Strength from songs

On February 3rd I was listening to the radio (Family Radio, 91.3) when several songs came on that struck me with their lyrics.

In order for me to minister to others, I need to keep growing in my relationship with God and in my faith. I know that I need to take time apart, have times of silence and solitude, study, pray, meet with others, etc.  I cannot offer to others from a dry well; I must refill at the fountain.

When there are days that I'm poured out to the point that I'm not sure what I have to offer, it is good to be reminded that I can offer the love of Christ.  I can share what I learn as I learn it.  I can offer ministry of presence and a listening ear.

As I was preparing that Friday morning to be with a family, the songs on the radio spoke to me and filled me with renewed strength.  Not solely for ministry with the family, but for quite a few other things going on in life.

One of the songs was new to me, "Lean On" by 7eventh Time Down.

Lyrics:

I know just how you feel
When you're too tired to stand up
I know just how you feel
I know it's hard to believe
When you wanna give up
I know just how you feel

You can lean on everlasting arms
When your strength fails and your faith is worn
You'll be safe here from all alarms
You can lean on everlasting arms

I know just how you feel
When you've done all that you can
And it's still not enough

There is a peace more real
There is a place you can rest
There's Someone you can trust

You can lean on everlasting arms
When your strength fails and your faith is worn
You'll be safe here from all alarms
You can lean on everlasting arms

He will hold you up and never let go
My God will hold you up,
He'll never let go 


Jordan Feliz sings "Down to the River".   It's a peppy song that I enjoy.  "Beloved" isn't as peppy, but the message is an important reminder for whose we are.

Lyrics:

Head full of questions, how can you measure up?
To deserve afftection to ever be enough
For this existance
When did it get so hard?
Your heart is beating, alive and breathing
And there´s a reason why
You are essential, not accidental
And you should realize
You are beloved
I wanted you to know
You are beloved
Let it soak into your soul
Oh, forget the lies you heard
Rise above the hurt
And listen to these words
You are beloved
I wanted you to know
You are beloved
You are beloved

Sometimes a heart can feel like a heavy weight
It pulls you under and you just fall away
Is anybody gonna hear you call?
Oh, oh
But there´s a purpose
Under the surface
And you don´t have to drown
Let me remind you
That love will find you
Let it lift you out
You are beloved
I wanted you to know
You are beloved

I wanted you to know

You are beloved
Don´t be afraid
Don´t let hope, faith keep your eyes fixed on the line above
In the heartbreak, in your mistakes, nothing can separate you from love
Don´t be afraid
Don´t let hope, fait keep you eyes fixed on the line above
In the heartbreak, in your mistakes, nothing can separate you from love
You are beloved
I wanted you to know
You are beloved
Let it soak into your soul
Forget the lies you heard
Rise above the hurt
And listen to these words
You are beloved
I wanted you to know
You are beloved
You are beloved
You are beloved
Don´t be afraid
Don´t let hope, faith keep your eyes fixed on the line above
In the heartbreak, in your mistakes, nothing can separate you from love
You are beloved

Remembering that there is an Audience of One for whom I am to live, love, and lead is at times difficult.  We all need reminding that we are beloved of God, that we are created uniquely with a purpose.  There are some days and times that we need that message more than others.  We can get caught up in the many voices daily, but need to attempt to listen to the One Voice, that of our Creator who knows us more intimately than anyone.

The other song that ministered to me that morning was "My All in All" by Phil Wickham, another new song for me that day.

