Transgender Day of Visibility 2023

I wrote a short post this morning on my social media sites:

"Today is transgender day of visibility.  #tdov #tdov2023 #tdov2023🏳️‍⚧️

We need to see our transgender siblings. Each person is a  human being with rights.

May we begin to learn about people who are different than ourselves rather than remaining ignorant, becoming fearful, or creating laws to suppress them. May we love and treat others as we desire to be loved and treated.

To the trans community: I stand with you-- in the work place, in health care, in schools, in faith communities, etc.

You are seen, you are accepted, you are loved.

For anyone seeking to learn more about transgender people, here is one link on transequality issues that offers explanations: https://transequality.org/issues/resources/understanding-transgender-people-the-basics

There is much more available on GLSEN, PFLAG, and other sites. I put together some links and information in this post a bit back: https://alienadventurejourney.blogspot.com/2023/03/ongoing-learning-thanks-pilgrim-for.html"

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I wore my ally shirt today to lunch, to donate blood, and to Ollie's. I had a few conversations about it.

I posted a TikTok video in support of this day and the transgender community. 

May we continue to create spaces for all!

Rev. Deb

Ongoing learning- thanks, Pilgrim, for the Gender Diversity Forum/Workshop!

                                                     

Yesterday I attended a forum/workshop on gender diversity at Pilgrim Church in Chattanooga. I learned several things from the presenter (Charity Muse) and I learned some things from my experience of my chosen t-shirt.

I will share what I learned yesterday in this blog post, plus some links from the forum/workshop.

Where to begin?

As a linguist (by definition, a person skilled in foreign languages and a person who studies linguistics), it surprised me that I was surprised to learn that the language usage for LGBTQ+ and gender diversity is fluid, changing. What I mean is that I should not have been surprised. I should know better. Before I get on to myself for "shoulding myself" I will stop. But that caught my attention yesterday. 

Language matters. The language we use matters. Because language matters, we need to keep learning and be willing to ask questions, etc.

For example, there are terms that used to be used years ago, but they are no longer appropriate now.

One such term is gender re-assignment surgery. A more appropriate term is gender affirming surgery.

Another example that caught my attention is the term "folx". It is a term for "folks". It is meant to be inclusive and uses the "x" in solidarity with the Latinx community. What I learned is that much language change starts out on the west coast and makes its way east. Often, terms have been edited or dropped by the time we just started using them this far east and south. For the term "folx" for example, it turns out that "folks" was already fairly inclusive and not as "bad" as some initially thought.

There are vocabulary lists for reference and to learn from, available at different sites.  One is 

• The Safe Zone Project: LGBTQ+ Vocabulary/Glossary.
• Human Rights Campaign: Glossary of Terms.
• The Translanguage Primer

Here is a good chart for LGBTQ inclusive Do/Don't for terms/vocabulary.

One of the first words in a vocabulary list is "ally".  What is an ally? From the Safe Zone project definition, an ally is: 

ally /“al-lie”/ – noun : a (typically straight and/or cisgender) person who supports and respects members of the LGBTQ community.  We consider people to be active allies who take action on in support and respect.

What does it take to be an ally? Here is a link from The Trevor Project: Guide to Being an Ally to Transgender and Non-Binary Young People. 

Being an ally is not always easy. Yet, more difficult than being an ally is being dismissed or despised for who and how you were created to be. I live in the state of Tennessee. It has been fairly safe over the years for non-white, non-heterosexual, non-English speaking people. However, things are getting worse, going backwards quickly to the early 1900s.  Fear and ignorance have raised their ugly heads to bring hatred and cruelty to the surface once again, creating difficulty for those who are different and in the eyes of the law makers, seemingly, not worthy of living. The slate of hate that is being passed in the state of Tennessee that is geared toward the transgender community only sets things back. Where people had access to healthcare and treatment, they are now considered illegal activities. Do law makers really think that gender diversity is a new thing? It isn't. The existence of transgender people go back centuries in the world and go back hundreds of years in the United States. 

Here are some links that show the history of transgender people: 

National Geographic article on How Historians are Documenting the Lives of Transgender People

Transgender History in the United States (PDF by Genny Beemyn)

What about attempting to understand a transgender person or the transgender community?

One of the activities we did in the forum/workshop yesterday was extremely helpful, albeit difficult. It was a privilege activity, the cisgender edition. (If the word "cisgender" is unknown, check out one to the vocabulary links above.) There were 21 items on our list and we could only choose 4 out of the 21. Four. That's all we were allowed. 

