did experience through the sermon, some of the songs, and Holy Communion was deep peace and connection.
I took notes, albeit scribbled notes on my church bulletin. I will attempt to make sense of them for you, the reader, as I share them here. I make no promises that they will be in order. In fact, I can almost guarantee you that they will be out of order. :)
Here we go.
These are the things that stood out to me/caught my attention:
Open our heart to the generosity of others.
By doing so, it causes/helps our relationships to grow deeper.
Jesus challenges us to think "backward" / reversal.
"divine pixie dust"
sozo = well, saved, salvation
the leper got spiritual transformation (not just physical) through the relationship/connection
Note: the leper was also a Samaritan (double whammy in society [my words])-- two things cause him to have stigma in the eyes of others. [This could be a long 'cause for a pause' here. What in our own lives cause us to be outcast in the eyes of others or even ourselves? What causes us to look at others and see them with eyes of stigma? If we take some time to reflect on these things, maybe we can eventually reflect with the compassionate eyes of Jesus for ourselves and for others. DD]
God wants us to change, to transform, to do a new thing.
Do not dwell on the past.
Open our hearts to God
Isaiah 43-- do not fear... I have called you by name. You are mine.
verse 18-- I am about to do a new thing
"God calls us each by name to be transformed." Rev. Rick Tiff
God's grace, God's mercy is abundant; God calls us into relationship
Live a life of thanksgiving; receive
God calls us each by name
Friendship with God
So, those are my notes.
I'll try to fill you in on what made this sermon so meaningful to me and how it was a balm of healing to my soul.
First of all, I used to say that I never remembered hearing about grace or relationship growing up in the Episcopal Church. Now, to my former Reverends, I am NOT saying that you or my teachers didn't preach or teach it. What I am saying is that I don't remember it. It wasn't until later in life that the concept of a relationship with Jesus/God/Holy Spirit became a reality to me. And then, it was even later that I realized that all my time in the woods as a kid WAS time with God, in creation with the Creator.
As I have grown and changed (transformed) over the years, grace has been foundational. God calling me by name has also come around to become foundational. So, in many ways, yesterday's sermon touched on many of the things that make me me, as God created me to be, in relationship with God. I think maybe that could explain the being close to tears throughout. Though I cannot fully explain it, my soul has taken a beating. Yes, even with all the spiritual practices I live into daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly. It can happen. It is called life and humanity. It comes from living a life poured out for the sake of others. Truthfully, I wouldn't have it any other way. Now, I realize and recognize that there is more to learn along the way. I am learning and growing. I am continuing the spiritual practices that give me life and living into new ones. (You can read more about my spiritual practices in other posts.)
What I am attempting to express here is that yesterday there was unexpected healing in my soul that I didn't know was still needed. It went deep. It felt good. It was holy. It went full circle into my childhood. I am grateful.
I am called by name. Want to know a secret? We have ALL been called by name. We are all loved, accepted, beloved,
One of the reasons this Isaiah passage touches me so is a Christmas gift from my Aunt Carol who was also a Godmother to me. She gave me a necklace one year-- a stained glass cross with the letter "D" on the front. I used it as a Christmas ornament for YEARS. Now I use it a cross and sometimes still put it on our tree. On the back of the cross is the Isaiah verse: 'I have called you by name'. Though I don't remember when I got it-- probably the 70s, it has become more meaningful to me as I have lived into my calling.
Now, please remember-- we are all called by name.... and we ALL have callings! My first calling was that of professor-- I taught for 24 years. And, truthfully, I'm still a teacher at heart. I was a pastor to pastors LONG before I become one officially. I am in the process of becoming a spiritual director, but have been an unofficial one for a while.
God created me to walk along life's journey with people; to share the good, the bad, the ugly; to be present; to listen; to walk the aging, death, and dying journey.... these things I know. What I learn, I share. I was also created to connect with my Creator in creation, in nature.
There are things in life at times that cause doubt, etc., but I am reminded to not be afraid.
I will continue the inward and outward journey of growth and transformation as the grace and healing work in and through me.
Oh, the songs...... Hymn 633 "Word of God, come down on earth" by James Quinn was one that I didn't remember, but found the lyrics to be engaging. I looked it up on hymnary.org and found that it is also in the United Methodist Hymnal (and others} #182.
