Coffee, water, and a breeze

Sometimes I just need a moment to reflect, to be reminded that God's got this, whatever "this" is.

Right now I'm taking a moment.

With a freshly brewed cup of coffee, I came outside to enjoy the breezes and the sounds of the waterfall.

Breathe in, breath of God.

Breathe out, everything that is not.

Again.

And again.

Until my lungs and every ounce of my being are filled once again with the inner peace of the Holy Spirit flowing in and through me.

Yes, God's got this.

But I need reminding over and over.

I don't know about you, but I've noticed a theme coming through in my spiritual discipline of writing lately.  It has been a difficult season.  That seems to be an ongoing theme in my journey.  And, that's okay.  I continue to learn and grow through life's opportunities and challenges.

I have lots to learn.  I am a life-long learner, so learning is a great thing for me.

One thing (of many) that I continue to be reminded of is that it's all about God and it's all God's.  What this helps me with is perspective.  Even when things are swirling around me, I'm learning to see God, to be still in the chaos, and to wait for the next visible step.

There are both/and paradoxes all throughout life.  I am learning to keep my hands open, palm upward to what God would have me learn, be, do.  It's not without growing pains.

This week I had wanted to go to a friend's funeral, but I wasn't able to to attend because I knew I had to be up at 4:30am the next day for my husband's surgery.  I would have gotten in late the night before and I needed rest.  That's the second funeral in a year that I have opted out on for the priority of knowing my body needed rest.

Why do I share that?  Because the "me" 10 to 20 years ago would have pushed myself to the bitter end.  I would have tried to be all places, do all things, and I would have crashed eventually.  I still crash at times, but I just can't do what I used to.  I am learning to listen to my body and to God.

As I continue opening myself to Creator and seek to live out the greatest commandments as Jesus noted (Mark 12:30-31), love God and love others as we love ourselves, I find myself stretched, growing, changing.  My heart continues to be opened and broken, the borders of my life expanded, my life transformed.

Lincoln Brewster:  "Love the Lord"

I know we can get easily discouraged if we look around at all the problems in our daily lives, in our communities, in society, in our nation, in our world.  But, I know that I can't let that stop me from living, loving, or leading like Jesus.

I must continue to live a compassionate life, to live from the center of Christ in me.

For me, that requires time apart.  Time to be with God in silence and in solitude.  Time in prayer.  Time in Scripture.  It also means time in community with others who are like-minded.  Time in small groups.  Time in worship.  Time to take Eucharist, Holy Communion.  Time to share the love of God with others.  Time to listen.

I'm grateful for these moments of time apart, now I'm going to spend some time in community.

God is good.  Life is good.

Seeking to live, love, and lead as a follower of the way of Christ.

Blessings on your journey,

Debra

Selling boiled peanuts

Yesterday was one of those days.  Today may end up being another one of them by the end of it.  We'll see.  Every now and then I go to a place where I say that I will sell boiled peanuts.  It has become my "go-to" place when I am frustrated in the box, the red tape, folks not wanting to live kingdom living outward, but focused on inward living.  And it may not be lots of situations, but enough.  Enough to wear down my soul, to cause me to rethink this living, loving, and leading for Jesus thing and trade it in for selling boiled peanuts.

I would get one of those big black kettles or an old trash can to use.  Get those south Georgia peanuts. Set up on the side of the road.  Or go on the road and sell them.  I could have one on one conversations with all kinds of people and talk about their lives, their faith, their hopes, their disappointments, who Jesus is to them, what change they would like to see in their community, etc.

Ah, those are the conversations I can have on a daily basis with the folks in my life now. Yet, that doesn't seem so easy.  Most folks seem to want to protect the borders of the castle.  To talk about hopes, dreams, who Jesus is to them, what change they would like to see in their community has not been easy.

Now, don't get me wrong. There are some folks with whom I am able to have these conversations.  Yet, we all know that there are days and times that present us with challenges.

I know, no one ever promised me it would be easy.  Teaching wasn't easy either.  There was work involved there too.