Lyrics:

You are my life you are my love
You are my reason
You are my hope you are my joy
You are my passion
My all in all Jesus my all in all

In the desert You're the river
An ever flowing stream of life
In the battle You're the victor
We raise Your banner high

In the darkness You're the fire
A holy flame for all to see
In my heart You reign forever
My all, my everything

You are my life you are my love
You are my reason
You are my hope you are my joy
You are my passion
My all in all Jesus my all in all
My all in all Jesus my all in all

In the tempest You're the shelter
And I will hide beneath Your wings
Hallelujah what a Savior!
My all, my everything

You are my life you are my love
You are my reason
You are my hope you are my joy
You are my passion
My all in all Jesus my all in all
My all in all Jesus my all in all

Your name be high and lifted up
Jesus Your name be high and lifted up
Jesus Your name be high and lifted up
In all the earth, in all the earth

You are my life you are my love
You are my reason
You are my hope you are my joy
You are my passion
My all in all Jesus my all in all
My all in all Jesus You are my all in all

------------

Music ministers to my soul.  It can give me strength for the journey, help me praise and worship, and remind me of who and whose I am.

When the days are difficult or you are hearing from too many voices other than the One who knit you together in your mother's womb (Psalm 139), may you be encouraged by these or other songs.

Blessings on your journey,

Debra

Last week's lectionary lesson-- Salt and Light

I preach the lectionary.  Or, more often, the lectionary preaches to me.  Each week I dive into the Scripture passage hoping to come out with a message to share with the congregation(s) I will be with on that particular Sunday.  Some weeks are more difficult than others for that message to be birthed.  For those who are living into this calling, I imagine you know what I mean.

There are so many times that I find that the Scripture passages are reading me and the message too.

This past week was no different.

There have been several things that have happened, allowing me to reflect further on the themes of salt and light.

First, on Saturday, we had a planning and visioning meeting at one of our churches in the parish and had a guest speaker.  During his time of sharing with us he spoke about the church being a lighthouse in the community.  The picture on the front of the bulletin for Sunday included a lighthouse. I like it when things weave together.

Our speaker also spoke about people in the community being thirsty.  They may not know what they are thirsty for, but we, as the church (people, not building) can provide the answers they seek.  In the message for Sunday, I spoke about salt having three properties: it flavors, it keeps things fresh (preserves), and it creates a thirst.  There were two connections on that Saturday morning.

As I preached the sermon twice on Sunday morning, it preached to me.  I encouraged us to "Be Salt and Light" to those around us.  I mentioned that in being the light, we are bringing light into a broken and wounded world that needs healing.  Often, that broken and wounded world starts with us.  Just like a stained glass window, the light can shine brightly through broken things.  Or, just like a glow stick, we can shine brightly through brokenness.

The passage in Matthew 5:13-20 tells us that we are worth nothing if we lose our saltiness.  I addressed how we can sustain our saltiness and brightness through the means of grace taught by John Wesley.  We recently had a study on the Devotional Life in the Wesleyan Tradition and the means of grace were most recently shared then.  But they got shared again on Sunday, as a way for us to remain salty and bright.

Means of Grace:

Instituted means of grace

[evident in the life and teaching of Jesus]

[inward holiness, works of piety]

·        prayer (private and corporate)

·        searching the Scriptures (reading, hearing, meditating)

·        Lord's Supper

·        Fasting

·        Community

Prudential means of grace

[developed by the church]

[outward holiness, works of mercy]

Service focused toward individual needs--

·        Doing Good (do no harm, do good, stay in love with God)

·        Visiting the Sick

·        Visiting the Imprisoned

·        Feeding & Clothing those in need

·        Earning, Saving, & Giving all one can

As it was the first Sunday of the month (meaning we would share in Holy Communion), we were participating in every means of grace in the first section, except fasting (to my knowledge).

It isn't easy to remain salty and bright.  It takes work.  I am reminded that our saltiness and brightness is for the sake of others.  We are to share with those around us, so that they will see the love of God and be drawn into relationship.

Sunday afternoon I was in the grocery store gathering a few groceries and I noticed someone down the aisle that I recognized, but couldn't place in the moment.  He seemed to recognize me too.  I didn't want to seem rude, so I kept moving, but acknowledged him with a hello or smile.  I don't remember.  As we passed one another, he turned around and asked me, "Do you know me?"  I turned back and responded that I did and suddenly his name came to me, so I gave it.  Then we started talking.  I reminded him how I knew him (horses and horse birthday parties) and we talked for a little while.  Our conversation went into church (his lead) and God.  It was definitely one of those opportunities to be salt and light and to share the good news of God's love.

