The Importance of Removing Harmful Language from the United Methodist Book of Discipline

Last night I attended a "Field Guide to General Conference" sponsored by RMN (Reconciling Ministries Network) on the topic of removing the language from the United Methodist Book of Discipline at the upcoming General Conference 2020, to be held in April 2024.

I could go into the history about how it wasn't there for the longest time, but I'm not. 

My focus is going to be on my reflections from last night's Zoom meeting that was led by Rev. Molly Vetter from L.A., California.

One of the things we did in this workshop was answer the three questions:

• Why is this (removing the language) important to me?
• Why is this important to us (us-- can be United Methodists, identity of United Methodists, Conference, etc.)
• Why is this important now?

Rev. Molly Vetter shared that these three questions come from Marshall Ganz  who is a social movement legend (per the website I posted) and has lots of experience in social and community change.

I realized that even though I am for removing the language from the Book of Discipline, I haven't thought about it in these terms.

For those who aren't aware what "language" I am referring to, here is a link for all the sections.

Now, for my thoughts on the three questions:

Why is removing the language that is harmful important to me?

There is language that affirms everyone as "persons sacred of worth", then goes on to say that even so, they aren't eligible to serve, become ordained, or be married by clergy, etc. Can you say "mixed message"?!?!? It is important to me that there is no mixed message. People are either sacred of worth or they aren't. And, we aren't the ones to decide. God, Creator, Great Spirit, the One who created (Psalm 139) and who names and calls us by name (Isaiah 43:1) is the One for that.

Removing harmful language is important to me because I've seen so much hurt in the LGBTQ+ community because of it. Thankfully, I did serve a RMN church where the gay community was allowed to lead music, teach classes, and preach. I loved asking my siblings in Christ to fill the pulpit for me when I was going to be away. The grace of God was palpable in and through them.

That brings me to another reason for me that it so important to remove any and all harmful language. In my humble opinion, it goes against God's grace. And for me, it's all about grace. As a follower of Christ and as a Wesleyan, grace is a foundation of lived out faith. And, maybe it's just me, but harmful language to my siblings in the Kingdom does not show grace. 

I don't want to continue the harm we've been perpetuating for years. It hurts my heart to see all the brokenness and pain it has caused to those who love God, to those I love, and to those who have decided that Christians aren't Christ-like.

Why is removing the language important for us (as United Methodists)?

My answer to this one flows from my personal answer. For me, the identity of a United Methodist has a foundation in grace. There are other foundational doctrines. Check out the #BeUMC link below for themes. Another place to go is John Wesley's statement: "Do no harm; do good; stay in love with God." This became known as the three general rules. Rueben Job wrote a small book about them: Three Simple Rules.  Another version of this book that I prefer is Three Simple Questions.  I didn't find out about this second one until several years ago. I recommend them both, but like I said, the second one stands out for me. 

As we as United Methodists attempt to "do no harm" and live out the grace of God, it simply makes sense to remove harmful language. By not removing language, we are continuing to create a barrier of exclusivity, of hurt, of harm. Isn't it time to do the difficult work of healing?

Which brings me to the third question:

Why is this important now?

If not now, then when? How long do we continue causing harm? When do we truly begin to live into the grace of God for all God's people? When do we offer a place of healing for people who are called by God to serve in the kingdom of God?

Other denominations have done the difficult work of healing, of reflection, of digging deep into the heart of God to allow God through the Holy Spirit to do an amazing work in and through lives.

Can we, as the United Methodist denomination be open to the working of the Holy Spirit and allow her to flow like a mighty wind into our system? Can we be moved into a place and space of grace that allows us all to find new and deeper meaning of what it means to be in community with all persons of sacred worth?

The meeting was closed out last night with a reading, a benediction of sorts from Sam Parkes that really touched me. I hope to be able to see it soon (I am a visual learner primarily and it helps me to see things.)

I hope for healing for all the LGBTQ+ beloved siblings who have been hurt by the church and Christians. I want to be part of the healing process, not the harming process.

I hope for them, for you (if you're reading this) that we will get it right in the United Methodist denomination. Regardless, I hope you know how beloved you are, created uniquely by the Creator. Listen to the Inner Voice of the One who created you.

May we all listen to that voice and respond as we deem appropriate, 

Rev. Deb

Additional articles and links:

The UMC's Messy Language about Sexuality -- Chris Ritter, April 2016

#BeUMC

#ResistHarm

Preparations for ministry...playing Hide and Seek

Over the past several months, possibly even years (if I'm honest enough to look back and if I have memory enough to recall), through conversations with numerous people, I continue to hear the words (said or written one way or another): 'that sounds like preparation for ministry to me'.