My point in sharing today is this: yesterday morning before I hit the day, I was blessed with a beautiful view of the sky, of the sun rays bursting through the clouds.  That spoke to me.

This is what I posted, along with the picture: "May the sun rays break through the clouds. May the love, peace joy, hope, and strength of God prevail."

Last night as I pulled into the driveway, I caught a glimpse of a cloud formation that could be taken for a slightly bent and misshapen heart.  My heart is still in tack, albeit bent and misshapen.

There was a quote I saw in the middle of the day from the SoulCare project (from September 11) that nailed it for me.  It resonated with me.

Here is that quote: "Never shy away from opportunity and wholehearted living. Never be fearful of putting yourself out there. The courageous may encounter many disappointments, experience profound disillusionment, gather many wounds; but cherish your scars for they are the proud emblems of a truly phenomenal life. The fearful, cautious, cynical and self-repressed do not live at all. And that is simply no way to be in this world." ―Anthon St. Maarten

The quote reminded me to not shy away, to not be fearful from putting myself out there, to continue being courageous, no matter what.

No, I'm not giving up.  Yes, I do get frustrated when it seems there are obstacles after obstacles to share the love of Christ through the walls of the building into community, when turning outward with love seems like a task rather than part of the mission of following Christ, and when the focus is not on God's kingdom and trusting God to work in and through them.  Thankfully, it's really the Holy Spirit's work to do this stuff.  I am a vessel through which the Holy Spirit works.

Where I see obstacles, I am reminded that they are really opportunities; opportunities to continue to show the love of Christ and to share the mission that Christ gave, and to live, love, and lead as Christ did.

If you do see me on the side of the road one day selling boiled peanuts, stop by for a conversation, even if you don't like boiled peanuts.

Pressing on in the faith.

Blessings on your journey,

Debra

P.S.  In case you're wondering, I recognize that I don't always live, love, or lead like Christ. Thus, there are many obstacles to turn into opportunities daily for me in this adventurous journey.  I'm just trying to live it authentically.

When the retreat is over and the rubber meets the road, so to speak

I spent last week in a retreat focused on the way of Radical Compassion: loving God, loving others, and loving ourselves. It was the tip of the iceberg compared to what they do in their program, but it was great. Frank Rogers is a gifted speaker. He has two books out and I look forward to reading the one that arrived yesterday.

It was also great to be with and worship with spiritual directors and retreat leaders from around the country.

But, how does all that learning, training, and "being" translate into the real world?

So far, so good. But I know that the new shine will wear off, the fullness can deplete. It is an intentional moment by moment choice to live with compassion.

I sent an email this morning in which I typed "form". Autocorrect changed it to "former". I didn't catch it until afterwards. Normally, I would be less kind to myself. I don't like typographical errors.  Today, I let it go.

I went by the high school to find out what happened with a form I dropped off last month. The person said they saw it, but didn't know what to do with it.  No one had called. The person I spoke with on the day I left it didn't add a note. The form is slightly self evident.  Instead of becoming frustrated, however, I showed compassion and grace.

Then I called the Pediatrician office to inquire about the nutrition form that was supposed to be faxed in last month. We had received a reminder letter. Because of nut and peanut butter allergies, this is important. They found the form, sitting in the outbox. It had not been faxed. Today is the deadline. Grace and compassion reigned again.

To respond with grace and compassion consistently means that my tank needs to be full. I must be filling up at the Source of grace and compassion in order to offer it to myself and others.

I am grateful for last week's retreat and teaching.

When I royally mess up or situations out of my control occur, I hope to be quick to apply the new tools in my tool belt.

At the moment, I am finishing up a breakfast sandwich and an espresso at Starbucks before heading into the office. I was looking forward to all those extra stars that would be added to my account, until I realized that the promotional ended yesterday.  Oh well.

I decided to make it worth my while.....I needed breakfast anyway. It feels great sitting outside here in the sunshine. It is a pause moment.

I am grateful for opportunities to love God and love others as myself.

Blessings on your journey,

Debra