Beach and Bamboo

This get-away spot has the best of all the worlds-- there is beach, bamboo, breezes, sun, shade at times, good food, beautiful flowers, and a few cool birds and other creatures. 

Last night on the walk back from dinner, I saw a huge toad on the sidewalk. No photo.

I have only heard the woodpecker in the bamboo until today. It flew off and went to a tree. It was a red-headed one. Look closely and you might find it.

There have been some lizards.

I have listened to the wind blow through the bamboo.  I have heard the gentle waves on the shore. 

I have heard the gentle rain and the downpour. 

It has been a time to breathe in and breathe out.

Jamaican time. It is allowing my body to rest and my soul time to catch up. 

It has offered me time to walk, play in the water, rest (even taking naps), and time to simply be.

Good coffee has been a plus, as has good food. 

There have been some hearts seen. 

Grateful for this time away.

Here are some random pics of flowers.

My time here in Negril, Jamaica 🇯🇲 along the 7-mile Beach has been good for me.

Until next time,

Peace on the journey. 

Rev. Deb

Becoming "unbusy"-- the eternal challenge

On a crisp 63 degree morning, I am outside on the patio with some coffee, listening to the waterfall and enjoying some quiet "be still" time.

I had planned to sleep in today, but I guess 7:30 am is sleeping in when 5:30 am is the normal wake up time.

A hummingbird is visiting the feeders as I type.  I enjoy watching those creations.  Once and only once so far, I observed one become still while feasting on the perch.  I had never seen that before.  But because it had space on the one feeder, it could actually be on the feeder and take a moment of inactivity while it was there.

Space.  Either we find it, make it, or create it for ourselves in order to not be so busy, to stop moving, to be able to stand still, to rest.

We all need that space.  That's why we have Sabbath rest.  Rest allows us to be who we are created to be.

I know it.  I have lots of books that remind me.  I'm a better person when I live into Sabbath rest.  Yet, it is still a struggle to guard that time and space.

As I write, there are two hummingbirds fighting over the one feeder.  One comes in to eat and another comes to attack it.  There is another feeder less than 20 feet away.  I wonder if one of them will move to the other feeder? There are hummingbirds going there, but evidently not these two.  They are in either play or battle mode today.

Thankfully, when it comes to space for rest and stillness, there is plenty. We don't need to fight over it.  We just need to do it.

I am glad for some time this morning.

Time to listen.  Time to be.  Time to breathe.  Time to watch hummingbirds. Time to drink coffee unhurriedly.

Yesterday I said I would share some notes as I read Eugene Peterson's The Contemplative Pastor: Returning to the Art of Spiritual Direction.

The forward is an interview with Eugene Peterson and Rodney Clapp.  There were some good nuggets there for me, but today I'll share from chapter two, "The Unbusy Pastor".

"How can I lead people into the quiet place beside the still waters if I am in perpetual motion?" (19)
"If no one asked me to do anything, what would I do? Three things.  I can be a pastor who prays. [...]  I know I can't be busy and pray at the same time. [...] I can be a pastor who preaches. [...] This kind of preaching is a creative act that requires quietness and solitude, concentration and intensity. [...] I can be a pastor who listens. [...] I want to have the energy and time to really listen to them so that when they're through, they know at least one other person has some inkling of what they're feeling and thinking. [...]  Too much of pastoral visitation is punching the clock, assuring people we're on the job, being busy, earning our pay. Pastoral listening requires unhurried leisure, even if it's only for five minutes.  Leisure is a quality of spirit, not a quantity of time." (19-21)

The more important question: "How many people have you listened to in Christ this week?" (21)

"But if I provide margins to my day, there is ample time to listen." (22) [Providing margins in the day has been a goal for me for quite a few years.  I attempt to have no more than 3 things on my calendar, allowing there to be margins.  My calendar has gotten less busy over the years, though there are seasons in life and in ministry when they are busier.  Charge conference season is a busier time of year as a pastor.  With three churches in the parish, there is a need to have each nominations / leadership development team meet.  That means 4 meetings right there.  And with that, we've only just begun.]

Peterson recognizes the difficulty in keeping margins in the calendar and speaks to that situation by scheduling appointments for himself.  That way they are in the calendar.  He notes, "I mark out the times for prayer, for reading, for leisure, for the silence and solitude out of which creative work-- prayer, preaching, and listening-- can issue." (23)

Good thoughts on a way to make margins in the schedule for needed things.  He also has a good phrase so he doesn't give in to too many things, "My appointment calendar will not permit it." (22)  Though I've gotten better at that, I still need wisdom and discernment on that.  Don't we all?  These lessons making space for ourselves in Peterson's book, though written for pastors, can be applied to all folks.  After all, we are the priesthood of all believers, and we all struggle with putting too much on our calendars and not having enough time for self-care, soul-care, rest, silence, solitude, leisure, and the creative work of ministry that flows from that (whatever ministry God has us involved in, again, as we are all a part of ministry).

