"Transformed Living, It's a Sacrifice"--Sermon from August 24, 2014 at New Salem UMC, Rising Fawn, GA

I am finally able to take some time to post the sermon from three weeks ago.  I don't know how far I'll get in posting "catch up"posts today.  Whether or not I will have time to post my 4 year anniversary blog post or not is yet to be seen.  It is a matter of timing and switching from one discipline (study, writing, exercising, silence, etc.) to another.

The written word of the sermon is never exactly what is spoken in the moment.  But it is typically a good idea of what the overall theme is/was.  In reading the sermon, you don't get the added comments and you do get the things that were left out during the sermon.  It's a different experience, yet hopefully and prayerfully there is something in the message to take away and reflect upon, at least for a moment or two.

A few thoughts and reflections prior to the sermon.

New Salem UMC in Rising Fawn, GA has two services, the first at 9am and the second at 11am.  It has been a while since I've had the opportunity to preach twice in one morning and I was looking forward to doing it.  I was also looking forward to being up on Lookout Mountain, one of my favorite spots, no matter where on that mountain I am.

I had a wonderful time of meeting new people that morning and interacting with folks who knew our worship leader at Burks UMC, Wil Martin.  It was a blessing to be there to worship with them and to share together.  I met some retired missionaries and spoke Spanish after the second service briefly with them.  ☺

The pictures at the bottom of the page are the visuals I used in the service.  You can picture them being used about the time they are mentioned in the service.  It may be hard to tell from the pictures themselves, but the pictures in the bags represent the cocoons.

This sermon fell the week after an intensive week of seminary on campus at Asbury Theological Seminary where I took Philosophy of Religion.  My prof shared a story about The Voyage of the Dawn Treader and that made it into the sermon.  I will include a link at the end of the post for a detailed version of the story. 

Interestingly, "transformation" was one of the themes I was living into throughout the summer.  I was on a team for a Chrysalis Flight (youth Emmaus) and we talked about transformation and growth throughout our team meetings.  Also, the July/August edition of Alive Now was all about transformation with  a butterfly and an empty cocoon on the front cover.    I thought I was just preaching the lectionary, but it turns out that the lectionary was preaching me.... working not just through me, but definitely in me throughout the entire summer.  I love how God works like that.  The theme of transformation was applicable in other areas of my circles too.

I don't know about you, your life, your ministry, etc. I don't know if or how this message will touch you or even relate to you.  Maybe the Holy Spirit has something in it for you.  If not you, maybe someone else.

Blessings on you and your journey,

Debra

"Transformed Living, It's a Sacrifice"

New Salem UMC

August 24, 2014

Romans 12:1-8

12I appeal to you therefore, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. ²Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God—what is good and acceptable and perfect. ³For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of yourself more highly than you ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. ⁴For as in one body we have many members, and not all the members have the same function, ⁵so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually we are members one of another. ⁶We have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us: prophecy, in proportion to faith; ⁷ministry, in ministering; the teacher, in teaching; ⁸the exhorter, in exhortation; the giver, in generosity; the leader, in diligence; the compassionate, in cheerfulness. 

LEADER: This is the Word of God for the people of God.

ALL: Thanks be to God.

As I read and studied this passage, I kept staying on verse 2: "be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God"  That is a key verse for this passage as everything hinges on it.  Without the transformation, we are not able to discern what is the will of God nor are we able to sufficiently use the gifts God has given us according to the grace given us.   

So, what is this transformation?  What does transformation mean?  Let's look at transformation and how this relates both to our gifts and to a sacrificial living.

The word transformation here is from the Greek "metamorphoō" and means to undergo a spiritual transformation as it is used here in Romans 12:2 and 2 Corinthians 3:18.  We get the English word  "metamorphosis" from this and we'll talk more about that later.  I know there is danger in throwing out Greek words in sermons, but I'm a language geek by trade, having taught Spanish and French for 24 years and just couldn't resist this time. 

The verse here in Romans tells us that we are to be transformed by the renewing of our minds.  How do we accomplish that?  [feedback??]  We could consider the means of grace, such as study, read the Scriptures, prayer, fellowship, gather for worship, fasting, journaling, etc.  There are classic means of grace and there are some practices that are just as ancient, but not always considered and there are modern ways, which may simply be variations on classic or ancient ways of doing things. 