Preaching isn't just something I do.  It's who I am.  It's a part of my life, lived out for the good of the kingdom and the glory of God.  I am changed constantly by the good news as I seek to live, love, and lead in the way of Jesus.

Another thing this week was that I was asked to do a funeral for a family I don't know.  This was the first time for me to do this.  I have done one funeral for a church member's family member that I didn't know, but not a funeral for folks I didn't know.

It had already been a busy two weeks with church families of dying, grief, death, and funerals, but I felt led to say yes to this family.

I was blessed tremendously to be able to walk alongside this family, to get to know their loved one who shone brightly throughout life despite hardships.

Walking with others through life in community is a means of grace.  It helps us keep our saltiness and brightness.

There were songs on the radio that brought me encouragement during the week, comments from friends and colleagues, prayers, etc.

I don't know what you are going through on your journey, whether you are on the top of the mountain or in the valley. What I do know is that the means of grace will strengthen and carry you as you live, love, and lead (we all lead in one way or another).

Be salt.  Be light.  Shine in the darkness for those who need to find their way to safety.

Blessings on your journey,

Debra

St. Francis Springs Prayer Center, Stoneville, NC

Two weeks ago Sunday, I drove up to Stoneville, NC to the St. Francis Springs Prayer Center for my first extended silent retreat.  Prior to this retreat, The Big Silence, I hadn't done more than an overnight retreat in silence.  More on the silence part at another time.  For this post, I want to focus on the retreat center.

This was a new retreat center for me.  I have been blessed over the past couple of years through being on the board of the Fellowship of United Methodist Spiritual Directors and Retreat Leaders (FUMSDRL) to go to retreat centers each summer for board meetings and/or conferences (depending on the year).  I like to share my experiences in case others are looking for spaces for time apart and/or retreats.

St. Francis Springs Prayer Center in Stoneville, NC was a new place for me.  It was in a rural location, which made it perfect for a silent retreat in that the only external noises heard were those of owls, woodpeckers, and an occasional plane flying overhead at a very high elevation.  There was also some construction being done on site while we were there, but that wasn't disturbing to me.  I enjoyed hearing the sound of progress as stones were added to pillars and I enjoyed hearing the occasional Spanish spoken as I walked by.

When we arrived at the center, they were still decorated for the Christmas season, which was delightful. There were several Christmas trees around the main building, a huge nativity scene, and a smaller one. The decorations began to disappear on Monday.

Because the center is named for St. Francis, there are multiple St. Francis statues on the property.  I don't know how many total, but I found several. One of them I didn't find until the last day.

There are many spaces on the property for reflection, for quiet, for walking, for rest.  There are trails on the property, a labyrinth, a chapel in the woods, a chapel in the main building, an outdoor patio at the main building, a gazebo as you begin the trail, a peace garden, stations of the cross, a creek along portions of the walking trail, a waterfall constructed out of big rocks.

There is a meditation room in the main building as well as the chapel, along with a well-stocked library and other rooms for gathering.

The retreat center is beautiful, from the architecture to the layout to the outdoors.  They have done a wonderful job in creating a space for folks to take time apart.

If you've not heard of St. Francis Springs Prayer Center, I encourage you to check it out.  It was about a 7 hour drive for me from Chattanooga and worth it.

Here are some of the pictures I took of the buildings and the grounds.  There are rooms in the main building as well as hermitages and cottages for lodging.

entry way from main road

main building

entrance to main building

Christmas decorations in large room

chapel in the woods

St. Francis

Chapel in main building

Christmas decorations in hallway

St. Francis

waterfall

labyrinth

reflection space on upper trail

library

St. Francis

Tau symbol (view from main building)

Check out their website by clicking here for more information and pictures.