How can you become less busy?  What are some steps you might take from having read these quotes by Eugene Peterson?

Blessings on your journey,

Debra

Breathe, just breathe

Today I am working on lesson plans for tomorrow night's class on fasting for the Devotional Life in the Wesleyan Tradition and reading/studying/writing on this week's sermon.  I am also thinking ahead to next Sunday, all Saint's Day because I need to get things in earlier in the week. 

It was just last Thursday that I attended that one day retreat with SoulCare Project at St. Paul's Episcopal and heard Judy Brown's poem "Fire" for the first time.  I wrote about it last week (Sabbath Retreat--Taking Time Apart).  It has come to mind quite a bit in this past week.  What logs do I need to take off the fire in order to have breathing space?

As I live into arthritic pain and have added physical therapy back into my life schedule these days because of hip issues, I am once again reminded to listen carefully to my body, to not over-extend, etc. 

What that meant for me yesterday was that I took a log off the fire.  It was a log I enjoy--coffee with colleagues in the morning at a coffee shop.  But due to needing extra time to get the body going in the morning, I knew I needed to take that off my plate yesterday.  I needed breathing space in the day.  Though I didn't get anything accomplished, I did rest a little longer.  And rest was what my body needed.  Accomplishing things isn't always the best thing, anyway.  There will always be something on the 'to-do' list(s). 

In preparing this morning for tomorrow's class, I am reminded that fasting is a way of making space for grace.  Making space brought back to mind Judy Brown's poem again, so I re-read it and found this blog post from November 2013, Breathing Space.  I decided to put one of my many fire pit pictures with the poem to hand out tomorrow night in class.

In addition to this poem by Judy Brown, I heard a song yesterday on the radio that I've heard a couple of times, "Breathe".  It's by Jonny Diaz. (At least I think this is the version I heard yesterday.  If not, this has great lyrics and fits/resonates.)

Lyrics:

Alarm clock screaming bare feet hit the floor
It’s off to the races everybody out the door
I’m feeling like I’m falling behind, it’s a crazy life
Ninety miles an hour going fast as I can
Trying to push a little harder trying to get the upper hand
So much to do in so little time, it’s a crazy life
It’s ready, set, go it’s another wild day
When the stress is on the rise in my heart I feel you say just

Breathe, just breathe
Come and rest at my feet
And be, just be
Chaos calls but all you really need
Is to just breathe

Third cup of joe just to get me through the day
Want to make the most of time but I feel it slip away
I wonder if there’s something more to this crazy life
I’m busy, busy, busy, and it’s no surprise to see
That I only have time for me, me, me
There’s gotta be something more to this crazy life
I’m hanging on tight to another wild day
When it starts to fall apart in my heart I hear you say just

Breathe, just breathe
Come and rest at my feet
And be, just be
Chaos calls but all you really need

Is to take it in fill your lungs
The peace of God that overcomes
Just breathe
So let your weary spirit rest
Lay down what’s good and find what’s best
Just breathe

Just breathe, just breathe
Come and rest at my feet
And be, just be
Chaos calls but all you really need
Is to just breathe
Just breathe

I need to remember each day (sometimes multiply times a day) to take moments to breathe and rest.  "Be still and know that I am God."  I cannot seem to escape Psalm 46:10, but that's okay.  I don't want to.  I really want to and need to come and be and rest at the feet of the One who created me.

There was another breathing space yesterday that I wasn't expecting.  A little time outdoors in the fresh air to share about faith, God, calling, and vision. 

Making space to breathe.  What needs to come off the schedule?  What needs to go on?  The same thing that might need to come off one day may be the very thing that needs to go on another one.  How do you know?  Listen.  Listen closely to the Spirit. 

May there be plenty of breathing space in your life today.

Blessings on your journey,

Debra

Sabbath retreat-- taking time apart

What happens when you take time apart for your soul?

Your soul catches up with your body.  Your mind has time to rest, along with your body, heart, and soul.

This is another theme in my life, like grace, that has been a lifeline.  It has helped me live into who I am.  Sabbath rest is a gift of grace.  One that I don't always receive.  It's a gift I must be intentional about accepting, even scheduling, in order to have time and space to listen to the One Voice.