Lyrics:
1 Word of God, come down on earth, living rain from heaven descending; touch our hearts and bring to birth faith and hope and love unending. Word almighty, we revere you; Word made flesh, we long to hear you.
2 Word eternal, throned on high, Word that brought to life creation, Word that came from heaven to die, crucified for our salvation, saving Word, the world restoring, speak to us, your love outpouring.
3 Word that speaks God's tender love, one with God beyond all telling, Word that sends us from above God the Spirit, with us dwelling, Word of truth, to all truth lead us; Word of life, with one bread feed us.
There was a John Bell song that we sang a portion of during communion time: "Take, O take me as I am"
Lyrics:
Take, O take me as I am, summon out what I shall be.
Set your seal upon my heart and live in me.
I am familiar with John Bell's music and have used his songs, but this one was new to me or I had forgotten about it). It was fitting!
You can listen to it here:
I am grateful for my home church-- for all it gave me over the years and for yesterday's service.
Peace,
Rev. Deb
If you'd like to watch yesterday's service, you can find it here on their FaceBook page: October 9 worship service.
An older video of the church (it has beautiful photos):
I realize that we are in the season of Lent, but I didn't get my Advent posts posted, so I am going to get that done first. In fact, today, March 11, is the first day I've even checked my blog since October. What does that tell you? It tells you that I haven't had the time or space to think about words beyond sermons and newsletters for the faith community I serve. Well, those plus the encouraging posts I put on FB.
I will hopefully get the Advent posts up fairly quickly and then I can work on the Lent posts for this season. :)
November 29. Today's word is "hope". Today is the first day of Advent. As we begin this Advent season and this new calendar year, what does the word "hope" mean for you? How do you depict hope in a photograph or drawing? If hope seems too far off to reach in the moment, reflect on when you last experienced hope. When was that? How was that? How would you depict that in a photograph or drawing? #hope, #adventphoto, #saintelmoumc
Today is the beginning of Advent. Today's word is hope. As I reflect on today's word, hope to me is like this candle--- one sole flame offers light. May I be a light, may I be hope. #hope, #adventphoto, #saintelmoumc
November 30. Today's word is "wait". We touched on the subject in yesterday's sermon as we explored active waiting. What comes to mind as you reflect on today's word? How do you respond to "wait"? How do you depict this word in a photograph or drawing? #wait, #adventphoto, #saintelmoumc
Today's word is "wait". I went to Blood Assurance to donate today, but my blood, though high in hemoglobin, decided it wasn't going to flow well. We waited in hopeful expectation that the machine and my blood would connect and flow. It wasn't to happen today. I will wait another week. There are many things for which I have been waiting over the past nine months. I am waiting to see the flock again. I am waiting to see my family. In today's waiting, I had a wonderful conversation with a worker at Blood Assurance. It encouraged me to chat with her. In the waiting, we can engage. We can be kind. We can live and love well. Advent is a season of waiting. While I wait in any situation, may I continue to live, love, and lead like Jesus. #wait#adventphoto#saintelmoumc
December 1. Today's word is "darkness". What does darkness mean to you? How have you experienced darkness? As you reflect on this word, how do you express it in a photograph or drawing? #darkness, #adventphoto, #saintelmoumc
Today's word is "darkness". Darkness is part of the journey. There is healing and transformation through the darkness. This circle of friends reminds me that when I go through dark times, I am not alone. There is support. Even a small light in the midst of darkness can brighten the space. #darkness#adventphoto#saintelmoumc
December 2. Today's word is "preparation". What preparations are you making this Advent season? Do these preparations prepare you for the coming of the Christ child? (If so, how?) Do you have a favorite preparation that you look forward to year after year? What comes to mind for you as you reflect on today's word? How do you share that with others in a photo or drawing? #preparation#adventphoto#saintelmoumc
Today's word is "preparation". Every week, twice a week, you can find boxes lined up like this in the gym in preparation for the next food distribution day. It is encouraging and heartwarming to see how the team of volunteers has worked to get food out safely and creatively during the pandemic. As we make intentional preparations for the safety of ourselves and others, may we make intentional preparations this Advent season for the presence of Christ among us. #preparation#adventphoto#saintelmoumc