For example, take reading the Scripture as a way to renew the mind.  You may read a daily verse, or a chapter, you may read from the Upper Room or another devotional.  You may listen to the Scripture on the radio or a DVD or an mp3 or online.  You may use some form of online Scripture resource to aid in your reading.  You may read the Scripture in a studious way or you may read it more in a sacred reading way, lectio divina, to see what the word has to say to you for that particular reading.  Regardless of the format or method, the Scripture has potential to transform our mind, as we allow it.

As you reflect on these various ways of transforming the mind, you may be more accustomed to some and practice them more regularly.  You may be introduced to a new way of transforming your mind by a practice you haven't considered.

The goal of our transformation is new life, a life from which we offer the gifts given to us uniquely back to the body of Christ.  The gifts given to us can be an entire different sermon and it's worth exploring if you're sure about your gifts.  We'll take a brief look at them now from verses 6 and 7: "⁶We have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us: prophecy, in proportion to faith; ⁷ministry, in ministering; the teacher, in teaching; ⁸the exhorter, in exhortation; the giver, in generosity; the leader, in diligence; the compassionate, in cheerfulness."   Gifts are just one part of the transformed life, but it does help to know that we are all uniquely gifted as different members of the body.  And, it helps to know what our giftedness is.  Spiritual gift inventories are a good way to figure these out.  You can also figure out some of these by listening to what others say to you.  For example, has anyone ever told you that you encourage them?  If you've heard that over and over, you might have the gift of encouragement, exhortation.  Ask a trusted friend what he/she thinks your gifts are if you're not sure.  Study the Scriptures for more references to spiritual gifts.  This isn't the only passage that mentions them.

Verse 1 tells us that we are to be a living sacrifice.  How does that fit with us being transformed?  Well, that's where the metamorphosis explanation comes in.  How many of you know about the cycle of the caterpillar and the butterfly?  I'm not a scientist, but this does interest me.  But because I'm not a scientist, I'm not going to explain this in scientific terms. 

Here's my explanation:  the caterpillar munches on leaves and grows bigger and stronger (visuals).  Then it makes its cocoon (chrysalis) and remains in there in the dark, waiting, while it is being transformed.  When the time is right, the new creation, the butterfly struggles to break open the chrysalis to get out.  We are told to not help the butterfly break out because it must do so on its own in order to strengthen its wings.  Then, upon becoming free, the butterfly's wings must first dry before it can fly. [visual throughout]

Much like the caterpillar and the butterfly, we go through transformational times in our lives.  Our cocoons, our times of waiting and darkness look much different, but they exist.  There are often struggles that strengthen us along the way and many times of waiting before we can fly.  Not knowing, the waiting, the struggles.... it is all a sacrifice.  The caterpillar gives its life in order to become a butterfly.  It may not realize the sacrifices nor the transformation that is about to occur, but the transformational process occurs nonetheless.

Just like the caterpillar, we must be willing to let go of what was (the former life) in order to live into the new life.  Sometimes we enter times of waiting and sacrifice more aware than the caterpillar.  At other times, we are thrust into the waiting and impending change because of illness, accidents, and other situations.  These transformational situations may not always be evident to us until we look back and recognize that we have indeed been transformed.  Yet, even if weren't fully aware of the transformational process, there usually is a time of giving something up and/or letting something go along the way.  So there is always an aspect of sacrifice, no doubt about it.  One that results in a transformed, changed life.

In The Voyage of the Dawn Treader in the Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis there is an example of the sacrifice of a transformed life in a scene between Eustace and Aslan.  Eustace was tired of being a dragon--the result of being selfish and stubborn-- and wanted to return to being a boy.  He was unsuccessful in tearing off his own dragon scales.  Aslan came and began to tear them off.  Eustace was scared.  It was painful.  But, the transformation was made complete.

Transformation is often painful because growth and change don't come easily.  But the pain endured for transformation is a worthwhile pain and leads to restoration and wholeness.

Bishop Rueben Job of the United Methodist Church says this about the transformed life in A Guide to Prayer For All Who Seek God:   

 "Living a transformed life is not possible on our own.  Most of us do not live up to the best we know how to live.  Deep within we know that there is room for improvement.  We can do better.  Connecting our desire to do and be better with God's amazing grace creates a partnership that leads to transformation.

     We know that living a transformed life means living at God's direction with grace-given capacity.  This is more than we can do on our own, and, in fact, living the transformed life does not mean trying harder.  It means trusting more and staying close to the only One who can make us more than we are. 

     As we learn to put our trust and faith in God, we become open and available to receive God's forming and transforming power in our own lives.  In our better moments we know that it is God at work within us that provides the transformation.  This is the day to claim God's presence and help as you live the transformed life."

