Last week we had our monthly "Simple Presence" for our Spiritual Direction cohort. They are offered in the morning and in the evening on the first Tuesday. Normally I have a commitment on Tuesday mornings, but this past Tuesday we weren't meeting, so I was able to join in on the morning session. What was shared was perfect for me to hear and contemplate.
The leader for this Simple Presence was Kristi. She shared a reading from Ash & Starlight: prayers for the chaos & grace of daily life (Chalice Press, 2019). This was an unfamiliar book to me and I knew I needed (wanted) it from the reading she shared. I honestly think "needed" is fair as the writings are incredibly poignant for anyone on the faith journey, though there will be a few people who will argue with me "needing" any book.
I ordered the book and it arrived on Saturday. I opened the package today, Sunday, and started reading the preface and thumbing through the book. I learned that the author, Arianne Braithwaite Lehn, has a blog by the same name as the book: Ash and Starlight. In case the link doesn't work for you, the blogsite URL is her full name (above) then "dot" com.
The reading she shared was: "When I'm struggling to accept my life right now" on pages 30 and 31.
There were many things that caught my attention, but the very first part was extremely relatable as I had just cut my thumb a week ago from the day. I knew the flesh wound that was healing slowly and was able to connect to the words easily.
"Completely Gracious One,
Forgive me.
I've slipped into cynicism this week,
hanging my heart on negativity
rather than hope, covering bloody wounds
rather than opening them
to the air of your healing.
Air can sting."
As I contemplated on the healing of wounds in the openness rather than covering them up, the reading continued to provide more for my reflection:
"I've been asking you
for a change in my circumstances.
And I've been complaining.
Sometimes, you want a
change of conditions,
and you equip me to
make that happen.
But maybe what
I need this time
is not a change of what's around me,
but a change inside me.
My heart,
not my circumstances.
Maybe a change in heart
will lead to a change
in circumstances?"
Hmmmm. A change in heart. Circumstances aren't always what need to change, bur rather it is my/our inside, my/our heart that requires a change. Here again is another deep place for reflection, to simply rest and reside on these thoughts. But no! There is quite a bit more...
"But, for now, the changed
heart will be enough.
Instead of discontent, gratitude.
Rather than jealousy, generosity.
In place of judgement, compassion.
Replacing anger, laughter.
Mold my heart, God, into
the form you want it to be.
Lead me to my courage.
Kindle and warm what
has grown cold in me.
Energize the passions lying lethargic.
In this day, help me stand before all my life
with a trusting, open heart.
That's a good enough change for now.
I will ask you about those circumstances later."
Oh, wow! Gratitude. Generosity. Compassion. Laughter. I could see these things flowing from a heart, representing a changed heart. The praise song "Spirit of the Living God" came to mind with the line "melt me, mold me, fill me, use" as it heard the words 'mold my heart'. 'Lead me to my courage' speaks to me as I seek to live, love, and lead like Jesus. The word 'kindle' causes my to think of the prayer "Come, Holy Spirit" and the line that says "kindle in them the fire of your love". The expression 'trusting, open heart' caused me to think of having open hands, being open to whatever God offers/brings.
The reading still isn't over. It ends with this:
"I praise you as
the heart-renewing
God who is good,
the God who is able,
the God I love,
and the God of us all.
Amen."
Ah, yes. There is praise at the end and a recognition of who God is and God's character. There is strength and hope in these words: 'heart-renewing God'.
Another song that came to mind from this reading was "Change My Heart, Oh God".
Of the suggested Scripture passages with this reading, we looked at 2 Corinthians 12:9-10--"He said to me, “My grace is enough for you, because power is made perfect in weakness.” So I’ll gladly spend my time bragging about my weaknesses so that Christ’s power can rest on me. Therefore, I’m all right with weaknesses, insults, disasters, harassments, and stressful situations for the sake of Christ, because when I’m weak, then I’m strong."
Grace. God's grace is sufficient for us. It is enough. Thankfully, grace is always available to us, if we'll receive it, accept it. Grace can carry us through the things listed in verse 10: weaknesses, insults, disasters, harassments, and stressful situations.
The reading and the Scripture passage were both powerful for reflection.
The entire book is full of readings and Scripture passages for different situations. I imagine this will become part of my prayer life.
As you reflect on this reading and the Scripture passage, spend some moments in silent reflection. What resonates most with you?
Peace on your faith journey, wherever you find yourself this day.
May the heart change begin!
Rev. Deb
