Yesterday was my first Ash Wednesday in the new appointment at St. Elmo UMC. I was hoping to be able to offer "ashes to go" again this year in Spanish, "cenizas para el camino", but February has been a rough month for me and I'm just getting my voice back stronger here at the end. Though I wasn't able to do the extra ashes this year, I was able to plan and do a regular Ash Wednesday service for St. Elmo UMC for Wednesday evening.
Planning the service was different this year, as it was an evening service and entirely Ash Wednesday focused. The materials came together. The bulletin came together. The thought came to me to have us read the Psalm 51 passage responsively from the Psalter in the hymnal before the homily "A Clean Heart". The message came together on Tuesday. As it was coming together, I wondered if I could avoid being vulnerable and authentic. The answer was no and by the time the message was finished with me on Tuesday, I was done for the day, yet I knew it was right. I knew I would be pouring out, once again, the empyting of myself, as that is my prayer any and every time I am going to share and lead. I'm good with that because it's not about me. It's about God. Yet, it does put me in a vulnerable place, a place where I have the opportunity to trust, where I continue to learn and grow. It's a good place. I am leading from where I am living.
I had planned to wear my collar for the service, but my new shirt from the Open Table UMC in Raleigh, NC came this week and I wore it yesterday: "Break all the rules; love everyone". Being dark gray/ashy in color, I decided (with input from others) that it was appropriate to wear for the service) so I did.
It came time for worship and those of us leading were there last night: Bryant to play the organ, Becky and Scarlet to lead the music, Bill to run sound, and me. We got the lights set to where we wanted them, the heat turned on (thanks to a phone call and learning how to override the system in the sanctuary), We got two young and eager helpers, along with their moms, to hand out bulletins. I had been told that there are usually no more than 20, but since we've been having increased attendance, print 40. I printed 40 bulletins. We had 41 in attendance.
From my perspective, the service went well. I had plenty of ashes to go around many times more (I always prepare too much). Everything flowed. I hadn't re-read some of the material in the
Book of Worship or the
Hymnal prior, so it caught me fresh in the moment. That was a good thing. I was able to worship and participate as much as I was able to lead. I was grateful for having done some hard work of reflecting prior and working through some things, as that was helpful. I was also grateful for the work I've been doing to intentionally change my wording when it comes to "brothers and sisters" in liturgy. I opened up the
Book of Worship and was about to start reading the Invitation. And there is was, "brothers and sisters". Not that the terminology is bad, it's simply not inclusive. I hesitated, smiled to myself and began with an invitation to the siblings and family of God in Christ. I've been doing this for a while in prayers for several years, but there was something marked last night, for some reason or maybe for some one. I don't know.
Imposing ashes was meaningful for me. I was able to call everyone by name as they came forward. I did need to ask pronunciation for someone who attends stretch class that I've met just once, but out of 41, that wasn't bad. Well, I don't think everyone received ashes and that's cool. Yet still, when my brain can remember that many names at one time without name tags, that's a good moment. [Don't tell anyone though. I still want folks to wear name tags on Sunday mornings. It's a good hospitality thing. :)]
I knew I would need someone to impose ashes on me and that was a plan I hadn't worked out. I went back to the sound booth to give Bill his ashes. As I went back there and headed back up front, I was looking around, wondering, praying. Someone stood up, got out of the aisle, and approached me. Yep, that works. God worked that one out too. That was meaningful to me.
The closing song from the hymnal was "Jesus, Remember Me". We sang it through three times. I went to the altar the first time and sang it on my knees. It's a taizé song I'm familiar with and enjoy. When it was over and time for the final prayer, I found that my body didn't want to get up from a kneeling position. It wasn't that I couldn't. My body wanted to stay in that state of being. So, I shared that I was going to stay as I was and let's pray this prayer together. We prayed and then we dismissed in peace and silence.
I'll include the order of worship and the message in this post and some pictures, taken by Riley.
The Order of Worship:
BACK OF BULLETIN (for easier reading):
The Season of Lent
Lent is a season of forty days, not counting Sundays, which
begins on Ash Wednesday and ends on Holy Saturday. “Lent” comes from the
Anglo-Saxon word lencten for “spring.” Lent began as a period of fasting
and preparation for baptism by converts, and then became a time of penitence
for all Christians.
In the Ash Wednesday service, we confront our own mortality
and confess our sin before God. The service focuses upon the dual themes of sin
and death in the light of God’s redeeming love in Jesus Christ. The imposition
of ashes is a sign of mortality and repentance with a long history in Jewish
and Christian worship. It is traditional to save the palm branches from the
previous year’s Palm Sunday service and burn to produce ashes for the Ash Wednesday
service.
Reflection:
“The season of Lent is like a roller coaster ride
with emotions that are down and up again and again as the story or our
salvation makes plain our sinful ways and the cost of our redemption. We begin with Ash Wednesday where we roughly
bump up against our own mortality. Here
we know that sin and death are real, and they are real not just for someone
else. Sin and death are real for us.
This is where we begin the Lenten Season, with our face pressed hard against
the reality of our own sin and death.”
A guide to prayer for all who seek
god, page 126
INSIDE THE BULLETIN:
St. Elmo United
Methodist Church
February 26, 2020 Ash Wednesday Liturgical
Color: Purple Rev. Debra Dickerson
ASH WEDNESDAY SERVICE
Prelude
Bryant
Lowery
Greeting
Rev. Debra
Dickerson
L: The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with you.
P: And also with you.
L: Bless the Lord who forgives all our sins.
P: May God’s Mercy endure forever.
Opening
Prayer “Ash
Wednesday” UMH
#353
(Pray in unison.)