Yes, I make time at home for silence and solitude.  But there is something about making time for that time apart.  Whether it be a day, several days, or a week (or more).  Extended times to get away, to stop doing the routine, to listen to the One Voice and other voices that speak life.

Today is that day.

I had seen this retreat scheduled a while back and put it on my calendar. It meant rescheduling a hip doctor appointment to another day earlier in the week, but that turned out for the better anyway.

This retreat has been a super blessing today.  My soul is being refreshed.  I have been able to "be".  It is said that one needs to slow down in order to catch up.  That is what this day is for me.  I am slowing down in order to catch up.

Though I intend to have a weekly Sabbath rest on Fridays, it doesn't always happen.  Though I intend to take daily silence and solitude time, that doesn't always happen.

Today's gift of time apart has been super.

St. Paul's Episcopal is a beautiful space.  It's my first time here.  They have a wonderful prayer labyrinth that you can get to from the inside of the building.  I was able to do a prayer walk there during our morning session of silence and solitude.

As I began, I noticed a large section of bird poop on the path.

 Isn't that just like life?  We often have to walk through a path of poop (or your word of choice) to get to where we are going.  Whether the stuff was there by someone else's making or even our own stuff, stuff is often on the path.  We might can walk around it.  Or we might just have to go right through it.  But it doesn't have to stop us.  In fact, in the right circumstances (such as soil), manure makes things grow.

Jesus often took time apart to be by himself, to pray, to be with the Father.

"Being" is a crucial part of our ministry, no matter if we are lay people or clergy.  We can't run on empty.  Silence allows us to listen, to get away from all the other voices and demands.

This morning's Scripture was from Mark 4:35-39.  Mark is my favorite of the Gospel writings.  That was a good passage to contemplate today.  The next to last question from the lectio reading this morning was 'what is the name of the storm that Jesus wants to speak to you today?'  As I reflected on that and was honest with myself, I had to say "arthritic pain".

Arthritic pain has become a storm in my life.  It isn't quite a tsunami at this point, but it is a storm.  Yesterday at the foot doctor, I was relieved to learn that my stress fracture has healed.  However, I had gone because I am still having pain in the foot.  The pain is arthritic pain.  Take the pain in the foot, add to it the pain in the right and left hip, and a left hand that no longer does all it can do.... and arthritis has begun working on me physically and otherwise.

When I went through my three years of frozen shoulders and anemia, it was a battle of physical and other.  Here I am again with some challenges.  Listening to one's body in order to best deal with what is going on physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually is a spiritual discipline.

For me to articulate that arthritic pain is a storm that is brewing in my life, well, that's important.  For me to accept Jesus' invitation to come and rest with him during the storm... that is equally important.  God has this.  God has me.  It's about trust and knowing that God truly does have me.

Making time to be apart, to listen, to be.... these days and moments remind me that Jesus does have me, that I am not carrying these burdens on my own.... or, at least, that I am not meant to nor do I have to.

May my heart continue to open up wider with trust rather than effort.

May I continue to lay down my burdens and allow my soul to be rested by the One who created me and is continuing to work in and through me.

There have been some great prayers and poems shared today:  "Fire" by Judy Brown, "Prayer to Welcome the Sabbath" by (I'm not sure), and a rather lengthy but powerful prayer shared at the beginning to our afternoon quiet time.

Judy Brown's poem "Fire":

What makes a fire burn
is space between the logs,
a breathing space.
Too much of a good thing,
too many logs
packed in too tight
can douse the flames
almost as surely
as a pail of water would.

So building fires
requires attention
to the spaces in between,
as much as to the wood.

When we are able to build
open spaces
in the same way
we have learned
to pile on the logs,
then we can come to see how
it is fuel, and absence of the fuel
together, that make fire possible.

We only need to lay a log
lightly from time to time.

A fire
grows
simply because the space is there,
with openings
in which the flame
that knows just how it wants to burn

can find its way.

We went to the 12:05pm Eucharist at St. Paul and that was a blessing.

Part of my day apart today has been wandering around the building and enjoying the beauty of the art and architecture.

Another part of my day apart has been fellowship with folks, including 3 fellow colleagues in my conference.

Another part of my day has been allowing my soul to catch up with my body.

It has been good to relax, to listen, to allow God into my heart, mind, and soul.  It has been good to commune.

This evening I teach a class on the Devotional Life in the Wesleyan Tradition and am blessed to teach on Holy Communion.  I look forward to the privilege of having communion twice in one day.

Peace and blessings on your journey.  May there be some rest and time apart to listen.

Debra

P.S.  Here are some pictures from my time at St. Paul's today:

The end of January already?!?! (Looking back and reflecting over the week and month)

Today is January 31, the last day of the first month of the year.  2015.  Wow.  The year is already ZOOMING and ZIPPING by.

