Yes, it has been the Advent season and things get busy in the ministry during that time.
But it has been more than that. There have been unexpected things that have caused me to need to take on extra duties. Though that has been a huge learning curve, time consuming, and difficult, God has blessed in the midst of it.
What I have needed to do during this time is to be much more intentional than normal to carve out time for quiet and listening. It hasn't been easy.
There have been three spaces in the past couple of weeks that have helped me. (In addition to all the time in my "rolling sanctuary".)
Once a month I see my spiritual director. She always has wonderful Christmas decorations set up. This year the manger scene wasn't quite all put together yet, but there was a camel from another set in the back of it. The candle she lit for our time together had a representation of the magi coming to see the child. Though I can't remember everything and I didn't take the time later to jot down notes in my journal, I know that God met me there that day and assured me that all is well and God is in control. God also reminded me that a sense of humor throughout it all is a good thing.
I attended a Longest Night Service on December 21st. There were several in the area that night and during the week. At first I wasn't going to go to a service, but then I realized that I really wanted and needed to go. I attended a church where I have provided pulpit supply in the past. It was good to simply "be", to "be still" and hear from God through the pastor, the Scripture, the music.
On Friday, December 23rd, I attended the Centering Prayer group at Grace Episcopal Church. I haven't been in a very long time. It was great to be back. Even though I've been doing Centering Prayer on my own, there is something to doing it in a group. Plus, I rarely do a 30 minute sit on my own. Being with group for the prayer time and then listening to Richard Rohr's "Dancing with the Divine" CD was another needed space for me. There were several things that stood out to me in the portion we listened to during our time.
Each of these were sacred spaces for me for quiet and listening. Much needed spaces. I know that I cannot give from what I do not have. I need to continue to make sure that I am receiving from the Source so that I can offer the Source. It is a matter of being intentional, especially when things get more hectic and difficult.
Several months ago I was feeling the nudge to sign up for a silent retreat in January. If I were to go to it, I wouldn't be able to also attend Resurrection with the youth. I was conflicted and unsure. After praying it through, I finally decided to sign up for the silent retreat-- 4 days of (almost all) silence. The retreat, The Big Silence, is based on Henri Nouwen's The Way of the Heart and the teachings (non-silence) will be on silence, solitude, and prayer. As I started reading the book in preparation for the retreat, it was an affirmation that this retreat is exactly what I needed for quiet and listening, for myself and for me as a leader. I am glad that I listened to the nudge(s). I look forward to the upcoming sacred space.
A quote from the book:
"The story of St. Anthony, as told by St. Athanasius, shows that we must be made aware of the call to let our false, compulsive self be transformed into the new self of Jesus Christ. It also shows that solitude is the furnace in which this transformation takes place. Finally, it reveals that it is from this transformed or converted self that real ministry flows." (10)
What sacred spaces for quiet and listening have been part of your journey in the past couple of months?
May there be spaces for quiet and listening as we journey forward.
Blessings on your journey,
Debra
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