--Rueben P. Job (141-142) A Guide To Prayer For All Who Seek God

This IS the day to claim God's presence and help as you live the transformed life.....

How will you live out your transformed self with the giftedness that God has graced you?

As the Holy Spirit continues to work in the renewing of your mind, may you await with eagerness the moment your wings are dry so that you can fly!

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, Amen!

Pictures of the church:

Pictures of the visuals used in the sermon:

the baby caterpillar ate the green leaf

the caterpillar grew

the caterpillar made its chyrsalis/cocoon

this hat contains both cocoons

the butterfly is preparing to emerge its darkness

the butterfly allows its wings to dry before it flies

A selfie taken between services in front of the church front doors:

LINKS TO ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:

The passage mentioned from The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

Blog post by Adam Powers-- "Pleasing Pain"
Blog post by Luma Simms-- "My Dragon Skin Torn Off"

Alive Now Transformation Reflection (June 30)
Alive Now Transformation Reflection (July 26)
Alive Now website (one of The Upper Room publications)

Living through the transitions, allowing my wings to dry...

April 4, 2013 (look for Chrysalis in top right quandrant, about 2 o'clock).

 

April 6, 2013-- emerged and letting the wings dry

My life continues to be one of ongoing transitions.  I think that is typical for us all along our journey.  Maybe it is more acute at times than others.

Having transitioned from being on the Academy journey to now being out of it, I'm in a "holding pattern" in some ways from that transition.  Likely because it is still so recent.  I'd say that I'm in the stage of having emerged from the chrysalis and allowing my wings to dry before I can fly.  And the image of the chrysalis and the butterfly that emerged during our last week will forever be etched in my memory because it was such a perfect and beautiful example of our journey.... ending, yet beginning.  It was an "accident" that one of the participants brought the chrysalis.  He had cut a rose from his garden to bring and only noticed the chrysalis upon arrival.  It became a sacred moment, a sacrament to me.... and to many.

My grandmother has recently been transferred to an assisted living facility.  This is a transition mainly for her I realize.  Yet, it is one for me as well.  I know that I am called to visit her weekly at her new place of residence.  This means a time of transition in my time management and daily life as I let go of some things to make room for her. 

I was blessed to have three grandmothers growing up.  And, I had special relationships with all three, in different ways.  This grandmother is now at a time and place where she recognizes me, yet sometimes forgets how I fit into the family puzzle.  Last week she asked if I was her niece as they were doing introductions at Citrus Social at the center.  I reminded her I was her grand-daugther.  It's okay with me.  I realized that I don't always know what piece of the puzzle I am in the family of God at times. ☺  Besides, we all fit, regardless of name, size, shape, etc.

This grandmother studied at Emory University and earned her Masters of Christian Education in 1962 after having raised her two daughters by herself for quite a few years.  She was involved in public education and had studied French.  In her earlier years she studied at the Teachers College in Statesboro (now Georgia Southern University).  She was a Stephens Minister in her church.  She was very involved in prayer and Bible Study.  I imagine I owe some thanks to her and her groups and friends for prayers lifted on my behalf over the years.  She showed me by example how to love "the other woman" and never spoke ill of my third grandmother.  That became important to me later in life when I went through things in my first marriage and then when I myself struggled.

So now as she enters a new phase of her life, it is time for me to give back to her.  I can give her my time and my presence.  She may not always know where I fit in, but she seems to recognize me and know me.  So far.  I don't know when that will change.  It doesn't matter.  I will walk this journey with her and with my mom and dad.  I will offer what I have.

Another transition I am going through is the laity/clergy transition.  This is one long transition!! ☺  In many ways I see it more as a merger and personally think that I have been "claity" for a while now.  I have been and will continue to be a bridge between the two.  Yet, I move more into some roles that are more one than the other.  One example for me is in the Emmaus community.  I worked a Women's Walk this past weekend.  I had the honor, privilege, and blessing to be an Assistant Lay Director [ALD] on this walk and to give one of the talks.  It was a wonderful weekend!  Even though I slipped on wet concrete and skinned my knee; even though I almost lost my voice a few times (maybe some would have liked that ☺);  even though a blood vessel popped in my left eyelid for some unknown reason and started bruising on Saturday; even though migraines came the morning of my talk....it was a tremendous weekend!!  I tried to remain as present and as poured out as possible so that God could work in and through me.  This was my last laity position and walk in our community.  I thought about it some, though I tried not to.  I had two community members that came up to serve meals mention it to me.  That was humbling and encouraging.  One simply said welcome into the new role in the community and another came by as I was eating a meal and said something to the effect of "we can call you pastor now".  Even though I am not quite to the ordained place yet, I am at a place (Certified Candidate) where I can be an Assistant Spiritual Director in the community.  I applied and my application was accepted.  I may not be asked for a while, but that's okay.  God will work it out for when I am to work a walk as an Assistant Spiritual Director (ASD).  I actually felt inside me that last April was my last laity walk.  God was preparing me.  But there was one more.  Why exactly?!?!  I don't know.  Was there one particular reason I was up there this weekend?!?!  I don't know.  I know that I was humbled, blessed, filled, emptied out, filled again, etc.  I know I was where I was supposed to be.  And, now.... I transition to a new place in the community.  I'm out of the chrysalis.  But my wings aren't quite dry yet.  I plan to be still and wait.... let them dry.  I will know when it's time to fly. 

