Easter 2015... a mixture of emotions, a time of transition.

This is a crazy time of life for me.  Focusing diligently on my studies so I can graduate in May.  Even last week during my Reading Week and my kid's Spring Break, I had work to do.  Though we took a family vacation to Seagrove Beach, FL (beautiful!), I spent hours READING and writing!  It was a profitable working vacation for me and worth every moment.  It was also a good time of relaxation and being at the Gulf of Mexico and getting to enjoy some scenic hikes.  (I hope to make time to put a blog post together about the vacation at some point!)

It was Holy Week last week.  A time of reflection even though I didn't attend any services until today.  Because of the year anniversary of Will's accident and death, I thought often of him and his family.  Will's life continues to inspire me.  This morning I posted a tribute to him on my Facebook page:

"Hey Little Buddy. You may be wondering why so many here on earth have been struggling this week since last Sunday. You've been living the good life, free from pain and suffering. We have been remembering your journey from the accident to today. How appropriate that journey has been this year being from Palm Sunday to the cross to today, Easter Sunday, resurrection. On the very day that last year you went home, today we celebrate new life, risen life. Though it is still ...difficult because we miss you, Will, we do rejoice that you are healed! You have new life. And not just you. Because of the beautiful decision your parents made, your life allowed other people to have continued life. Those families today celebrate life in gratefulness and appreciation in honor of you. Throughout this past year, there have been tears, Will. But there has been laughter. There have been stories shared about your life. There have been people who have been inspired by your life. You have continued to be a witness of love, joy, compassion, intentionality, and abundant living for many of us. I wanted to say thank you today. Love you little buddy."

My grandmother (Meemo) who passed in January 2014 would have been 98 yesterday on April 4th, so I've thought about her life too.

Today's sunrise service at Camp Dixie and the service at church were both powerful messages that ministered to me today.  Two of the pictures I took this morning:

Today's sermon at the 9am service was about dying and the dash, being intentional about the time we have in living.  Death allows us the opportunity to consider how we are living.  Are we living well?  Are there things we would change?  What about all those fears and concerns that we know about?  And then what about those things we don't yet know about, but will learn about?  Hope can and will defeat fears and concerns.

There is a purpose to living.  There is something worth living for.  And in this time of the dash, how will we live?

I was blessed by the songs sung by the chancel choir, the special music by Wil and Matt, the prayer led by Pastor Amy, and the message shared by Pastor Rowland today.  Intentional living, abundant living is one of my favorite topics.  I do want to live well during my dash.

My life isn't free of pain, suffering, worries, concerns, brokenness, or woundedness.  But, there is hope. There is joy.  And, it IS well with my soul.

I am grateful for those saints who have gone before me, many in the past 12 months, who have modeled intentional living.  And then the others who have gone on before them.  I am also grateful for a Creator who continues to draw me into relationship, holding me and guiding me along life's journey.

Today was my final Easter Sunday service as a lay person.  Next year will be my first Easter Sunday as a clergy person.  There will be quite a few lasts and firsts as the transition continues.

As I watched my pastors lead the service today, I thought about all the pastors and churches that have been a part of my journey.

From my home church, St. Mark's Episcopal in Dalton, GA to Christ Church UMC on Long Island, NY to First Dayton UMC, Dayton, TN to Hixson UMC, Grace UMC, Red Bank UMC (didn't join but was active in Bible Study for a time), Burks UMC.... all in Hixson, TN.  Then there are the churches for whom I've been able to fill the pulpit along the way.... Christ Church UMC (my first sermon in 1988), Grace UMC, Payne's Chapel, White Oak, New Salem, Fairview, Burks, and St. Luke (next week for the first time).


I started naming off pastors at these churches and then realized there were so many more in the Emmaus community, through Hearts on Fire (FUMSDRL), through the Academy for Spiritual Formation, through local ministry, etc. that have impacted my life.

Then there are the laity who have spoken into my life.  To name them would take forever too.  There are SO MANY through GBOD, the Academy, Emmaus, many churches, the Upper Room, family, friends, ETC.

Wow!  I have not only been surrounded, but truly carried by a great cloud/community of witnesses..... past and present.

I am deeply humbled and grateful.   There is hope that because of this great community, I will be able to continue defeating the fears and concerns that come my way.  But it's more than just this community that surrounds me, past and present.  I know THE HOPE that resides within me, that guides me, that carries me, that speaks truth to me when I hear thousands of other voices.  The ONE VOICE of truth, the hope that lives eternally--past, present, and future.... that is the greatest hope of all.  Because God lives, there is hope.  I can face today.  I can face tomorrow.  It is truly well with my soul.

Wherever you are in your life journey, may there be hope and may it be well with your soul!