Blessings on your journey,

Debra

Blessed are...

bulletin cover

Today I used the Matthew 5:1-12 passage from the lectionary, the beatitudes.  One of the songs that was used in the service was a new one for me.  It reminded us to be salt (shake, shake, shake) and light (shine, shine, shine) and used terminology such as "bullied" rather than "persecuted".  It was a fun song, with a catchy tune and an important message.  Check it out below:

The lyrics:

Verse 1 Blessed are the poor in spirit Those who see the sin in their hearts Blessed are the ones who are weeping Cause sin has torn the whole world apart

Verse 2 Blessed are the meek and humble God will freely give them all things Blessed are the ones who are hungry And thirst for justice and wait on their King

Chorus We are the salt of the earth We’re going to shake, shake, shake like a salt-shaker We are the light of the world We’re going to shine, shine, shine ‘til the night’s no more We’re going to shine, shine, shine ‘til the night’s no more

Verse 3 Blessed are the merciful Whose sins are forgiven and so they can forgive Blessed are the pure in heart God will show His face to them

Verse 4 Blessed are the ones who make peace Loving others with the Savior’s love Blessed are those bullied for their faith Great in God’s kingdom will be their reward

Copyright © 2013 Matt Mason/Mandi Mapes/Brook Hills Music, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

In preparing for today, I couldn't get a song out of my head.  The lyrics that were going through my mind were: "everybody needs compassion".

As I had read the Scripture in preparation to preach and had studied, I kept coming back to living into this different way of living that Christ modeled and taught and how compassion plays a key role in it.  I looked up the song that was swimming around in my head.

It was a Hillsong United song, "Mighty to Save".  I found the lyrics and shared them in today's message.  They seemed to fit.

Lyrics:

Everyone needs compassion
A love that's never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
A kindness of a Savior
The hope of nations

My Savior
He can move the mountains
My God is Mighty to save
He is Mighty to save
Forever
Author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

So take me as You find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender

Shine your light and let the whole world see

We're singing for the glory of the risen King...Jesus

--------------------------------------------

Compassion.  Hopefulness. Simplicity.  There were the thoughts that came from today's Scripture and readings, sharing that Jesus calls us to follow as disciples on this discipleship journey.

I am reminded that because God is love, there is a foundation for both compassion and hope.

May the love, light, compassion, and hope of Creator God continue to shine brightly in the dark places so that all people recognize that they are loved.

Blessed are they.

Blessings on your journey,

Debra

Reflections on Entering Into the Silence

It's almost here. The silent retreat, The Big Silence, that I signed up for several months ago is finally here.

I'm excited.  I really am.

For those of you who know me, you know I'm an extrovert.  Yet, I'm an introverted extrovert.  I've learned over the years that I need my silence and solitude in order to be who I'm created to be.  I live, love, and lead more effectively when I take/make time for silence and solitude.

The Academy for Spiritual Formation and SOULfeast, among other offerings from The Upper Room, have been life savers for me in learning that rhythm of inward and outward flow.

The Fellowship of United Methodist Spiritual Directors and Retreat Leaders (FUMSDRL), also known as Hearts on Fire, has also spoken into my life through retreats and board meetings.

I have done a Centering Prayer day retreat up at St. Mary's Sewanee a couple of years back (and another 1/2 day one during lent or advent one year).

Last year I did a clergy group in which we took a retreat at the end (after studying Ruth Haley Barton's book on Silence and Solitude) and spent quite a bit of time in silence up at St. Mary's in Sewanee, TN.  That was super.

Recently, I found the SoulCare Project here in Chattanooga and have participated in a couple of day retreats with silence and time for my soul to catch up with my body.

I don't make it as often as I'd like, but I try to make it to a Centering Prayer group here in town.  When I do make it, my soul is refreshed.

However, taking a 4 day silent (mostly all silent) retreat has not been something I've been able to do yet.  It has been on my bucket list.  Yep.  Not as something to simply do and cross off, but rather as something to live into and continue as I can.

As Rafiki from the Lion King would say, "It is time."

How do I know?  The timing has been affirmed over and over.  I was hesitant to sign up at first, but after prayer and discernment, I took the plunge.  It has become evident that this is the right timing in my journey to do this, because of many different things going on.  I am grateful for the nudgings so many months ago.