I have a full week between my J-Term studies and my Spring Semester studies to enjoy a little bit of a break.  I don't know if I will stay away from all of my reading the entire week, but I am going to try.

Meanwhile, here is a reflection from this past week and month.

January.

Primarily my January was consumed with Contemporary Theology.  I traveled to Florida for the intensive on campus class.  I came back home to finish my readings, take the tests, and turn in assignments.  I finished all requirements this past week.  Some folks took the tests online.  Others of us took paper tests because there had been some glitches with the online.  It took me 10 hours to complete Test 1 and 5 hours to complete Test 2.  Thorough tests!  Pedagogically speaking, Test 2 was a good test.  The class was a very interesting and insightful one.  The readings will be helpful resources for the future.  That was my final required on campus class and therefore my final J-Term course.  Graduation is nearing!

January included the celebration of a milestone birthday for my Dad on January 8.  Woo hoo!

I attended two life celebrations in January, one on January 2 and one on January 22.   Throughout the month, I thought about my grandmother Meemo and her passing last January.  She was the grandparent that I got to know for the longest amount of years because she is the most recent to pass.  Because of that and because of my involvement in the aging and dying process, I carry many memories. 

January also brought the due date for the commissioning paperwork for Holston Conference.  It was due to be postmarked no later than January 5.  Since I would be in class that day, I knew I had to have mine mailed prior.  Since I was leaving town on the 3rd, that meant the 2nd.  On the 2nd I found myself making copies and getting to the Post Office prior to the funeral / life celebration I mentioned earlier.  It was one of those days when lines were long everywhere and the copiers weren't doing what they normally do.  It was an opportunity for me to keep my cool and keep moving on.  Life brings on interesting challenges at times. ☺

Wednesday evenings settle my soul through the Mid-Week Vespers reflection service.  This week was no different.  This week's theme was "Saying Yes to God".  One of the things we were asked to do was to pick a picture from the ones offered that spoke to us of saying yes to God in response to calling.  The one that stood out to me?  RISK.

I don't know exactly what this calling of "risk" means, but I do know that I want to live all out, with all that I have each day.  I want to be open, vulnerable, do what I can, be who I am, etc.

It struck me earlier in the week that my goal is 'making the most of everyday', living life to the fullest, being intentional about it, living life in the present.  I want to be open to the opportunities that God brings my way to be involved in the lives of others.   This means making time for silence and solitude so I can hear the One voice.  It means listening and obeying.  I don't always get it right.  I fall short.  But, it is a goal.

Part of my January adventures revealed that my blood level is low again.  I tried twice this month to give blood.  As an O-, I love to donate blood as often as allowed.  But, my body isn't allowing me to right now.  I am listening to my body.  I am adding iron to my daily intake in multiple ways.  Not being able to give blood did explain why I felt tired most of the month and why I was having difficulties concentrating on my reading.  It wasn't just because it was theology. ☺  Anemia is sneaky.  I have been there once before.   The doctors never found a reason for it. 

Because I can only do from that which I am, it is important for me to "be".  Therefore, I am listening to my body and resting when tired, increasing iron, etc.  I am reminded once again that we are body, mind, and soul.

My "being" continues to flow out of study, time with spiritual director, worship in community during the week, time with spiritual friends, exercise, etc.  These aspects of the journey strengthen me for the "doing" parts.

January has blessed me with some wonderful opportunities for doing, for sharing God's love and light into the lives of others and I am grateful for that.

Yesterday was a day of adventure and learning in which I joined some others and we went out to take lunch bags and coffee to folks around town.  We found a few people, but not at the camps.  We visited some camps that were new to me.  We found one camp that I thought was there but had been too chicken to find by myself last month.  I met some wonderful folks with beautiful smiles and great senses of humor as we shared the food and coffee with them.  It seems like so long ago when I first started helping out with Forrest Avenue and their ministry.  And it was.  I look forward to seeing how God continues to open up doors.

As I contemplate the month of January, I think of the lyrics, "I set out on a great adventure".  I also think of the lyrics "I wanna live with abandon" and "I'm diving in."  The first and last lines are from Stephen Curtis Songs, "Long Way Home" and "Dive".  The middle one is a Newsboys song, "Live With Abandon".  I've written about them before, but I'll include them here.  There are probably other songs that speak to me living each day intentionally, making the most, with risk, etc., but this is a good start.

This year is off to a great start for me.  How about you?  What are you learning?  What are you experiencing?  What speaks to you on the journey?

Blessings on your adventurous journey!

Debra ☺