What transitions are there along your journey?  How are you living into them?  Don't forget to allow your wings to dry. 

Be still and know that God will prompt you when it is time to fly.

Blessings on your journey,

Debra

If I Were A Butterfly...

Are you familiar with the song, "If I Were A Butterfly"?  I learned it when I was at camp, many moons ago.  It is also known as "The Butterfly Song".

Here are the lyrics: (I encourage you to check out their website!)

THE BUTTERFLY SONG (If I Were a Butterfly)Words and Music by Brian M. Howard

If I were a butterfly I'd thank you Lord for giving me wings If I were a robin in a tree I'd thank you Lord that I could sing If I were a fish in the sea I'd wiggle my tail and I'd giggle with glee But I just thank you Father for making me, me CHORUS For you gave me a heart and you gave me a smile You gave me Jesus and you made me your child And I just thank you Father for making me, me If I were an elephant I'd thank you Lord by raising my trunk If I were a kangaroo You know I'd hop right up to you If I were an octopus I'd thank you Lord for my fine looks But I just thank you Father for making me, me If I were a wiggly worm I'd thank you Lord that I could squirm If I were a fuzzy, wuzzy bear I'd thank you Lord for my fuzzy, wuzzy hair If I were a crocodile I'd thank you Lord for my great smile But I just thank you Father for making me, me Copyright © Mission Hills Music www.ButterflySong.com All rights reserved. (BMI) International copyright secured. CCLI - 35445 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The picture of the butterfly that I added in is a butterfly that I saw during my Academy week last week.  During one of the silence and solitude reflection times, I was sitting on a bench thinking.  I noticed the butterfly and attempted to get a couple of pictures. Just as the fun song brings to mind all sorts of images of nature and how we might be if we were them, the butterfly itself also brings to mind images of life and transformation to me. On my 8 1/2 hour drive home yesterday, I had lots of time to think.  One of the things I thought about was the butterfly, the butterfly song, metamorphosis, change, metanoia, When the Heart Waits by Sue Monk Kidd, etc.  I've written about some of these things before, but here are my thoughts from yesterday. One of the prayers I still have is for my "wings" to continue to heal.  My shoulders and shoulder blades aren't 100%, though they are MUCH better than they were 2 years ago.  The journey of healing through the two years had its ups and downs.  It wasn't easy.  There is still pain.  But, I didn't have to have surgery.  Frozen shoulders (adhesive capsulitis) is something I'll probably have to deal with for a while.  And for now, I need to continue a regimen of lots of stretching and strengthening.   So, though I don't have "wings", I identify with the butterfly. I think of the birth of the butterfly, coming out of the cocoon.  First, that butterfly has been in its cocoon, in the dark for an amount of time.  It has been in a waiting time.  But not a waiting without purpose time.  This time has been a time of transformation, change, metanoia.  What was once a caterpillar is no longer.  It is now something new.  Yet, it is still not ready to live into its fullness.  It must first get out of the cocoon, out of the darkness of tranformation and preparation. Getting out the cocoon isn't easy.  It is a struggle.  It is tiring.  Yet, it strengthens the wings of the butterfly and without it the butterfly's wings would not be strong enough to fly.  But even upon emerging with strengthened wings, the butterfly must wait a little longer to allow the wings to dry.  Then, the butterfly is ready to fly and live into what it has now become. It is a new song for the butterfly.   Just as it is for each of each when we emerge from the darkness of transformation and preparation.  Throughout the ongoing growth process in our lives, there is pain.  There can not be growth without growth pains.  Yet, we are able to sing our new song and live into who we are as we continue the cycle much like the butterfly. Casting Crowns has a song that declares "Let my life song sing to You".   That is the cry of my soul.  That my life song will sing to God.  That I will live into the life that God has created me to be.  That I will not fear the darknesses (because they are plural) of transformation and preparation, but will take them as part of the journey.  And, that when it is time to fly, that I won't be afraid to lift my wings and allow the current of the wind (the Spirit) to lift me up. So much of what I heard this past week spoke into who I am and who God has created me to be.  I am unfolding.  I am open.  I have been unfolding for several years now since I accepted the invitation to go deeper in 2006.  Yet, I learn a little more each year.  As I seek, as I study, as I live in community, both in the Academy and in my normal surroundings, God is continuing to help me get back to the center of who I am.  It's an exciting, albeit sometimes scary journey.  Frankly, I'd rather do without the darkness experiences for they are not typically pleasant.  However, I recognize that there is growth.  Just as the cycle of the butterfly cycles from one area of formation into another, so it is in life.  Christ's life, death, and resurrection is an example of this.  Orientation, disorientation, reorientation.  Over and over again as we continue to grow.  But, more on that a different time. My wings have dried.  It's time to lift them and fly. May there be a new song in your journey, time to fly, and awareness from the darkness of transformation and preparation, ~Debra

