I have not ever picked a word for a year. This year, a word picked me.
Wild.
I realized that some things were coming together that both had "wild" in it.
This mushroom caught my attention the other day. It was unusual. It was special. It was an excellent looking fungi, to me. It was wild. Creation has a way of capturing my attention.
I am attending Wild Goose for the first time this summer.
And, then, today things worked out for me to attend a Wild Church Network retreat for 3 days in June.
Wild.
What will this mean? I don't know. Yet, I look forward to the unfolding.
But, in looking at the definition of "wild" from Cambridge online, this caught my attention:
I have heard this song on the radio before. But as I hit highway 27 north nearing my home-away-from-home destination for the week, the song came on K-LOVE radio yesterday afternoon. For some reason, I listened more closely to the lyrics than I have in the past. They caught my attention.
Fire and flames always catch my attention. There is something calming and yet infusing, energizing about gazing at a fire. There is the passion that a fire and flame represents. There is the burning off of the dross, the impurities, etc. The colors of red, yellow, orange, and even blue...
My daughter drew a sharpie "tattoo" on her left bicep after the first day of class last week. It was a flame. It was awesome. It spoke to me of faith and love. And, maybe she was saying she loved and/or was "on fire" for school?!?!
Hearts on Fire, the Fellowship of United Methodists Spiritual Directors and Retreat Leaders, has used a heart with flames in its logos.
John Wesley talks about his heart being strangely warmed. I know there is no fire in there, but it's close.
The disciples on the road to Emmaus speak about their hearts burning within them when they had been walking and talking with Jesus. (Luke 24:32--"They said to each other, “Were not our hearts burning within uswhile he was talking to us on the road, while he was opening the scriptures to us?”)
So, how about this song "Start a Fire"? It's by a group called Unspoken.
Here are the lyrics:
This world can be cold and bitter
Feels like we're in the dead of winter
Waiting on something better
But am I really gonna hide forever?
Over and over again
I hear Your voice in my head
Let Your light shine, let Your light shine for all to see
[Chorus:]
Start a fire in my soul
Fan the flame and make it grow
So there’s no doubt or denying
Let it burn so brightly
That everyone around can see
That it’s You, that it’s You that we need
Start a fire in me
You only need a spark to start a whole blaze
It only takes a little faith
Let it start right here in this city
So these old walls will never be the same
Over and over again
I hear Your voice in my head
They need to know
I need to go
Spirit won't You fall on my heart now
[Chorus:]
Start a fire in my soul
Fan the flame and make it grow
So there’s no doubt or denying
Let it burn so brightly
That everyone around can see
That it’s You, that it’s You that we need
Start a fire in me
[Bridge:]
You are the fire You are the flame
You are the light on the darkest day
We have the hope we bear Your name
We carry the news that You have come to save
Only You can save
[Chorus:]
Start a fire in my soul
Fan the flame and make it grow
So there’s no doubt or denying
Let it burn so brightly
That everyone around can see
That it’s You, that it’s You that we need
Start a fire in me
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What are the words that capture my attention most in this song? It's likely obvious, but here you go: shine, light, start a fire, blaze, soul, flame, grow, burn, brightly.
It takes me back to campfires at camp, to the song "Pass It On". You know.... "it only takes a spark to get a fire going".
In case you don't know that one..... or to jog your memory....
It only takes a spark to get a fire going,
And soon all those around can warm up in its glowing;
That's how it is with God's Love,
Once you've experienced it,
Your spread the love to everyone
You want to pass it on.
What a wonderous time is spring,
When all the tress are budding
The birds begin to sing, the flowers start their blooming;
That's how it is with God's love,
Once you've experienced it.
You want to sing, it's fresh like spring,
You want to pass it on.
I wish for you my friend
This happiness that I've found;
You can depend on God
It matters not where you're bound,
I'll shout it from the mountain top - PRAISE GOD!
I want the world to know
The Lord of love has come to me
I want to pass it on.
I'll shout it from the mountain top - PRAISE GOD!
I want the world to know
The Lord of love has come to me
I want to pass it on.
