Qi-gong with Karen-- a new practice for me

Coming into Residency 3 for the Spiritual Direction program here at Columbia Theological Seminary, there were some things that I expected to learn, such as discernment. That was the theme for the week and the focus of our readings and videos as we came into this week. I knew that I would be learning more about the practice of spiritual direction in resources and hands-on real time experience.  What I didn't know is that our body connection would be the practice of Qi-gong. 

I have much to process going forward and I'm not sure what I'll share and not share. However, I do want to share a bit about this Tai Chi Qi-Gong with Karen Soo. We did the video below every morning. Today, we have evaluations prior to last session. I decided to do the practice on my own prior to my evaluation time.

Karen moves at a slow pace, enough to follow her well.  There are song birds in the background. If that bothers you, turn off the sound. But, the sound of song birds has a calming effect on us as we recognize that if birds are singing, they feel safe and secure. That's cool!

Doing these exercises, breath work and stretching are a large part of it.  You breathe in (inhale) and breathe out (exhale) in a rhythm. As you work through this, it is calming.

I learned that this has much to do with the autonomic nervous system and the polyvagal theory. I look forward to reading Deb Dana's book Anchored to learn more.

Going back to Karen and this Qi-gong practice, my goal is to see how it becomes a part of my practices and how that draws me nearer to the heart of God.

If you'd like to learn more about Qi-gong, check this out: Qi-gong: What you need to know.

I invite you to try Karen's video. If you do, I invite you to share your experience in the comments. Also, I'm open to more conversation.

Right now, I need to head to my assessment meeting. :)

Life continues to be an adventurous journey. 

Rev. Debra

Stretching and growing

It's an ongoing learning and growing journey for me, this faith stuff.  Part of the learning and growing process has included unlearning and letting go.  Though that has been going on for a while, I saw a quote today that my cousin David had posted by Ramana Maharshi that resonated: "There will come a time when one will have to forget all that one has learned."  I'm not familiar with this person, but I have heard this stated by others and agree that there is an unlearning that becomes necessary in our lives.  We come to a point in which we need to unlearn in order to learn.  Must we forget all that we have learned?  Likely not, but I think I get the idea.  

What is one thing I've had to unlearn in my life?  Racism.  Whether it was implicit or explicit, I've had to forget what I learned and learn that it's not okay to tell jokes that demean anyone. 

Do I always get it right?  No, I mess up and say the wrong thing(s) still in a variety of situations.  Part of that is because of things I've heard and learned at deep levels.  Even when I try to do and say what is right, there is the other lurking underneath.  The bottom line is that I'm human.  I seek to learn and grow into a more holy and just human, but there are times when I'm simply not.

As I continue to learn and grow, beliefs have been another area of forgetting, unlearning, and learning anew.  There are things I learned along the way that don't add up anymore.  This is not an easy process.  When something you believe no longer fits or works and you are forced to rethink and change paradigms, it causes uneasiness.  Why?  First of all, because it is change.  Change from what you've been taught and what you've been living for a while.  Secondly, because if that is no longer functional or working, then what is?  Paradigm shifts are risky in that they shake things up.  There is no longer a status quo.  But risk pays off.  It is okay for cracks to happen in beliefs.  Some things stay and other things may go.

If we are willing to go through the process of learning, stretching, and growing, then our faith muscles will become stronger.  The foundation of our faith will not necessarily be shaken because we ask questions, doubt, or even throw off some beliefs.  I say "necessarily" because for some people, their faith has been shaken.  If I were to be honest, I imagine my faith has been shaken at times too.  But, it has remained.  

This summer, Frank Rogers stretched me in the week he spoke to us at the Fellowship of United Methodist Spiritual Directors and Retreat Leaders / Hearts on Fire retreat about compassion in the way of Jesus.  I bought his latest book (Compassion in Practice: the Way of Jesus) so that I could revisit some of that at a later time.  

My time in the 2 Year Academy was a time of stretching and growing as I read books and heard from faculty in that time period.  Some of it stretched me a little and some of it stretched me lots. 

Right now I'm reading Brian McLaren's The Great Spiritual Migration: How the World's Largest Religion is Seeking a Better Way to Be Christian.  I've only read through chapter 2 so far, but there has been some gentle stretching and growing.

In chapter 1, McLaren talks about beliefs not being the essential part of Christianity.  The essence of our faith is more than statements, lists, things observed, etc.  Beliefs are not the point of Christianity.  In chapter 2, McLaren begins to talk about what matters more: love and compassion, as lived out by Jesus.  Galatians 5:6-- "The only thing that matters is faith expressing itself in love"  Hmm.... what does it mean to live that out?  McLaren notes that for Jesus, "In story after story and without a single exception, we see that the driving motivation in Jesus's life is love." (44)  If we are to follow that example, what would it look like?  