Struggling.... does it have a purpose?

Struggles, struggling...... Have you ever wondered if there is anything worthwhile in the process of struggling?  Maybe I should back up and ask, 'Have you ever struggled?'  I didn't really think I needed to ask the second question.  I'm guessing that most folks will answer 'yes' if not YES. 

So, what good are struggles?  (uh, oh... did I just say "good" in the same arena as "struggles"?)  Gulp, am I in trouble?  :)  I'm going to venture out on the edge of the trail here and say that I believe that struggles are good for us and that we can benefit from them.  I say 'can' because I believe it depends on our focus, our attitude, what we do with them.....

First of all, why am I even thinking about "struggles"?   Because they are a normal, natural part of life.  Everybody has them.  But, what caused my brain to click?

I just finished reading a book.  (Does that surprise you?)  The Unlikely Disciple:  A Sinner's Semester At America's Holiest University by Kevin Roose.  It was very insightful and interesting.  I learned quite a bit in reading it and recommend it. Kevin Roose openly and honestly shares his journey through this semester "abroad" experience.

Here's what got me thinking about "struggling".  Kevin is at the end of his semester and is talking with his campus mentor, Pastor Seth, about his belief in God.  Kevin's answer to where he was in his belief with God was this: "I'm struggling.  I don't know where I am.  I wish I did, but I don't." (284)  They continue their dialogue and Pastor Seth explains: "Listen, you're in a period of transition.  You're still struggling to find your spiritual identity, and there's no shame in that.  God doesn't make everything clear for us right away.  We have to engage our faith, wrestle with it, make it ours.  Otherwise, it's dead." (284)

Refreshing words!  From both..... it's refreshing for folks to say that they are struggling.  And, it's refreshing to hear from a spiritual advisor that there is no shame in struggling, in wrestling-- because there isn't.  Didn't Jacob wrestle with God? 

There is quite a bit in this selection that I like:  "period of transition", "struggling to find your spiritual identity", "no shame", "engage our faith", "wrestle with it", "Otherwise, it's dead." 

As I read this passage (and re-read it), I thought about the caterpillar, the chrysalis, and the butterfly. 

The caterpillar has to go through a time of transition in the chrysalis before it can become a butterfly.  (I'm keeping this simple.  I'm not a scientist. There are great details available even in children's books.  Check them out!) 

When the butterfly is ready to come out of the chrysalis, it must struggle to get out.  If someone cuts open the cocoon to "help" it, its wings won't become strong enough to fly and the butterfly will die.  So, therefore, the butterfly needs to struggle in order to become stronger, in order to live.  Wow!!

There is another nature example about a baby bird pecking its way out of its shell, but it's very similar in the outcome.

Struggle is GOOD for us.  It causes us to grow.  That doesn't mean that we enjoy it, have a good time, etc.  It simply means that we understand that there is a purpose to it-- our maturity, our growth.  Whether it is emotional, physical, psychological, mental or spiritual struggles.... there is potential for growth and maturity.

I say 'potential' because we can come through a time of struggle and not grow, not learn.  It depends on our actions, our responses and our reactions.  But, hopefully we are not trying to make this journey alone.  So when we are in times of struggles, our companions on the journey are there to encourage us, to walk with us, etc.  They are not there to get us out or to fix it for us, but rather to be our companions along the way. 