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I'll close with a quote from Brennan Manning that I read in A Guide to Prayer for All Who Seek God (278-279): "What the world longs for from the Christian religion is the witness of men and women daring enough to be different, humble enough to make mistakes, wild enough to be burned in the fire of love, real enough to make others see how unreal they are. Jesus, son of the living God, anoint us with the fire this day. Let your Word not shine in our hearts, but let it burn. Let there be no division, compromise, or holding back. Separate the mystics from the romantics, and goad us to that dare-devil leap into the abyss of your love." -- From Reflections for Ragamuffins by Brennan Manning
That quote speaks into my life. I'm praying that it may be so on my journey.
So, I tried to skip church yesterday. That's right. And, I admit it. It's okay. I've already confessed to my associate pastor. She knows. I wasn't going to totally miss it. I planned to watch it on the screen, LIVE! The watching was good, but my lip reading wasn't so good and the sound wasn't working. So, I showered and headed in for the 2nd service. [By the way, it's okay to skip church.... to get out and be church... but that wasn't what I was doing yesterday.]
I got to see some folks I wouldn't have if I didn't go in..... I got to see the end of the 1st service on the screen in the Narthex. I got to see my husband at the altar with our daughter next to him... and others around too. That was powerful. I got to see folks in the hallway and in Sunday School.
I got to see folks in the 2nd service, one of those a visitor with whom I worked a recent Emmaus weekend.
You might be wondering why I was trying to skip out of community and simply watch via the internet. So, I'll let you know.... I really wasn't in the mood to be around people yesterday. There are days like that, you know. Even for extroverts. ☺ And when this extrovert isn't getting enough silence and solitude, it becomes even harder to be among others. Add to it the fact that I don't wear much of a mask anymore and it's not always fun or easy to be around others.... if you're going to live an authentic life, that includes being authentic about the struggles. And, sometimes I'd rather not be so authentic about that.
Before I went to church, I did send out notice to some long time sisters in Christ to let them know that I was struggling and on edge these days. Honestly, I can't put my finger 100% on it. But, I have been standing in the gap for others.... and there is need to stand in the gap in my own life. Plus, heading into another session of the Academy means that I'm about to be shaken up even more (because I'm not praying for marination time again!!). Between the physical, emotional, and spiritual things of life, I can sense the need for someone to be holding up my arms for extra strength. And, sense I call to accountability others to reach out, I reached out.
Today, I got a message from a recent new friend/author who asked "How can we pray for you?" What timing?!?! That was pretty cool! I didn't mention my spiritual funk from yesterday or my attempt to skip church. He can read about that here. ☺ What I mentioned was the upcoming Academy week.... for me... and for my family back home as they have time together. Then another trip later in the summer, a mission trip to Costa Rica.
There is reason for there to be spiritual edginess in my life. ☺
This morning I read a quote by Brennan Manning in A Guide To Prayer for All Who Seek God. It is from Manning's Reflection for Ragamuffins, but I found it on pages 278-279 of the Guide. Manning writes: "What the world longs for from the Christian religion is the witness of men and women daring enough to be different, humble enough to make mistakes, wild enough to be burned in the fire of love, real enough to make others see how unreal they are. Jesus, son of the living God, anoint us with fire this day. Let your Word not shine in our hearts, but let it burn. Let there be no division, compromise, or holding back. [...]"
That quote grabbed me this morning...... that's how I want to live, that's how I hope I'm living. I recognize that I'm not 100% successful 100% of the time, but I do hope and pray that the percentage is more now than it was 5, 10, 15, 20 years ago. I hope to be that person that dares "to be different, humble enough to make mistakes, wild enough to be burned in the fire of love, real enough to make others see how unreal they are."
Even with that being my heart's desire, there are days in which I would rather hide out in my "cave", so to speak. But, thankfully technology doesn't always work and yesterday I was forced to get out. I was also honest enough to reach out. Whew!
How about you? What is going on in your journey? Where is it taking you?
Blessings as you continue to learn and grow..... and live it out in community.