Another thing that caught my attention in the book from chapter 1 was that McLaren spoke about his crisis of belief by a palo verde tree one day.  He writes, "I was standing in front of a palo verde tree in the amber sunlight when suddenly my thinking cracked open and I fell through the crack into a deeper level of reflection." (23)  When I read that, it made me think of something Jerry Webber had shared at one of our 2 Year Academy sessions.  He wrote this short, yet insightful poem:

"My Life Cracks Open"

My life cracks open

I stand in it

careful not to run.

You see, when life cracks open, the first response (for me typically) over the years has been to run, to get the heck out of dodge (so to speak).  Yet, in more recent years, I am learning to stand in the crack, to stand in the chaos.  I am standing to see what I can learn and what the next visible step might be.  

It may be uncomfortable, but it's okay.  

A boiled egg eventually must be cracked open if one is going to have deviled eggs or egg salad.  

The cocoon must crack open in order for the butterfly to emerge.  When it emerges, it is no longer the same as it was when it entered the cocoon, at least on the outside.  It has gone through a transformation.  Its essence, its being is still the same on the inside.

That's how my faith is these days.  The essence of my faith isn't changing.  The foundation remains based on the One who came and lived among us and who told us about the greatest commandments to love God and love one another as ourselves.  

McLaren notes, "If we are to be truly Christian, it makes sense to turn to Jesus for the answer." (42)  It does, doesn't it?!?!  "Of the many radical things said and done by Jesus, his unflinching emphasis on love was most radical of all.  Love was the greatest commandment, his prime directive-- love for God, for self, for neighbor, for stranger, for alien, for outsider, for outcast, and even for enemy, as he himself modeled." (42)

Like I said, I've just started the book, but I look forward to reading the rest of it and seeing what McLaren has to say.  

Have you experienced any cracking open in your life, in your beliefs?  

How are you stretching and growing?

Blessings on your journey, 

Debra

Reflections from Christ the King, Reign of Christ Sunday (part I)

Yesterday was Christ the King / Reign of Christ Sunday.  I was privileged to have the opportunity to speak at my home church (Burks UMC in Hixson, TN), 3 times--two Traditional services and one Contemporary service.  It was a great experience for me and a relief to be on this side of it.  Why a relief?  Because I made it.  It was one of those risky, scary steps of faith and obedience that I took.  I'm thinking there were others taking risky steps of faith in allowing me to do it as well. ☺  I'm grateful for the Mentored Ministry class I'm taking this semester that encouraged such an opportunity and even more grateful that my mentor was willing to allow me to pursue it.

It was the largest congregation I had ever been in front of for preaching.  I have been in front of this congregation before in the Traditional service to read Scripture, the Affirmation, help with the offering and pray.  But, those are all short-term activities.  Preaching lasts a little longer.   Was I nervous?  Yes.  Nervous from the day my mentor and I discussed it.  Nervous like up on the trapeze platform again or on the edge of the rock formation about to rappel off.  This was risky!  But, I took the first step or leap.  And, I'm glad I did. 

As I've shared before, I never planned to be a teacher.  Professors in college recommended me for a Teaching Assistantship at SUNY Stony Brook.  The very first day that I was in the classroom, it felt right; it fit.  I grew into becoming a better teacher over the course of the 24 years.  I made lots of mistakes along the way, but it was me and I was in the right place.

I have spoken at other churches.  My very first time was at Christ Church in Port Jefferson Station on Long Island.  It was my last Sunday there, as it turned out.  The pastor had long before planned to be on vacation and had asked me as a Lay Speaker to do pulpit supply.  At the time we didn't know that I would be moving back south.  "Are You Available?" was the title of my first sermon.  Since then, I have spoken maybe two handfuls of times (including yesterday's 3 times).  Each time, it has felt good and right.  But, there was something yesterday, during that 3rd time, during the Contemporary service, that clicked and felt very right.  Just like teaching felt. 

That is exciting and scary as all get out to me.  On one hand, I want to explore that and see where it leads.  On the other hand, I want to bury that sucker deep down because it scares the heeby jeebies out of me.  (Heeby jeebies is a colloquialism-- apologies to the many foreign readers.  I am not sure of a better expression here.)

I received some insightful and encouraging feedback both yesterday and today.  I have lots of room to grow in this area, in both my preparation and delivery.  Just as I had lots of room to grow in my teaching from the time I first stepped into the classroom.

