Lessons from a hummingbird

I haven't seen many hummingbirds this year at my house. However, this morning, one "buzzed" by me as I sat on the deck drinking my coffee. That was a not-so-subtle reminder for me to change out the hummingbird feeders.

It has been on my mind and to-do lists for a while now. But, the food looked healthy enough, so I refrained from changing it. Nevermind that I didn't see hummingbirds ever eating it. I allowed what seemed to be real enough to rule my actions.

When I got the two feeders down, I realized that the "healthy" looking food was just a mirage. It had been there too long. 

I cleaned out both feeders and made some fresh food.

It wasn't very long at all after I had hung the two feeders that I noticed a humming bird drinking from one of them. Ah, it knew. The food was fresh again. 

This was a cause for a pause for me. It made me think, in other words. First, it made me think about the hummingbirds: A change in the sustenance was what was needed to bring the little guys back. The food had gotten old and wasn't healthy. They knew it and stayed away.

Then I started thinking in terms of my spiritual health:

• What spiritual food looks healthy enough but is no longer providing sustenance to/for me? 
• What do I need to change up or to change out in order to have healthier sustenance in my spiritual provision?

I remember the statement that was made at the 5 Day Academy this fall: 'the spiritual practices that got you here are not the spiritual practices that will carry you forward'. I don't think this means that we are to throw away and scrap all of our practices. I do think it is an opportunity to look at them, to discern which ones are life-giving and which ones are not in the moment. The life-giving ones are good to keep on doing. The others can be put aside for now. We may or may not pick them back up at a later time.

I have made changes in my spiritual practices throughout my journey and have added some new things to my tools and resources. I have also kept some things that seem to work well.

As I watch these hummingbirds feeding this morning, the biggest reminder is this: I am reminded to keep things fresh.

As I ponder that, I wonder how that freshness will play out in my spiritual journey?!?! Time will tell.

Peace on this day!

Rev. Debra

A reflection on paths, spurred by quotes and memories

 This quote that I wrote 8 years ago showed up in my memories a few days back:

"When faced with an overgrown path between yourself and a destination, look closely for the hidden worn path of travelers gone before and follow their steps. If no such step or opening exists, it may be time to forge the path for others. ~d" [July 25, 2014]

I wrote these words based on what I saw on the property of Christ the King Retreat Center in Buffalo, MN that year. The overgrown path had captured my attention. These words continue to ring true for me. I have followed the path of many who have led the way and I have forged paths at times.

As I reflect on this quote and some of the paths I have forged, I recognize that Bamboo Encounter is one such path that I have both followed others and forged. I followed leaders and learned from them and then forged a path that was given to me in my setting.

I am grateful for all those in the Wild Church Network that taught me and continue to teach me about Wild Churches. I am grateful for the Holy Spirit that put the idea within me and allowed it to become a reality. I have written about how Bamboo Encounter a couple of times:

Bamboo Encounter-- a nudge is becoming a reality (February 7, 2019)

Bamboo Encounter's first outdoor service-- May 25 (May 25, 2019)

There are a few more blog posts about Bamboo Encounter, but mostly you can learn about it from the link above that takes you to its Facebook page.

This week Bamboo Encounter was the "feature" wild church and that was cool.  Here is that post.  Wild Church Network FB page.

Another recent memory reminds me that many people who have walked the path have been there for me and now I walk that path with and for others.

A sign that says "Charlie's Garden" at the Cenacle in Houston, TX captured my attention. 

Here is what I wrote about that sign just this week on July 27:

"This sign. This memory. Forever a marker in my journey of Creator God's grace, compassion, and love. Unexpected, sent-me-to-my-knees attention getter, reminding me that I can breathe in and out, that I can trust the One who created Charlie." #grateful

From the memory that came up in 2020 on the same day, I had written: "Charlie's Garden. A sign at the Cenacle Center in Houston, Texas in 2016. It made my heart smile. I haven't often received literal signs of assurance, but that one summer when I needed it the most, it was there. During a retreat on compassion. Oh how that sign sent me to my knees that moment, yet how Creator God spoke words of hope, peace, comfort, and encouragement through it. Grateful for the love and guidance of the One who knows me best, the One who created me, the One who created Charlie."

I've written a blog post about that sign and names. You can find it here: Thoughts about names.

We are all in community, connected, working together, as Ram Dass says, 'to walk each other home.'

I am grateful for those who have gone before me and for those who accompany me along the many adventures.

The adventurous journey continues!

Rev. Deb

"The Beautiful Not Yet"-- A virtual retreat featuring Carrie Newcomer

I just finished up a two day virtual retreat with the theme: "The Beautiful Not Yet". This retreat was hosted by Hearts on Fire, an organization I've been connected with for nearing a decade now. Though we weren't able to meet in person at Christ the King retreat center in Buffalo, MN this year, the virtual retreat was so very much worth the time apart.

