A reflection reading from the weekly reflections was shared after prayer requests and afterwards we were asked to write down on a piece of paper what question we had for God, what question was in our heart, soul, mind.
Here is that reflection:
"Our questions can serve us well in a time such as this, a time of grave uncertainty, of soaring potential, of fragile, yet resilient hope. Our questions and questing are crucial, because they can help us live into the answer of the future. I am certain of one thing: the love that is God is at the heart of the answer, just as it is at the heart of each moment--past, present, and future. Faith today, tomorrow, and always seeks to live, to love, and to be loved fully. It seeks the Holy and waits (though not always patiently) to be found; it nurtures and activates wisdom and compassion. It chooses to embrace hope and to be embraced by hope, even when overwhelmed by despair; it seeks life even in the face of death. We act in faith, knowing that we see only dimly. But living in faith, we act anyway, choosing and doing the best we can. We act and live in confidence that someday we will see face to face, that we will live into the answers. For God's grace embraces our questions as well as our answers and our blindness as well as our vision, just as the sun shines steadily through the night, waiting to illumine the sky at dawn." ~From Wrestling till Dawn by Jean M. Blomquist (p. 142-143, A Guide to Prayer For All Who Seek God)
[After I read this quote by Jean Blomquist, I found myself wanting to know more about her and this book she wrote about wrestling and struggling. A link to the book is included above. It was published in 1994. She is a writer, speaker, and retreat leader. Here is a link to something else she has written: Holy Ground, in/for/on Weavings.]
I found that to be a very powerful reflection to being our service. As I thought about a question to ask God, that took a while, but one finally came.
We began the Holden Evening Prayer service. I've mentioned it in blog posts before. The first time or two you experience it, it might seem a little odd or different, because it is. Yet, for me at least, it settles in deep into the soul and my soul finds rest in the litany of it, the rhythm of it, and its message.
The Scripture for the evening was 2 Corinthians 3:12-18.
Jim Lewis shared a meditation from the week's reflections. Sometimes he shares something straight from the readings and at other times he combines that with his reflections during the week. I believe he did both last night because he shared some personally and mentioned Rueben Job who has a reflection quote in the book.
A couple of quotes from the Rueben Job reflection:
- "Living a transformed life is not possible on our own."
- "We know that living a transformed life means living at God's direction with grace-given capacity."
- "It means trusting more and staying close to the only One who can make us more than we are."
We read a prayer together by Norman Shawchuck:
"Here, O God, I pray for a realization of my condition in your eyes. Help me to see and know myself as you see and know me. Give me clear insight into my relationship with you. Let me know myself as you know me.
Give me assurance that I belong to you. Remove from me those nagging doubts and needless fears that I may not be good enough to be numbered with the great company of heaven.
On the other hand, if I am living in separation from you, if I am more a creature of evil than a child of God, O Great Physician, use your convicting scalpel on me. Perform within me the surgery necessary to heal me of all soul-sickness.
Christ, I abandon myself to you. Do with me every necessary thing to assure my entrance into eternal life--and the heaven already prepared for me." (p 142)
When the service was over, I stayed in the sanctuary for a while before heading to the fellowship hall for coffee, cookies, and fellowship. The atmosphere in that sanctuary is always peaceful and calming. It's a place where you can breathe and slow down, allowing your soul and body to rest.
Hanging out in the sanctuary for a little while, I was able to engage in conversation with someone. The evening's service had touched this person. In the conversation, she asked some questions that caused me to reflect on my journey of living a transformed life, of becoming who I am today.
I shared some of the insights that have come to me through the seminary and 2 year Academy journey and last summer's two week retreats back to back. As I've come to see myself as who God created me to be and as I am learning to live into that and learning to lead from that, I recognize it as an ongoing transformational process.
One can note the verb tense of "living" in the phrase living the transformed life and note that it is the gerund form, the present participle, meaning it is an ongoing process.
An analogy that comes to mind is the onion. Layer after layer is peeled off as we learn and grow along the journey. Throughout the peeling off of layers and ultimately at the core, we are still the unique person God created us to be. However, there are layers of us that surround our core being, our center. To get to the center, those layers need to be peeled away. Upon peeling away each outer layer, the next inside layer is tender and raw. It might bring tears to our eyes (unless it is a Vidalia onion ☺). One can only take analogies so far. This one may not fully work, but maybe it can help somewhat explain the layers and getting to our center, our true self. If not, throw it out.
Take a look back over the Scripture above (it is linked to Bible Gateway) and the different reflections for the theme of "living the transformed life".
What speaks to you today? What question(s) do you have for God on your journey? What is your greatest need today?
Wherever you find yourself today on the journey of a transformed life, may you know that you are loved.
Blessings on your journey,
Debra
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