As I prepare to enter the silence, I realize I honestly don't know what to expect.  I chuckle to myself as I recall reading Ruth Haley Barton's comments about going to a silent retreat once and how it took time to settle down into it.

I've done all the work stuff I can ahead of time for next week.  I set my work phone message to let folks know I'd be away.  I still need to set emails to show "out of office" if I can figure that out. We'll see.

I have my hammock ready to go with me (it's supposed to be warm weather, in the 50s).

I have a regular camera in case my phone camera won't work.  Contemplative photography is a big part of my silent time, so I imagine I will spend time in reflection through nature and that pictures will be part of that process.

I have my journals ready.  Yes, that was plural.  I'm going to use this opportunity to go back and read the journals from my time in the 2 Year Academy.

Hmmm.... my flute?  It's not silent, but it is a way for me to connect.  We'll see.  I haven't prayed my native american flute in a long time.

I have the Henri Nouwen book we were asked to read, The Way of the Heart.  I haven't quite finished it yet.  I have a few other Nouwen books and a McClaren book ready to jump in with me too.

What do I expect?  I expect to meet with the One who created me.  I expect to "be still and know".  I look forward to the time to listen.  To simply be.

Honestly, my body is so tired right now, I will probably sleep some too.  But as I learned in the Academy from numerous presenters, 'sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do during this hour is nap'.  That was often said (in different ways) as we finished our teaching time and headed into our hour of silence and reflection.

After about 3:30pm or 4pm on Sunday afternoon, January 15th, I won't be present in the virtual world.  I won't be checking emails.  I won't be making or taking phone calls.  A technology fast.

That means one of my spiritual disciplines, blogging, will need to wait as well.  I suppose.  We'll see.  Writing is a spiritual discipline for me and I've not had lots of time to write and reflect lately.  But, maybe at this retreat it will all be hand-written.  That'll be different for me.

As I enter into this experience, I enter with palms opened up to my Creator with no agenda other than to accept the gift of receiving whatever it may be that God has for me in this adventure.

Blessings on your journey,

Debra

The Way of the Heart--thoughts on solitiude

I mentioned this book, The Way of the Heart, in my last blogpost about sacred spaces.  I've been reading this book by Henri Nouwen in preparation for the upcoming retreat in January.

I'm about 2/3 of the way through with the book, having finished the sections on solitude and silence.

In yesterday's post, I mentioned one of the sacred spaces (without elaborating) was my rolling sanctuary. I've talked about that before.  When I'm in my car, travelling about, I often drive in silence in order to listen.  It depends on my day and my needs.  Lately, I have needed to create more space than normal of silence and solitude in order to be able to live, love, and lead well.

I say "well", but that isn't always the case.  I do the best I can with where I am, thankful that God is full of mercy and grace.

Thus, the need for space, for quiet, for solitude, for silence.

I have been on the journey to the true self for several years now, intentionally focusing on this because of SoulFeast,  the 5 day Academy, and the 2 Year Academy. The quote I shared yesterday from Nouwen spoke about the false self and how solitude is the furnace of transformation.

In the chapter on solitude, Nouwen goes into detail on this, sharing the example of Christ in solitude in the desert for 40 days and how Christ affirmed God as his only source of identity (16).

What strength, what power, what affirmation-- to affirm God as one's only source of identity.  Whew.  If it took Christ 40 days in the desert to arrive there, how can my 12-15-20-30 minutes of silence and solitude get me there?!?!  Am I willing to go through the furnace of transformation (solitude) to remember whose and who I am?  I need that.  I need that in order to simply be.  More importantly, I need that in order to live, love, and lead.  But, am I willing to make it a priority?  I've gotten better at creating this space over the years, but it's an area that can continue to grow.

If my identity isn't rooted in whose I am, then I have nothing to offer of any signficance to others.  This takes focus and intentionality.

That is why I have continued to attempt to grow in my silence and solitude journey, in my overall faith journey.

