Stepping out in faith, out of my comfort zone...the refiner's fire

I talk about it quite a bit, I encourage others to do it all the time.  But, when it comes down to me doing it, well, let's say it's a little more difficult.  Even a tad-bit nerve-wracking.  Surprise?!?!  It's true, I do have a limit to my comfort zone.  Even though I'm adventurous and a risk-taker, I have my limits.  Or, at least it takes me a while to go beyond those limits.  Sometimes limits are set by my personal fears-- fears of not being able to do it all or do it well.  Sometimes the limits are not fear-based, but trust based, or lack there of. 

I've known this time was coming.  I've talked about it in the past.  But, it's here.  I'm embarking on several new adventures, all at once.  And, frankly, that's putting me out of my comfort zone. 

I knew Camp Lookout was coming up.  I'm to be a MIR (Minister in Residence) for a week.  I'm excited to be going back to camp.  I grew up in camps since I was 6 years old, up until I was 20 years old.  Camp was a HUGE part of my life!  I learned about God, relationships, sharing, how to do many activities, how to teach, how to take care of campers, etc.  Now, as an adult, I get to go back.  Yet, in a different role.  This time, I'm Ellen.  Now, for you Camp Skyline old timers, you'll get the reference.  For everyone else, it means I'm the person sharing the devotions.  It's a little scary for me.  I've been reading the Scripture verses and the curriculum, all the while trying to chill and be still as I prepare.

The week following Camp Lookout, I begin my 2 year Academy journey with the bilingual academy.  I'm super excited about that experience as well.  Speaking Spanish, worshiping in Spanish, meeting folks from all over, spending time learning from faculty, getting some silence and solitude time.  Oh, yeah!!  Yet, at the same time, I know this journey is going to change me.  Or, at least I will have the opportunity to change.  How can one not change when traveling an intentional journey of spiritual formation?  And, though I advocate change and growth, I'm a little bit nervous. 

To add to the mix, I've recently accepted the position of Director of Missions at my church.  I'm super excited about this new opportunity, yet nervous about it as well.  The list of expectations on the job description are huge!  There is no way a part time person can do all that.  So, I accepted the position with excitement and a little fear. ☺

I'm okay with fear.  For one, it helps me realize that I'm not in charge, control.  Any one of these things is bigger than me.  Put them together, well... it's definitely time to go through the refiner's fire.  But, wait a minute.  Wasn't I here before?  Why does it seem that I'm always going through the refiner's fire?  It's because I am.  And, it's because I need it.  There is so much iniquity, impurity, dross (whatever term you want to put here), that I need constant purification through the refiner's fire.  Stepping out in faith, out of my comfort zone, into these areas of intentional growth and service are definite ways to ensure that I won't stagnate on the journey.

What about you?  Are you continuing to put yourself into situations that cause you to step out in faith, out of your comfort zone?  Are you allowing the refiner's fire to cleanse you?

I have a long way to go on this journey before I will ever look like the One I am following.  However, I hope to become more like my model each day.

Blessings on your journey,

~Debra

Lyrics to "Refiner's Fire" by Brian Doerksen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Y8zP34AhuU

Purify my heart
Let me be as gold and precious silver
Purify my heart
Let me be as gold, pure gold

Refiner's fire
My heart's one desire
Is to be holy
Set apart for You, Lord
I choose to be holy
Set apart for You, my Master
Ready to do Your will

Purify my heart
Cleanse me from within
And make me holy
Purify my heart
Cleanse me from my sin
Deep within