Are you familiar with the song, "If I Were A Butterfly"? I learned it when I was at camp, many moons ago. It is also known as "The Butterfly Song".
Here are the lyrics: (I encourage you to check out their website!)
If I were a butterfly
I'd thank you Lord for giving me wings
If I were a robin in a tree
I'd thank you Lord that I could sing
If I were a fish in the sea
I'd wiggle my tail and I'd giggle with glee
But I just thank you Father for making me, me
CHORUS
For you gave me a heart and you gave me a smile
You gave me Jesus and you made me your child
And I just thank you Father for making me, me
If I were an elephant
I'd thank you Lord by raising my trunk
If I were a kangaroo
You know I'd hop right up to you
If I were an octopus
I'd thank you Lord for my fine looks
But I just thank you Father for making me, me
If I were a wiggly worm
I'd thank you Lord that I could squirm
If I were a fuzzy, wuzzy bear
I'd thank you Lord for my fuzzy, wuzzy hair
If I were a crocodile
I'd thank you Lord for my great smile
But I just thank you Father for
making me, me
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The picture of the butterfly that I added in is a butterfly that I saw during my Academy week last week. During one of the silence and solitude reflection times, I was sitting on a bench thinking. I noticed the butterfly and attempted to get a couple of pictures.
Just as the fun song brings to mind all sorts of images of nature and how we might be if we were them, the butterfly itself also brings to mind images of life and transformation to me.
On my 8 1/2 hour drive home yesterday, I had lots of time to think. One of the things I thought about was the butterfly, the butterfly song, metamorphosis, change, metanoia, When the Heart Waits by Sue Monk Kidd, etc. I've written about some of these things before, but here are my thoughts from yesterday.
One of the prayers I still have is for my "wings" to continue to heal. My shoulders and shoulder blades aren't 100%, though they are MUCH better than they were 2 years ago. The journey of healing through the two years had its ups and downs. It wasn't easy. There is still pain. But, I didn't have to have surgery. Frozen shoulders (adhesive capsulitis) is something I'll probably have to deal with for a while. And for now, I need to continue a regimen of lots of stretching and strengthening. So, though I don't have "wings", I identify with the butterfly.
I think of the birth of the butterfly, coming out of the cocoon. First, that butterfly has been in its cocoon, in the dark for an amount of time. It has been in a waiting time. But not a waiting without purpose time. This time has been a time of transformation, change, metanoia. What was once a caterpillar is no longer. It is now something new. Yet, it is still not ready to live into its fullness. It must first get out of the cocoon, out of the darkness of tranformation and preparation.
Getting out the cocoon isn't easy. It is a struggle. It is tiring. Yet, it strengthens the wings of the butterfly and without it the butterfly's wings would not be strong enough to fly. But even upon emerging with strengthened wings, the butterfly must wait a little longer to allow the wings to dry. Then, the butterfly is ready to fly and live into what it has now become.
It is a new song for the butterfly. Just as it is for each of each when we emerge from the darkness of transformation and preparation. Throughout the ongoing growth process in our lives, there is pain. There can not be growth without growth pains. Yet, we are able to sing our new song and live into who we are as we continue the cycle much like the butterfly.
Casting Crowns has a song that declares "Let my life song sing to You". That is the cry of my soul. That my life song will sing to God. That I will live into the life that God has created me to be. That I will not fear the darknesses (because they are plural) of transformation and preparation, but will take them as part of the journey. And, that when it is time to fly, that I won't be afraid to lift my wings and allow the current of the wind (the Spirit) to lift me up.
So much of what I heard this past week spoke into who I am and who God has created me to be. I am unfolding. I am open. I have been unfolding for several years now since I accepted the invitation to go deeper in 2006. Yet, I learn a little more each year. As I seek, as I study, as I live in community, both in the Academy and in my normal surroundings, God is continuing to help me get back to the center of who I am.
It's an exciting, albeit sometimes scary journey. Frankly, I'd rather do without the darkness experiences for they are not typically pleasant. However, I recognize that there is growth.
Just as the cycle of the butterfly cycles from one area of formation into another, so it is in life. Christ's life, death, and resurrection is an example of this. Orientation, disorientation, reorientation. Over and over again as we continue to grow. But, more on that a different time.
My wings have dried. It's time to lift them and fly.
May there be a new song in your journey, time to fly, and awareness from the darkness of transformation and preparation,
~Debra |
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