How do you see "struggles"?  Do you see them any differently now than before? 

It is my hope that any struggles you encounter along the journey will serve to strengthen and mature you.... and me....

May we wrestle through the struggles knowing that we are becoming more mature and stronger.

~Debra

Listening and waiting....then taking the next step.

How does one learn to listen?  How does one learn to wait? 

Testing the waters.  Trying and failing.  Trying and succeeding.  Just trying.  Taking that first step.  Experience.

A significant marker in my listening and waiting journey happened in the summer of 2006.  I was on a mission trip in Costa Rica.  We were staying at El Bambú in Puerto Viejo del Sarapiquí.  I had been feeling unsettled and unrest for a while and didn't know what it was.  One night, it struck me that I felt like I was being called to go deeper in my spiritual journey, in my relationship with God.  That was it.  There wasn't any "how to", "when", or "where" associated with this feeling.  As I shared this with my spouse, his response was: "Go with the flow."

We came home from the trip, I started back teaching at the local university, everything seemed "normal".  At some point, my elementary-school-aged daughter asked me to be more available to her.   Though I didn't fully understand, I felt led to "retire" from my teaching position effective at the end of the school year.  

I also felt the doors open to explore and I looked into taking classes online through a seminary in KY.   I thought I would test the waters and see if those classes might clarify something, anything to me.  After receving a Certificate in Christian Studies from Asbury Theological Seminary, I would say that those courses (through my professors, my fellow students, the books read, and the assignments) have helped grow in my journey.  They also helped me to discern three areas of passion:  discipleship, spiritual formation, and leadership.   Additionally, during that time I was able to come to peace with the fact that I don't have to be in a classroom to be a teacher.  I am a teacher.  It comes out naturally, whether I want it to or not.

Another option I had considered was pursuing an EDD in Educational Leadership at one of the institutions where I had worked and taken a few courses.  I applied.  I took the GRE again after having taken it 20 years ago.  I did well in my strength area, verbal.  I did not do well in the analytical area since I hadn't really used those skills since college.  I didn't make it to the interviews.  Though disappointed, I finally came to realize I was already accepted into a graduate program and I should just finish it.

There have been many times of listening and waiting.  I'm not always aware of them.  Meaning I don't always listen well nor do I wait well.  I struggle sometimes to find meaning when I've listened, waited, responded, obeyed.... and then SLAM! the door has closed without satisfactory explanation.   What I'm learning is that I don't always have to have the answers.  sigh.  Someone smarter and more knowledgeable than me has things under control.  Things may not turn out the way I wanted them or thought they would, but things will turn out. 

Recently, I read Sue Monk Kidd's book: When the Heart Waits: Spiritual Direction for Life's Questions.  This book helped me to verbalize the waiting period and to better understand it.  A caterpillar cannot grow if it doesn't spend time in the chrysalis.  It is part of the process.  And, once it is ready to emerge, the butterfly must struggle in order for its wings to sufficiently strengthen to prepare to fly. 

Process.  Struggle.  Now, who said these would be part of the journey, the adventure?  The better question might be: who didn't say these would be part of the journey?  Because, they are.  In order to fly like the butterfly, we do have to go through the dark times of waiting and then the times of struggle.  However, to fly like the butterfly it is worth it.  At least to me.

One last listening and waiting example.  I had some opportunities this summer for intentional listening.  I went to two gatherings back to back.  While at each, I listened intentionally and intently to what God might be telling me through the speakers, the songs, other people, etc.  I had a breakthrough on my last night at the second gathering and was able to get at least a glimpse of what I've been trying to see.  What I realized is that I want to be a guide for others on their journey.  What I wrote in my journal is this: "I picture a guide leading a hike through the wilderness. That guide is me."  I think I've been doing this in many senses already.  But, what I'm feeling is that now it's time to do it more intentionally.  Some might argue that I'm fairly intentional about it now. :)

One thing I'm going to do to spend some more time listening and to test the waters is to attend a 5-day academy sponsored by the Upper Room in October.    It felt like the next step.  It will be an awesome experience.  I don't know where it will lead.  I don't have to.  I'm just looking forward to the opportunity.

A word of caution on listening:  listening doesn't always happen in a vacuum.  It often helps to have folks around you to help you filter out what you hear.  Just as we don't always see our strengths and weaknesses and others do, others help us discern in the listening process.  

Thank you to my "hiking buddies" that are on this journey with me!
~Debra