Prior to the retreat we received a box in the mail with a postcard of a photo of the lake at the retreat center, a small wooden cross, a battery votive candle, a wooden votive holder, a stone with a word carved in it, a notebook for notes, a schedule, and a cloth to arrange things on as our altar.

The box gave me hope, appropriately, as "HOPE" was the word on my rock.

From the box to the opening to the closing, this virtual retreat offered me refreshing water, soaking into parched areas known and unknown to me, seen and unseen by me. I could feel/sense my pores hydrating (metaphorically speaking) as we journeyed through our time together.

I have listened to Carrie Newcomer's songs in the past, have read what Parker Palmer has written about her songs in his posts, and her songs have been shared in our Spiritual Direction cohort. But, this was the first time to meet her up close and personal (as much is possible in a zoom meeting) and to hear her sing "live".

It was also my first time to collaborate on a song with a room full of others and have Carrie sing it to us and with us. What a powerful experience.

FUMSDRL/HOF (Fellowship of United Methodist Spiritual Directors and Retreat Leaders/Hearts on Fire) has been support for me throughout my seminary and seeking journey, going through commissioning and ordination, as well as the journey of being an affirming and welcoming parent.

From the songs to the poems to the large group to the small breakout sessions, there were so many take-aways I have from these two days.

Discussing liminality and both/and make me feel right at home, as those have been places I've lived for many years now.

Click on the link of the poem title to check out the poem "Liminality" that was shared at the beginning of our time. I wrote "wow! re-visit" in my notes after hearing it.

As I re-visit the poem now, this catches my attention:

"I’ve been learning to live with what is,
More patient with the process,
To love what is becoming,
And the questions that keep returning."

There's more in there that speaks to me, resonates with me, but that's good for now. Check it out. What resonates with you?

I spent my afternoon time yesterday (after lunch) in my hammock some, then on the deck with Cliff and a book that came yesterday. It's a book by Gerald May that had caught my attention. The arrival was perfect timing: The Wisdom of Wilderness: Experiencing the Healing Power of Nature.

The Scripture reading in yesterday's closing session was Romans 8:14-16. The Message spoke to me most: 

"So don’t you see that we don’t owe this old do-it-yourself life one red cent. There’s nothing in it for us, nothing at all. The best thing to do is give it a decent burial and get on with your new life. God’s Spirit beckons. There are things to do and places to go!  This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It’s adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike “What’s next, Papa?” God’s Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children."

God's Spirit beckons.

Yes!

God's Spirit beckoned me to participate in this virtual retreat. It was invitational and I'm so grateful I said YES!

I am encouraged to focus more intentionally on daily details and to write out what I see and observe. In the writing exercise this morning I wrote about the clouds I had seen this morning: "dark billowing clouds stacked upon each other in a dark sky". The goal is to include details, to observe whatever it is that catches one's attention.

A quote gleaned from our time together: "You can argue with an opinion, but you cannot argue with a story." ~Carrie Newcomer

Asking people: 'what is holy in your life?' and/or 'where do you encounter love made visible?' are questions that can lead to conversation with others.

This afternoon I took some time to reflect on the word on the rock I received, HOPE. Without sharing everything I wrote, let me share this: "Hope has been a theme for me personally and one I've held for the community I served as we prepared to gather again in person on Pentecost Sunday, 2021. To show we were looking forward to the new next thing and the time of transitioning to both/and worship (both in person and on line), we placed a yellow ribbon around the oak tree, yellow ribbons on the front doors, and yellow ribbons in the pews. [...] Chautauqua gave me hope last summer as I was Chaplain at the Methodist House for a week. A 5 day Academy in NC offered me hope in the fall. My fall residency in Spiritual Direction offered me hope. As I continue to walk a path seen and unseen, there is hope. Hope that healing is happening in me and in others. Hope for a renewed vision. Hope for "being" and allowing the Creator to flow into me and through me. Hope to remain present, in the here, in the now, to lean into this family leave of absence and to make it all that it can be. [...] Hope. A word that also means 'wait' in Spanish and in French: 'esperar'/espérer. May I wait in and with hope!"

I didn't expect to become teary eyed when Scottie Brafford's photo was shown on the screen for the scholarship drawing, but I did. A flashback of times from the 5 Day Academy in TN to FUMSDRL/HOF board meetings and retreats with her flew through my mind. Conversations, laughter, tears, good work done--- all flashed through my mind as I looked at her photo. Though that reminded me that I still miss her, it also reminded me of how grateful I am for those times and all she gave to others and to FUMSDRL/HOF.

I imagine there will be continued reflection(s) on these past two days as the journey continues. There was much to feast upon in our time together.

I am grateful to the board of FUMSDRL/HOF for all the work they did to put this virtual retreat together, to all the participants, and to Carrie Newcomer for what bringing her gifts and graces to the space.

It was truly a time of connecting, of renewal, of hope and healing for me.

And that was holy!

May you know deep peace in your journey, 

Rev. Deb