I invite you to look at any one of the links below, as they are similar to the Privilege Activity I did.

• The Cisgender Privilege Checklist
• Cisgender Privilege
• Cisgender Privilege Checklist with Gender Unicorn Sheet

A helpful article: Human Rights Campaign: Understanding the Transgender Community

Some of the graphics shared yesterday came from TSER-- Trans Student Resources. 

As I look at their page currently, here are a couple of graphics that I want to share:

Gender Grammar

5 Things You Should Know about Trans People

I wasn't sure I would be able to make it yesterday to the Gender Diversity forum/workshop. We spent the weekend away, celebrating our anniversary and I wasn't sure we would make it back in time. But we did, so I signed up last minute and attended in person.

I am familiar with Pilgrim Church, UCC. That's where PFLAG was held pre-pandemic. It hasn't resumed post-pandemic just yet. I have also attended there during Pride Weed for worship. I chose an affirming t-shirt, one of Naked Pastor's designs to wear, as it fit the theme:

Wearing it at the church was easy. There were like-minded people there who showed up for the educational opportunity. Even so, I prepared myself to explain the heart-shaped island with Jesus hugging the transgender sheep. 1 John 4:8- God is love.

I decided to go for a walk on the Tennessee Riverwalk on my way home, to one of my favorite walking spots... the bug park. I like it because I can "go down to the river to pray" and I enjoy the playground areas too.

Here is where I learned about myself a little more.

I realized that my t-shirt targeted me in public, if anyone knew what it represented and/or understood it. As I understood that, I was more cognizant of my surroundings as I walked. As I was more aware, I realized how much privilege I have as a white cisgender female. Even wearing my transgender t-shirt. Though I may have felt a tad concerned in my t-shirt, I only understood maybe 1% of what it feels like to be seen and be concerned how others might treat you differently for their perception of you. 

It made me think. It was a cause for a pause. 

I have a stack of LGBTQ+ ally t-shirts. I don't wear them as often as I used to since I'm not currently serving a Reconciling Ministry Network Church. However, I'm not afraid to wear them.

They can be a good conversation starter. I hope so.

I hope to continue my learning, my advocacy, my ally-ship.

And, I hope that others might be willing to learn from what I have learned.

I don't know when Pilgrim will offer their next "Journey with Pilgrim" conversation, but I do know that there is a conversation coming up this Saturday (March 11th at 10 am) in the Holston Conference: Next Conversations.  Check it out.

Thanks for sharing this adventurous journey with me, 

Rev. Deb

Prayer-- Servants to ventures of which we cannot see

I am reading my way through Walking the Labyrinth: A Place to Pray and Seek God by Travis Scholl.

On page 92, this prayer caught my attention, as it reminded me of Thomas Merton's prayer:

O God, you have called your servants to ventures of which we cannot see the ending, by paths as yet untrodden, through perils unknown. Give us faith to go out with good courage, not knowing where we go, but only that your hand is leading us and your love supporting us, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Scholl refers to this prayer as an evening prayer and a "prayer spoken at the edge of darkness." (92)

The edge of darkness could also be named the unknown. Words such as "we cannot see the ending," "paths as yet untrodden," "perils unknown," "not knowing where we go"... these words are likely what remind me of Thomas Merton's prayer (I have posted it often on this blog.)

Upon searching for the prayer, it is found in Lutheran worship books, yet has an Anglican history. It has been used in graduation settings. It has been put to music.

It caught my attention because the UMC is in that place of unknown, yet trusting God's leading.

Additionally, as a parent and an ally, I am in that place of unknown, yet trusting God's leading as the state of Tennessee continues its slate of hate bills toward drag queens, transgender, non-binary, and LGBTQ+. 

So, I pray.

O God, you have called your servants to ventures of which we cannot see the ending, by paths as yet untrodden, through perils unknown. Give us faith to go out with good courage, not knowing where we go, but only that your hand is leading us and your love supporting us, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

And I put prayer into action. I keep up with the Tennessee Equality Project and other places to know what is going on. I send in my voice to legislation. 

What will my next action steps be? That is still a matter of prayer.

As I pray, I listen. I make time to be still. May Love speak. May Love win.

Peace, be still. 

Listen. 

Love.