Some of those comments have been more direct, actual several different people, have actually gone beyond "ministry" in general to saying or implying the role of pastor. 

I wonder how many times I need to hear it in order to believe it?  The truth is, I can't see it.  Well, that's not quite the truth.  I can see it, but I can't see it.  What can I see?  I can see me teaching.  I can see me preaching.  I enjoy speaking God's Word.  I enjoy preparing a message that God has put on my heart, mind, and soul to share.  ("enjoy" is a little strong here, because sometimes there isn't enjoyment-- it's hard work, and there is a slight bit of fear and trepidation to say what I feel called to say).  Anway.....  I have a passion for seeing people learn and grow.  Period.  In life.  Whether that is learning a language, learning what their passion for life is and pursuing it, or growing in their spiritual journey.  I enjoy walking that path, even though it can be a difficult, arduous, even hellacious path at times. 

What precipated this commentary?  The other day I went to a meeting I thought was meeting, to learn we weren't meeting.  While I'm learning we're not meeting, I'm talking to the one person and not really acknowledging the others except for with a slight hello.  Then, I explain that I'm slightly out of whack, sleep deprived, working to keep a little person on task on her big Science Fair Project, etc.  Feeling a little guilty for having slighted this person, I sent a note of apology.

Her response: "All sounds like good prep for life as a pastor if you ask me." 

My response:  HMPPHH!!  Okay, that was my first response.  Then, I started thinking about how often I keep hearing this......  and what came into my mind next was the game of Hide and Seek.

Everyone knows how to play that game, right?  One person is designated as the counter/finder.  Everyone else goes and hides.  The counter counts to the designated number and then says, "Ready or not, here I come" and then goes to find each person.  That's how the game is supposed to be played. 

When I read my friend's response and the game popped into my head, it seemed to me that there was a different version of this game being played.  It feels like God is saying to me, "Ready or not, here you come."  And, I stop to scratch my head for a moment.  And laugh.  It makes sense in a way.  Most things in my life happen in odd ways. 

One, I learned "never say never" WAY before Justin Beiber ever sang about it.  And, for very different reasons.  I said I would "never" be a teacher.  And, I taught for 24 years.  When I look back at my life, I really taught for more of that as I was "Head" of the Archery Department at Camp Skyline and Saddlerock (following in Rainey and Felicia's footsteps!)  I taught swimming and sports, and ropes courses as well at camp.  When I was a little kid, I put my younger brother in a desk and gave him math lessons.  So, unbeknownst to me, I was a teacher long before I recognized it.

So, back to hide and seek.  I've not really been hiding. Truly I've been actively seeking, searching, asking, listening, and waiting.  I have acted upon those things which I believe I was supposed to do.  Yet, I do continue to wrestle with this question of ministry. 

As I feel called to help people in their spiritual journey-- spiritual formation, growth, discipleship, etc.-- and as I recognize the gifts of teaching and leadership and language skills, I wonder how to put it all together in such a way for ministry.  That's the missing puzzle for me.  There is no box-top for me at this time.  There is no map to follow.  I'm called to make the map.  One of the books for "Equipping the Laity" this semester hits this right on: Missional Map-Making: Skills for Leading in Times of Transition by Alan J. Roxburgh.

I've read it through once and am re-reading my notes in it currently.  There is one major thing missing in this book: my map.  I know, I know.  It's not going to be that easy. 

All I know to do is to keep on keeping on.  Keep learning, keep seeking, keep listening and to respond to what I feel God asking/pushing/telling/ me to do.  If you look at the path I'm on and have been on, it doesn't look "typical" for someone going in to ministry.  Actually, if I were to be honest, my life's path might not look "typical" on any level.  But that's okay, it's my journey.  It's my adventure.  And it doesn't have to be "typical" (in my opinion). 

To become a pastor in my denomination, there are steps to take (as with any denomination).  It's all listed out in the Book of Discipline, starting in paragraph 311 on page 209.  I'm not on that journey yet.  Or, at least, not per the guidelines set in the Book of Discipline.  To be perfectly honest with self and others, I believe that I am on that journey.  There have been quite a few things pointing to it.  (Okay, there are quite a few of you reading this who will say, "DUH!"  Go ahead.)  Whether or not I end up as a "pastor", I do sense that I'm being prepared for something.  It's scary, honestly.  But, for now, I'm going to stay the path in front of me, following the lead of my Guide on this journey.  What does the Lord require of me?  To to act justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with my God.  (Micah 6:8, edited) That is what I will try to do.  

Even though I thought the game of hide and seek was supposed to be, 'Ready or not, here I come.', for me, I'm learning that it is 'Ready or not, here you come.'

It is definitely an adventurous journey!

May your day be blessed with some fond childhood memories,

~Debra