Preparations for ministry...playing Hide and Seek

Over the past several months, possibly even years (if I'm honest enough to look back and if I have memory enough to recall), through conversations with numerous people, I continue to hear the words (said or written one way or another): 'that sounds like preparation for ministry to me'.

Some of those comments have been more direct, actual several different people, have actually gone beyond "ministry" in general to saying or implying the role of pastor. 

I wonder how many times I need to hear it in order to believe it?  The truth is, I can't see it.  Well, that's not quite the truth.  I can see it, but I can't see it.  What can I see?  I can see me teaching.  I can see me preaching.  I enjoy speaking God's Word.  I enjoy preparing a message that God has put on my heart, mind, and soul to share.  ("enjoy" is a little strong here, because sometimes there isn't enjoyment-- it's hard work, and there is a slight bit of fear and trepidation to say what I feel called to say).  Anway.....  I have a passion for seeing people learn and grow.  Period.  In life.  Whether that is learning a language, learning what their passion for life is and pursuing it, or growing in their spiritual journey.  I enjoy walking that path, even though it can be a difficult, arduous, even hellacious path at times. 

What precipated this commentary?  The other day I went to a meeting I thought was meeting, to learn we weren't meeting.  While I'm learning we're not meeting, I'm talking to the one person and not really acknowledging the others except for with a slight hello.  Then, I explain that I'm slightly out of whack, sleep deprived, working to keep a little person on task on her big Science Fair Project, etc.  Feeling a little guilty for having slighted this person, I sent a note of apology.

Her response: "All sounds like good prep for life as a pastor if you ask me." 

My response:  HMPPHH!!  Okay, that was my first response.  Then, I started thinking about how often I keep hearing this......  and what came into my mind next was the game of Hide and Seek.

Everyone knows how to play that game, right?  One person is designated as the counter/finder.  Everyone else goes and hides.  The counter counts to the designated number and then says, "Ready or not, here I come" and then goes to find each person.  That's how the game is supposed to be played. 

When I read my friend's response and the game popped into my head, it seemed to me that there was a different version of this game being played.  It feels like God is saying to me, "Ready or not, here you come."  And, I stop to scratch my head for a moment.  And laugh.  It makes sense in a way.  Most things in my life happen in odd ways. 

One, I learned "never say never" WAY before Justin Beiber ever sang about it.  And, for very different reasons.  I said I would "never" be a teacher.  And, I taught for 24 years.  When I look back at my life, I really taught for more of that as I was "Head" of the Archery Department at Camp Skyline and Saddlerock (following in Rainey and Felicia's footsteps!)  I taught swimming and sports, and ropes courses as well at camp.  When I was a little kid, I put my younger brother in a desk and gave him math lessons.  So, unbeknownst to me, I was a teacher long before I recognized it.

So, back to hide and seek.  I've not really been hiding. Truly I've been actively seeking, searching, asking, listening, and waiting.  I have acted upon those things which I believe I was supposed to do.  Yet, I do continue to wrestle with this question of ministry. 

As I feel called to help people in their spiritual journey-- spiritual formation, growth, discipleship, etc.-- and as I recognize the gifts of teaching and leadership and language skills, I wonder how to put it all together in such a way for ministry.  That's the missing puzzle for me.  There is no box-top for me at this time.  There is no map to follow.  I'm called to make the map.  One of the books for "Equipping the Laity" this semester hits this right on: Missional Map-Making: Skills for Leading in Times of Transition by Alan J. Roxburgh.

I've read it through once and am re-reading my notes in it currently.  There is one major thing missing in this book: my map.  I know, I know.  It's not going to be that easy. 

All I know to do is to keep on keeping on.  Keep learning, keep seeking, keep listening and to respond to what I feel God asking/pushing/telling/ me to do.  If you look at the path I'm on and have been on, it doesn't look "typical" for someone going in to ministry.  Actually, if I were to be honest, my life's path might not look "typical" on any level.  But that's okay, it's my journey.  It's my adventure.  And it doesn't have to be "typical" (in my opinion). 

To become a pastor in my denomination, there are steps to take (as with any denomination).  It's all listed out in the Book of Discipline, starting in paragraph 311 on page 209.  I'm not on that journey yet.  Or, at least, not per the guidelines set in the Book of Discipline.  To be perfectly honest with self and others, I believe that I am on that journey.  There have been quite a few things pointing to it.  (Okay, there are quite a few of you reading this who will say, "DUH!"  Go ahead.)  Whether or not I end up as a "pastor", I do sense that I'm being prepared for something.  It's scary, honestly.  But, for now, I'm going to stay the path in front of me, following the lead of my Guide on this journey.  What does the Lord require of me?  To to act justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with my God.  (Micah 6:8, edited) That is what I will try to do.  

Even though I thought the game of hide and seek was supposed to be, 'Ready or not, here I come.', for me, I'm learning that it is 'Ready or not, here you come.'

It is definitely an adventurous journey!

May your day be blessed with some fond childhood memories,

~Debra