Rev. Deb

Curiosity as a spiritual practice

Me, heading to Costa Rica on Feb 3, 2023-- curious what it would be like after 11 years.

Curiosity led me around the corner of the parsonage to find this beauty at the Pital Church!

Curiosity as a spiritual practice?!?!

You may be asking yourself if that is truly "a thing".

Well, I was CURIOUS, so I started doing some research recently and LO and BEHOLD (what a great expression!), it is!

Not only is it a spiritual practice, but Albert Einstein calls curiosity "holy".  He writes this:

"The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but to be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity."

"Old Man's Advice to Youth: 'Never Lose a Holy Curiosity'". Life magazine, p. 64, May 02, 1955.

Dealing with Mystery, the unknown, it seems normal to be curious and therefore to have a holy curiosity. One of my favorite authors on the unknown is Thomas Merton. His prayer on the unknown from Thoughts in Solitude has helped me live into holy curiosity before I knew it was a spiritual practice.

"My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope that I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone."

Asking questions is good; it is normal; it is holy.

We might even learn something new.

We will likely learn something new.

We can learn from so many things and people-- those who are different from us-- younger, older, from different places, those who are of different faiths, those who don't look like us or sound like us, even those who follow a different political party.

Yes, I believe we can learn from one another if we listen to one another, share our stories, and keep a holy curiosity.

We can learn from the marginalized, the oppressed, the unwanted, the ostracized. Who are those people in your community, in your state, in your country? Has that person ever been you?

In my state (and in many states right now), the transgender, non-binary community is being ostracized as bill are being written and passed against them. This matters to me. It matters to me on several levels--1-- on a human level, how other humans are being treated; 2-- on a faith level-- I don't believe it's how Jesus would treat these humans; and 3-- on the parental level.

I wonder where holy curiosity is among the legislature? Do people want to get to know their transgender and non-binary siblings? Do they want to hear their stories or is there something to the "difference" that keeps people in the legislature from seeking information to understand? Could ignorance and fear of the other be part of the barrier? That's where holy curiosity can come in-- getting to know 'the other'. With the bills that are in legislation, it feels that those on capitol hill have no understanding nor desire to understand what transgender and non-binary people experience.

They could attempt understanding. There is good science and research available for those who seek to learn and understand. There is information on gender affirming health care. The two links below show the importance for transgender health care. I am not going to get into all the statistics here about how gender affirming health care is life saving, but I wish and hope that legislature would have a holy curiosity toward the topic and would recognize that taking away gender affirming healthcare is anything but healthy. (The two links below are WPATH and WHO.)

WPATH-- World Professional Association for Transgender Health

WHO-- World Health Organization on gender incongruence and transgender health

How, you might ask, have I arrived to be here, to be someone that is open to listen to others?

In some ways, it started when I was you and I got to know all sorts of people. Camp played a role in it for me as well. As campers, we were all equal. It didn't matter who we were during the year or where we were from, etc.-- at camp, we were campers. Now, we did get into some big tribal/club competition and that mattered. :) In high school and in college I made friends with people of various pigmentation. In college I travelled to Spain and Mexico and saw the world from a different lens.

As I have traveled my faith pilgrimage over the years, I have met all sorts of people with deep faith in different places. 

I have met many LGBTQ+ persons of deep faith, those who follow Christ and those of other faith traditions and backgrounds. 

Holy curiosity to ask questions and to listen has helped me get to know "the other" rather than dismissing them simply because of differences or not fitting what I had been taught.

There is much room for mystery and the unknown, allowing growth and change to what I thought I knew and what I had been taught. As I remain open to the Holy Spirit who continues to teach me (as Jesus said in John 14:26--"The Companion, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you everything and will remind you of everything I told you.")

A few articles on the spiritual practice of curiosity:

The Spiritual Practice of Being Curious by Jean Wise

The Spiritual Practice of Being Curious 2 by Jean Wise

Holy Curiosity as a Way to think about effective listening

As I am curiously exploring curiosity as a spiritual practice and what it means to listen effectively and to have a "holy curiosity", here are some of the things I plan to practice:

• keep and open heart and mind toward others
• practice active listening
• ask open-ended questions
• allow curiosity to guide

I won't get it right all the time. Like any practice, it takes practice.

I look forward to exploring curiosity more.

May it be an adventurous journey!

Rev. Deb

A previous post on being curious:

Embracing Soul Care-- Be Curious! (May 31, 2018)