Blessings on your journey,

Debra

Easter sermon from Burks UMC 2nd service, April 5, 2015:

Encouraged and affirmed in calling...

Over the past several months I have been encouraged and affirmed in my calling through different people, events, and situations.   Through it all, I see God's hand gently guiding and reminding me to keep moving forward, to keep listening, and to 'keep on keeping on'. 

I am going to share two experiences in this post.

Riley and I had been able to go to the April Emmaus Gathering because it was during Spring break and we didn't need to worry about our daughter staying up late on a school night, though she opted out of joining us.  I enjoy the Gatherings.  Food, table fellowship, worship, Holy communion.  It turned out there were no other clergy present besides the one leading, Ben Matherly.  The other two guys who had planned to be there had situations come up and couldn't make it.  Ben approached me toward the end of the meal and asked if I would assist him with communion.  Of course!  Though I'm not ordained yet (Certified Candidate with a year left of studies), I am now considered clergy in the Emmaus community because I went through the application and review process.  I was excited and nervous at the same time.  I don't often get to serve communion.  What if I didn't remember the words correctly.  When it was time for me to go up, Ben called me up.  When it was time for me to do my part, I did it.  Honestly, I couldn't tell you exactly what I said.  I attempted to listen to God's leading and provide the context for us gathered as community, coming to the table and put it in the context of what Jesus did and said.  To myself, it sounded as if I had some of the verbs in the past and in the present, all mixed up.  Later, I reflected and double checked the Scripture and decided that since Christ is past, present, and future, then maybe that was okay.  Ben and I shared the elements with the community gathered that evening and it was a blessing to do so.  I am always blessed and humbled to be part of such a powerful and meaningful sacrament.  Not only was the experience encouraging and affirming to me, but there were several people afterwards who spoke with me or wrote me about it and those were also encouraging and affirming.

Another experience that encouraged and affirmed me is very different in nature and occurred prior to the one above.  You have read about Will, the four year old "pushing 5" who struggled after the water accident.  Being with Will encouraged and affirmed me in calling throughout the time he was in the hospital.  But, there is one experience in particular I will share right now.  After learning of Will's accident Sunday evening, I was able to go down Monday morning to see Will and to be with his Dad, Tony.  Knowing Tony likes coffee, I contacted Tony prior to going down there to see what I could bring him and any others who were there.  He was the only one that needed anything at the time, so I headed to the hospital with Starbucks and in prayer.  When I arrived, I briefly got to see Joy, Will's grandmother, outside of Will's room.  She was heading out.  In Will's room, I immediately felt peace and what I would say was the presence of the Holy Spirit.  Tony and Kacey, Will's Mom, were there.  It was a blessing to see Kacey and to be able to support her.  I showed Tony the cross that I had used the night before to pray for Will.  It's a cross I received at the end of the Academy journey and I often use it to pray for people.  For the first time I had anointed the cross Sunday evening as my husband and I prayed over the head portions and lungs for Will.  Standing at Will's bed Monday morning, looking over him, I felt led to pray for him and anoint him for healing then and there.  I asked Tony for permission to do so, and he granted it.  I can't tell you what I prayed.  I only know that I felt led by the Holy Spirit and tried to listen as I prayed for my little friend with such a big heart.  Some may say that I wasted my time in praying for healing because healing didn't come.  I can hear that, but I would have to 'agree to disagree'.  Healing comes in different ways.  I didn't know what "healing" would mean for Will.  All I knew was that I felt led to anoint him for healing and to pray for him.  When I finished praying for him, when we finished praying for him, I looked up and Tony had taken a picture.  My first reaction was embarrassment, but then I realized it wasn't about me.  Yet, even though it wasn't about me, I still felt encouraged and affirmed in my calling.  It was humbling and meaningful to have this opportunity to be with Will and the family during this time.  Kacey called me as I was on my way to tutoring that morning and that also encouraged me and affirmed me in my calling. 

Cross from Academy

Picture taken by Tony Smith; used with permission



These are just two of the many experiences that have occurred over the past several months that have encouraged and affirmed me in my calling.  As they continue to rumble in my heart, mind, and soul, you may read about others later. 

 

To all of those who are walking with me on this journey, whether in person, on-line, via phone calls, email, through this blog, or in prayer.... thank you.  Thank you for being the support, the iron that sharpens iron, etc. 

 

As I've said before, I will say again, I am very blessed to be in community.  I am grateful that I can learn, grow, fall, fail, get back up, keep moving forward, walk alongside, be carried, etc.  That is what community is... a place where we can be ourselves, live into who we are and support one another.

 

How are you being encouraged and affirmed in your calling in your community?

 

Continuing forward on this awesome adventurous journey,

 

Debra