December 3. Today's word is "light". As you reflect on today's word, what comes to mind? How does light fit into your Advent celebration? Share your thoughts on light and your photography or drawing. #light#adventphoto#saintelmoumc
Today's word is "light". Last week on the way home from an outing, the moon's light was bright. As the day turned to night, its light shone through the darkness. The light was captivating, holding my attention as it guided me home. This Advent season I am encouraged by light that shines in the darkness, offering guidance and hope. I see it in many forms and in many people. I am grateful. #light#adventphoto#saintelmoumc
December 4. Today's word is "sign". The Advent season is a time to watch for signs. Is there a sign you are hoping for or waiting for? Is there a sign you see daily that catches your attention? What comes to mind for you as you reflect on today's word? Share your reflections, along with a photo or drawing. #sign#adventphoto#saintelmoumc
Today's word is "sign". I ventured outside this morning briefly and saw these shoots coming up. A sign of new life and growth. This sign reminds me that life happens underneath the surface, in the dark. One day, that it will push through. Growth is happening the entire time. There are simply different stages. It was, it is, it will be. We all need reminders, encouragement, hope. This sign of life was that for me today. #sign#adventphoto#saintelmoumc
December 5. Today's word is "ponder". What are the things on your mind these days? What causes you to ponder? As you reflect on this word, what comes to mind? Post your thoughts and any photo or drawing. #ponder#adventphoto#saintelmoumc
Today's word is ponder. In our walk today I pondered many things. As I seek to live my life for an Audience of One, I recognize that I will always be darned if I do and darned if I don't. Time in creation wandering and pondering refills me. I ponder the time singing with family members and their father just a few days ago, as that was a gift to me. These two photos show the largest grapevines I have ever seen. We looked them over for a while. I pondered whether or not the large one could hold me. It did. Pondering can lead to creativity and freedom. May these days of Advent allow time for pondering. #ponder#adventphoto#saintelmoumc
That does it for Advent, week 1 2020. Week 2 will be forthcoming.
One never knows (at least I don't) how God is going to move in and through a sermon. What I have learned over the years and definitely through this pandemic time is this: the word reads me, lives in me, makes its way out of me. These words just don't appear on paper nor do they just flow out of my mouth. The Holy Spirit definitely has a part in the weekly process. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Below you will find the transcript to the sermon, the YouTube link of the service and the SoundCloud link of the sermon.
You will also find a link to Steve Garnaas-Holmes' words from last week on the topic.
May there be growth, healing, and transformation along your path.
Rev. Deb
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“Wrestling With God”
Genesis 32:22-31 (CEB)
August 2, 2020 (9th Sunday after Pentecost)
St. Elmo UMC (FB Live)
Genesis 32:22-31 (CEB)
22 Jacob got up during the night, took his
two wives, his two women servants, and his eleven sons, and crossed the Jabbok
River’s shallow water.23 He took them and everything that belonged
to him, and he helped them cross the river.24 But
Jacob stayed apart by himself, and a man wrestled with him until dawn broke.25 When the man saw that he couldn’t defeat
Jacob, he grabbed Jacob’s thigh and tore a muscle in Jacob’s thigh as he
wrestled with him.26 The
man said, “Let me go because the dawn is breaking.” But Jacob said, “I won’t let you go until you bless me.”
27 He said to Jacob, “What’s your name?” and
he said, “Jacob.”28 Then he said, “Your name won’t be Jacob
any longer, but Israel, because you struggled with God and with men and won.”
29 Jacob also asked and said, “Tell me your
name.”
But he said, “Why do you ask for my name?” and he blessed Jacob
there.30 Jacob named the place
Peniel, “because I’ve seen God face-to-face, and my life has been saved.”31 The sun rose as Jacob passed Penuel,
limping because of his thigh.”
Some of you may have wrestled in high school
and/or college and you know exactly what that is like.
All I know about wrestling is what I
learned from my two younger brothers and leg wrestling from band camp
days.
Wrestling with God after something is
broken. OUCH!
How many of us know the pain of a broken
bone or a pulled muscle, ligament, or tendon?
How many of us have needed to walk with
the assistance of crutches, a walker, or even use a wheelchair, or a knee
roller?
Now, imagine being in a situation where
you are in pain, hurt, yet you don’t let go because you want that something
more, that blessing?
