What does this mean?
The first thing that comes to my mind is 'hide and seek' or any type of 'hiding'. But this isn't what the word is referring to in the context in which I've been reading it this week.
I've been working through Henri Nouwen's Bread for the Journey this week and "hiddenness" has been part of the conversation. I say "conversation" because the words haven't let go of me and have been working in me, creating a dialogue deep inside.
There are four days devoted to hiddenness, August 12-15, but it is yesterday's reading (August 13) that has been swirling around within me.
Yesterday's title was "Hiddenness, a Place of Intimacy". Just looking at the title, how can hiddenness be a place of intimacy unless you are playing a game of "sardines" and once you are found, those who have found you cram into your hiding space with you?!?! In case you're not familiar with the childhood game of "sardines", check out this link to learn more about it. And, before you think I was being serious, no, I don't believe this is the type of hiddenness to which Nouwen refers. It's just that my brain entertains odd analogies at times. These analogies are fun and usually goofy. And, sometimes these odd analogies allow me to keep from reflecting on the deeper things.
So, let me get away from the games and into the deeper things.
The August 13 devotion begins, "Hiddenness is an essential quality of the spiritual life." Hiddenness is essential. Okay, I'm getting that. But, what exactly is this "hiddenness"?
The answer to that question comes in the August 14 devotion, "Hiddenness, a Place of Purification."
"In hiddenness we do not receive human acclamation, admiration, support, or encouragement. In hiddenness we have to go to God with our sorrows and joys and trust that God will give us what we most need."
Hmmm.... I'm not so sure that I'm liking this "hiddenness" thing. Having said that, I don't think the above statement means that we're not to rely on community, the body of Christ for support, encouragement, or prayer. What I believe that it is pointing out is that we aren't to live with our focus being on and for others to meet our needs. Rather, we are to take things to God. God can and will use the body of community in our midst to meet those needs. Others might be "nudged" to reach out to us (or us to them)... this is the Holy Spirit working to connect the body parts.
It goes back to the inward, outward journey. If we are spending time in our private lives getting to know ourselves, spending time in silence, solitude, reading, studying, etc., then we are going to be able to live a more authentic outward life. Nouwen states the importance of hiddenness, this inward focus, in the August 13 devotion: "It is in hiddenness that we can find a true intimacy with God and a true love for people."
Maybe it would help to back up to August 12, where Nouwen talks about the hidden life of Jesus in the devotion "The Hidden Life of Jesus." Nouwen points out that Jesus much of Jesus' life was hidden, that he lived a simple, ordinary life until the time he started his ministry. Nouwen writes: "Jesus' hidden life is very important for our own spiritual journeys. If we want to follow Jesus by words and deeds in the service of his Kingdom, we must first of all strive to follow Jesus in his simple, unspectacular, and very ordinary hidden life."
"In hiddenness we find our true selves." (August 14)
Hiddenness is about spending time with God, getting to know ourselves, growing in intimacy in our relationship with God. As a result, we will grow in love for others and find our true self, who we were created to be, and our lives will bear fruit.
Living into this hidden life isn't easy in a world in which we are encouraged to make a name for ourselves, seek fame and fortune, etc.
Yet, it is in losing our lives that we find it. (Several passages in the Scriptures refer to this: Matthew 10:39; 16:25; Mark 8:35; Luke 9:24; Luke 17:33; John 12:25).
Ah, maybe I'm starting to get it. This hidden life in Christ is about letting go of my own life, my rights, my etc. It's about hiding myself in Christ and gaining the perspective and view that isn't about me.
I know I won't always live it out. I imagine my false self (false ego) will jump in and desire acclamation, admiration, support, encouragement, etc. But, hopefully, as I seek intentionally to spend time in silence, solitude, living an ordinary life... maybe there will be moments in which I am able to live into this hiddenness.
What about you?
How are you living into this "essential quality of the spiritual life" of hiddenness?
Blessings on your journey,
Debra
No comments:
Post a Comment