Praying with Eyes Open

After services and before an afternoon meeting, I am enjoying a little bit of outdoors time on the patio, with a book and some coffee.

I am continuing to read Eugene Peterson's The Contemplative Pastor: Returning to the Art of Spiritual Direction.

Because I still have ordination paperwork and Hearts on Fire board work to do before I can allow myself in-depth writing in other forms, I am not going to go in-depth on other thoughts about "church" last night with Garrison Keillor or even church today, both of which I could probably write a bit about.  I still have my 7 year blog post celebration to write too.  All of that will need to wait.

A quick word for now.

I just finished Chapter VII, "Praying with Eyes Open" and was introduced to Annie Dillard in that chapter.  She sounds like someone I would enjoy reading, so I will check into some of her writings.  Peterson mentioned her Pulitzer Prize winning book, Pilgrim at Tinker Creek (published in 1974), among other writings.

What caught my attention was that Peterson described her as a "mystical theologian" (70) and noted that "she is after bigger game: after meaning, after glory, after God." (71)

She is an "ally in Christian pilgrimage" (72) and "embraces spiritual disciplines in order to deal with a Creator and a creation" (72).

At the end of the chapter Peterson defines kataphatic and apophatic prayer in this way:

"Kataphatic prayer uses icons, symbols, ritual, incense; the creation is the way to the Creator.  Apophatic prayer attempts emptiness; the creature distracts from the Creator, and so the mind is systematically emptied of idea, image, sensation until there is only the simplicity of being.  Kataphatic prayer is "praying with your eyes open"' apophatic prayer is "praying with your eyes shut." (84)

For me, both prayers are fulfilling and I need both in order to live a balanced prayer life.

As I prayed with my eyes open today, looking at creation, I noticed this snail on the water spout.

Upon further inspection, I found him burrowed deep inside.  I don't know if he will make it or not, but I removed him from his perched place, where he was stuck and put him in a place of soil.

Now a wasp has decided to drink deeply of my coffee.  I will share.  In fact, I will relinquish my coffee to the guest, albeit unwanted.

Whether you pray with your eyes open or closed, make some time for prayer today.

Blessings on your journey,

Debra

P.S.  Here is a site I look forward to spending some time with later in order to get to know Annie Dillard better-- Annie Dillard Official Site

Pierced and stung... an interesting morning!

I woke up prepared for this day.  I was eager and excited to see what worship might bring.  The Bridge Builders series over this past month has been informational and transformational.

There have been some difficult things that have taken place in the life of the church, but as I learned from some leadership development training on Saturday and also heard from Bill Easum... there are times when leadership needs to take a stand for the health of the community, make changes to get the community moving or growing, etc.  Those aren't exact words, those are take-away thoughts combined from the two different settings.

As I said, I woke up excited for this day.  I had met with some others yesterday evening to pray for the leadership of the church, to pray for all who would come to church, to pray throughout the campus, etc.  We gathered and prayed.   We scattered and prayed.  We re-gathered and prayed.  It was a powerful and meaningful time for me.

I decided to wear one of my new outfits I had picked up in Waynesville, NC last week.  Then, I decided I would wear earrings.  I haven't worn earrings in ages.

Getting the earring in my left ear was not a problem.  Then I tried the right ear.  I have had my ears pierced for years.  It took me a little while to get the right side to go through.  Then, I decided to go ahead and wear two pairs of earrings.  I have double piercings.  Again, the left side was not a problem.  But that right side?!?!  It took quite a while to get the earring into the front part, even more the back side.  I had to have help.  And, it was a tad painful for a moment.  I had left them grow over. 

Much like pruning, there is some pain to pushing through grown-over skin to re-open the hole.  But, the second set of piercings is pretty significant for me.  Many years ago, a good friend of mine and I went for our second set of piercings (way before piercings became a thing of the entire body).  She got hers done and I chickened out.  I couldn't do it.  It was a few years later that I finally honored my commitment to our pact and got mine done.

Fear can have a way of stopping us in our tracks.  It may keep us from doing something simple that doesn't really have life implications or it may keep us from living into who we are called to be.

I think this morning's re-piercing (as it turned out for the one ear) was symbolic for me in that I'm going to move forward in living into what and who I am called to be.  It isn't crystal clear, but I know to take the next step that I can see.  Without fear.  And, pushing through any boundaries that might be keeping me from pressing onward.

Edified and ready to go; feeling things aligning; encouraged by songs I heard on the radio in my driveway and on the way to worship-- you know the feeling?!?!  Nothing can stop me now!

Then, as I put my right hand on the door to swing it open, I hear a LOUD buzzing noise and see a large black object land on my left shoulder.  At the same moment, I feel a powerful sting and see the thing fly off.  OUCH!  Amazingly, I said no words other than "dang, that hurt" as I walked in to the Narthex, more stunned and in disbelief.  Because the pain was intense and throbbing, I sought out some benedryl.  A dear angel checked the first aid kit, in which there was none, but then drove down to the nearest store and got some oral and topical benedryl.  I was surprised to see how red and swollen my shoulder had become when she returned with the benedryl and I applied it.

Thankfully, I learned today that I'm not severely allergic to wasps.  Also, I am thankful that some folks took care of the wasps nest by the door so others wouldn't have such a buzzing experience upon entering worship. 

I would like to say that I made it through the painful experience without saying any "bad" words.  But, upon entering the sanctuary and upon being asked by my two pastors how I was prior to their walking down the aisle, I told them the sting had hurt like "hell".  That was the only word I said.  And, as it was pointed out, that may not have been the best place to say the word.  But, God knew how I was feeling and knew the pain.  And, I think the analogy was okay. 

As far as analogies go, I wouldn't take "pierced" or "stung" too far down any road or try to figure any of it out.  Though there was some reflection along the way, it certainly wasn't all deep. ☺ 

Even so, it made me think of moving forward, moving beyond the pain, the fear, the stings of life, the obstacles. 

That type of moving is part of the journey, if we are to learn and grow. 

This morning's lessons came in odd forms, even prior to the worship and message.

How about in your life and on your journey?  Where are you seeing lessons along the way?  How are you finding ways to apply them to where you are or where you've been or where you're going?

Maybe, that's something to think about.

Blessings on your journey,

Debra