Can you imagine telling God you’re not
going to let go until you get to that point?!?!
That’s what Jacob did. Jacob was
not going to let go of God until he got what he was after, the blessing.
After Jacob asks for the blessing, God
answers Jacob with a question in verse 27: “What’s your name?”
Is
it odd that God asks Jacob his name?
Doesn’t God already know Jacob’s name?
Why would God ask Jacob his name and why at this point?
Notice Jacob’s response. He answers simply, giving his name. He doesn’t question God asking his name. He doesn’t question why a blessing wasn’t
given rather than a question.
Upon hearing Jacob’s name, God responds
thus: “Your name won’t be Jacob any longer, but Israel, because you struggled
with God and with men and won.”
The renaming of Jacob to Israel can be seen as a a blessing, as names
have significance. In this case, “The
new name ישראל “Israel” is a combination of the verb ש.ר.ה, “to strive with,”
and a designation for God, אל.[’el’] The passage uniquely describes a person
successfully battling God or his messenger.”
After Jacob receives his new name, Israel, he asks of the one with
whom he had wrestled, “Tell me your name.”
However, this was not directly answered either, but rather answered with
another question: “Why do you ask me for my name?” With that question asked, God blesses
Jacob/Israel. Jacob/Israel names the
spot “Peniel” because it means having seen God face-to-face. As he traveled on, he traveled with a limp,
because of his thigh. He wasn’t going to
quickly forget this encounter.
It had changed him, significantly.
What we didn’t start out with was the back story. Let’s go back and take a look at that. Where was Jacob going?
Jacob was on his way back to meet his brother Esau, to make amends
with him. You may remember the encounter
where Jacob fraudulently stole Esau’s birthright from him. There was some fear and trepidation, rightly
so, in Jacob going to meet his brother.
Before he gets to his brother, he has this encounter with God that
leaves him limping, humbled, broken, yet with a blessing from God. Changed, in other words. Transformed.
Jacob is now Israel and is changed in more ways than name only.
Think, for a moment, about the spiritual and emotional struggles
that plagued Jacob all those years after having deceived his brother.
Think about the experience of wrestling with God and not letting
go until he got what he wanted out of it, even though he was injured in the
process.
Jacob/Israel left that place limping. He would be serving God from there on out
with a limp. That limp would be a
reminder that he had met God face-to-face and was given a new name. Even with the limp, Jacob/Israel was going to
be able to listen to God, to follow God, and to serve God.
Have you had spiritual struggles?
Emotional struggles? Mental
struggles? Have you wrestled with
God?
How has it felt to wrestle?
Have you wanted to not let go until you get your answer(s)?
I get it. Like Jacob, there
are times when we find ourselves wrestling with God, for whatever reason. Whether we are seeking an answer for a
situation, whether it is a situation that concerns us, whether it is a loved
one in our thoughts. We can all likely
recall at least one wrestling session with God.
Whatever the situation, like Jacob, it changed us in some way.
We recognize that wrestling isn’t safe. Something can get broken. Yet, we also understand that it changes us.
Jacob's
all night wrestling match with God reminds us it isn’t always safe. We might walk away with a limp as a reminder
we are not able to fully rely on our own strength.
We
might also walk away with our true identity because we stayed in the match,
like Jacob, until the end.
Wrestling
with God produces change, a transformation.
It
isn’t the only way for change, transformation, and growth.
But
it IS one way.
If
you have experienced wrestling, know this:
it’s okay. It’s okay to wrestle
with God. It’s okay to struggle.
We
all have our struggles. With God and
with other things.
Remember
that the butterfly has to struggle to get out of the cocoon. While in there, the caterpillar has
transformed in the dark to become a butterfly.
Yet, the transformation isn’t over just yet. The wings must break through the cocoon. Then, the wings must dry before the butterfly can fly.
Throughout
this pandemic time, I have shared that I have felt like I have gone through
several transformations and have been growing and changing. There have been some wrestling sessions.
If
you are wrestling with God, you are not alone.
Reach out to someone. Talk with
someone. Share the struggles, the
changes, the transformation. And, if you
have received a blessing from your wrestling, share that too.
May
we continue to grow as disciples of Christ who share the love and light of
Christ with others.