Nouwen reminds that "ministry can be fruitful only if it grows out of a direct and intimate encounter with our Lord." (21)

"Solitude is thus the place of purification and transformation, the place of the great struggle and the great encounter." (22)

"... it is the place where we want to lead all who are seeking the light in this dark world." (22)

Nouwen's writings on compassion align with those of Frank Rogers from this summer's retreat.  Nouwen writes: "Compassion is the fruit of solitude and the basis of all ministry." (24)''

Food for thought: "When we are filled with God's merciful presence, we can do nothing other than minister because our whole being witnesses to the light in the darkness." (28)

Though I've also read the chapter on silence, that's enough for tonight.  It's been a long day.

Peace and blessings on your journey,

Debra

Sacred Spaces for quiet and listening

I looked back to see when was the last blog post I wrote and it was November 2nd.  That says something to me about how busy I've been these past two months.

Yes, it has been the Advent season and things get busy in the ministry during that time.

But it has been more than that.  There have been unexpected things that have caused me to need to take on extra duties.  Though that has been a huge learning curve, time consuming, and difficult, God has blessed in the midst of it.

What I have needed to do during this time is to be much more intentional than normal to carve out time for quiet and listening. It hasn't been easy.

There have been three spaces in the past couple of weeks that have helped me. (In addition to all the time in my "rolling sanctuary".)

Once a month I see my spiritual director.  She always has wonderful Christmas decorations set up.  This year the manger scene wasn't quite all put together yet, but there was a camel from another set in the back of it.  The candle she lit for our time together had a representation of the magi coming to see the child.  Though I can't remember everything and I didn't take the time later to jot down notes in my journal, I know that God met me there that day and assured me that all is well and God is in control.  God also reminded me that a sense of humor throughout it all is a good thing.

I attended a Longest Night Service on December 21st.  There were several in the area that night and during the week.  At first I wasn't going to go to a service, but then I realized that I really wanted and needed to go.  I attended a church where I have provided pulpit supply in the past.  It was good to simply "be", to "be still" and hear from God through the pastor, the Scripture, the music.

On Friday, December 23rd, I attended the Centering Prayer group at Grace Episcopal Church.  I haven't been in a very long time.  It was great to be back.  Even though I've been doing Centering Prayer on my own, there is something to doing it in a group.  Plus, I rarely do a 30 minute sit on my own.  Being with group for the prayer time and then listening to Richard Rohr's "Dancing with the Divine" CD was another needed space for me.  There were several things that stood out to me in the portion we listened to during our time.

Each of these were sacred spaces for me for quiet and listening.  Much needed spaces.  I know that I cannot give from what I do not have.  I need to continue to make sure that I am receiving from the Source so that I can offer the Source.  It is a matter of being intentional, especially when things get more hectic and difficult.

Several months ago I was feeling the nudge to sign up for a silent retreat in January.  If I were to go to it, I wouldn't be able to also attend Resurrection with the youth.  I was conflicted and unsure.  After praying it through, I finally decided to sign up for the silent retreat-- 4 days of (almost all) silence.  The retreat, The Big Silence, is based on Henri Nouwen's The Way of the Heart and the teachings (non-silence) will be on silence, solitude, and prayer.  As I started reading the book in preparation for the retreat, it was an affirmation that this retreat is exactly what I needed for quiet and listening, for myself and for me as a leader.  I am glad that I listened to the nudge(s).  I look forward to the upcoming sacred space.

A quote from the book:

 "The story of St. Anthony, as told by St. Athanasius, shows that we must be made aware of the call to let our false, compulsive self be transformed into the new self of Jesus Christ. It also shows that solitude is the furnace in which this transformation takes place. Finally, it reveals that it is from this transformed or converted self that real ministry flows." (10) 

The retreat will be held at a new location for me, St. Francis Springs Prayer Center, in Stoneville, NC.

What sacred spaces for quiet and listening have been part of your journey in the past couple of months?

May there be spaces for quiet and listening as we journey forward.

Blessings on your journey,

Debra