*Reflection
Song Come and Find the Quiet Center Becky Myatt,
The Faith We
Sing #2128 leading
Come and find the
quiet center
in the crowded life we lead,
find the room for hope to enter,
find the frame where we are freed:
Clear the chaos and the clutter,
clear our eyes, that we can see
all the things that really matter,
be at peace, and simply be.
Silence is a friend who claims us,
cools the heat and slows the pace,
God it is who speaks and names us,
knows our being, touches base,
making space within our thinking,
lifting shades to show the sun,
raising courage when we're shrinking,
finding scope for faith begun.
In the Spirit let
us travel,
open to each other's pain,
let our loves and fears unravel,
celebrate the space we gain:
there's a place for deepest dreaming,
there's a time for heart to care,
in the Spirit's lively scheming
there is always room to spare!
Scripture Psalm
51
(Responsive Reading) UMH Psalter pp.785-786
Message: “A Clean
Heart” Rev. Debra Dickerson
Invitation to
the Observance of the Lenten Discipline
Thanksgiving
Over the Ashes
Book
of Worship Pgs. 322-323
Imposition of Ashes
Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return.
Repent, and believe the gospel.
Confession
and Pardon
UMH #893
*Hymn Jesus, Remember Me UMH #488
*Blessing
and Closing Prayer
Almighty and everlasting God, we enter this season of Lent in penitence
and humility, aware of our own mortality and sinfulness. Encourage us with your presence, we pray,
that we may empty ourselves of whatever separates us from you and one
another. Teach us to rely on no strength
but yours, as we journey with your Son toward your kingdom through Jesus
Christ, our Lord. Amen. ~Ron Kok
Postlude
Bryant Lowery
*Please stand, as able.
We
depart in silence…
The Message:
“A Clean Heart”
Psalm 51:1-17 (Psalter Responsive Reading from UMH)
February 26, 2020 (Ash Wednesday)
St. Elmo UMC
Today, Ash Wednesday, begins the 40 day season of
Lent. You can read more about the Season
of Lent and Ash Wednesday on the back of tonight’s bulletin.
Everything about tonight’s service is arranged to
help us begin our journey of reflection toward the cross.
We hear about forgiveness, we seek to find the quiet
center and silence in the midst of noise and busyness. We hear the words of the Psalmist David, which
we will unpack some in a moment. Then we
will offer a thanksgiving over the ashes, receive the ashes, share in a
confession and pardon, sing together, and head out into the rest of the Lenten journey, aware of
our mortality and God’s presence.
Psalm 51 guides us into self-reflection as we hear
David’s prayer for forgiveness. As David
recognized his need for God’s mercy, we recognize our need for God’s
mercy.
We do things, either by omission or commission that
hurt ourselves, others, and/or God (or all of the above) at one time or
another. These things may be small or
they may be large.
We have a need for reflection, confession,
forgiveness, restoration. Lent is a
season of reflection, of listening to God and self, remembering who and whose
we are and allowing ourselves to be washed by the amazing grace of a Creator
who reminds us we belong.
Do you know David’s story here? Do you know that his actions did harm to
himself, Bathsheba, Uriah, those who served under Uriah (because it put them at
risk when Uriah was killed), and his actions did harm to God? How is that you ask? I see David’s actions as grieving God. David was a man after God’s own heart, a
chosen leader. Yet, David’s actions took
him down another path for a while and that had to grieve the One who created
him, who knew him best, and who had called him into leadership. God was hurt, yet did not abandon David.
David comes to a place of penitence and confession
and cries out to God, “Create in me a clean heart, O God. And renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from thy presence, O Lord. And take not thy Holy Spirit from me.”
David wanted a restored relationship with God. God wanted a restored relationship with
David. It began with repentance and
moved into reconciliation.
Have you ever found yourself in a situation like
David, seeking forgiveness from someone, from yourself, from God? The situation itself doesn’t matter. If it has broken a right relationship, then
repentance, forgiveness, and reconciliation are needed for healing and wholeness.
It’s not easy to take that step in seeking
forgiveness. Pride. Ego.
Self. False self, I might clarify. They get in the way.
John Rohrs notes: “The more difficult step is
seeking forgiveness from the people we hurt, and committing ourselves to the
hard, often painful work of reconciliation.” (Feasting on the Word, Year A, Volume 2, page 13)
I will always be grateful for the phone call many
years ago now (has it been 15?) that challenged me. She called me to meet up, saying that if I
was serious about putting the past behind us, let’s get together. We did.
She had every reason to hate me, to scorn me, to not forgive me. But we met and because of the grace and
forgiveness of a loving God, we have done the hard work of reconciliation over
the years. It is one of those markers in
my life that remind me, like David, God can bring restoration and healing into
situations that I’ve messed up. We are
now an extended family, sharing weddings, holidays, graduations,
illnesses.
John Rohrs continues in his thoughts: “true
reconciliation requires not only repentance, but also truth and justice and
commitment to changed behavior. This deeper
understanding not only aids in the restoration of human relationships; it also
may help us more faithfully to respond to God’s love and mercy in our lives.”
This Lenten season, allow the Holy Spirit into your
heart, mind, and soul. Make time to
listen. Consider reading the Scriptures
on the Lenten guide and reflecting on what they say to you. Be open to the powerful and healing work of reconciliation
these next forty days.
Photos:
 |
| My newest t-shirt from OpenTable UMC in Raleigh, NC |
As this Lenten journey has begun, I am grateful and humbled.
I am looking forward to the adventures of the journey with all who allow me to travel with them.
~Rev. Deb