I'm not claiming to know where I'm headed yet.  I'm not even claiming that I clearly see a new piece to the puzzle.  All I'm saying is that this is something that I enjoy and I might very well be cut out for it.  I'm leaving it in Someone else's hands still.

My parents came up from Dalton, GA to hear me.  That was a very cool and pleasant surprise.  My mom heard me back in 1989 when I spoke on Long Island.  My dad had never heard me speak.  It meant the world to me that they would drive up the road to support me and hear whatever it was that I might have to say. 

Besides my parents coming, there were a few other things that happened yesterday morning prior to me preaching.  Of those, the biggest two are indebted to a sister in Christ who was preparing for this day and praying for all of those in the service and the congregation.  One was seeing the prayer card she had written out for the day and seeing the crown of thorns in the middle.  She reacted when I walked in the door with a crown of thorns as well.  That was a God thing for me.  The second was seeing the quote for the day in the Green prayer book called A Guide to Prayer for All Those Who Seek God.  It's the one Guide book I didn't have yet, so I hadn't read what it said for Sunday.  The Blue and Red had some good quotes, but my breath was taken away as I read what was in the Green book.  This prayer guide is edited by Rueben Job.  Here is what she shared with me:

"We began the seasons of the church year with anticipation, and we end the seasons of the church year declaring a certainty. In Advent we waited for the needed and longed-for definitive and ultimate self-disclosure of God in the birth of Jesus of Nazareth. On Reign of Christ Sunday we celebrate the fulfillment of the biblical revelation of God in Christ.

     Once again the church has listened to, reflected upon, rehearsed in worship, and tried to live in daily experience the redemption story. We come away from this last Sunday of the church year soaked to the core in the revelation of God in Christ. For us, as for those first disciples, there can be no turning back. Here in the light of Christ's triumphant presence we find our voice and declare once again, Jesus Christ is Lord of all and shall reign as Lord in my life. So committed, we are ready to face every eventuality of life because we now know the One in whom our life is found, redeemed, and kept secure.  Our radical trust is in the One who is completely trustworthy (2 Tim. 1:72). Life in Christ is good and complete." (A Guide to Prayer for All Those Who Seek God, Rueben Job, page 406.)

This grabbed my attention because of what the sermon held within it, and the title: "Does God Rain?".

Wow!  Another God-thing.

Not only am I grateful to my mentor for this opportunity, but for all of those who prayed for me, near and far, and for those who stayed awake during the sermon. ☺ [That's what my daughter prayed for when she went off to Kidzone.... she lifted me up in prayer... that no one would fall asleep during the sermon.  That was probably a good thing too as I wasn't as lively and interactive in that first service.]  I'm thankful for all the kind comments and expressions of how folks were moved to action or what stood out to them or that they were able to clearly understand me.  One comment was something to the effect that they support me in my calling.  That one scared me!!  It caused me to back up a little bit and remind them that I wasn't fully sure of what that calling is/was.... so they edited it to say that they supported me no matter where or how God is calling me.  Whew!!  You see, I still resist Christ the King... it is scary to say "yes", to follow and obey.  Even if it's only for a 3 month position while someone goes out of town, right?!?!  (hehe ☺)  [Actually, I shouldn't put that in here because if the right person reads this, I'll be held accountable and reminded that at least she submitted and said "yes".]

I've said "yes" to alot of things over the past year.  I've told God "okay" as God has brought things into my path and asked me whether or not I would accept these gifts of inheritance that were offered to me.  I have shared in past blogs the things I've said "yes" to, even after my "arguing" and "wrestling" with God.  I don't know where any of those things will lead.  All I know is that I have a choice whether to accept them or not.  The outcome is not up to me.  It is up to God.  At each crossroad, I have had to decide whether or not I would accept and live into what I felt was being asked of me or reject it.

And, truthfully, the reason I get scared today?  I'm there again.  Can't I get a break around here?  Whew!  This growing stuff is stretching me a little thin here.  I need one of those "Stretch Armstrong" dolls... if anyone knows what I'm talking about..... but, writing about that is just putting off the inevitable.

The answer is:  Yes, Lord, yes.  Whew.  I said it.  Now that I've accepted it, maybe God will let me rest a little.... maybe?!?!?  Just in case it's not clear, I'm saying yes into living in to my preacher me, whatever that means and whatever that is to be.

What is God asking you to answer?  How is God stretching you?  Are you willing to answer "yes"?

Keep on pressing on... this journey is an awesome adventure!

~Debra ☺

P.S. I will post the sermon in the next day or two.