The Deeper Journey: The Spirituality of Discovering Your True Self

I finished reading Robert (Bob) Mulholland's book, The Deeper Journey: The Spirituality of Discovering Your True Self.  I had taken it with me to the board meeting in Minnesota and to SOULfeast.  This book is a sequel, in a way, to Invitation to a Journey: A Roadmap for Spiritual Formation.  You don't necessarily need to read them in sequence, but I highly recommend both books and I would start with the "invitation" before going "deeper".

This isn't a light read.  At least it wasn't for me. 

Over the past several years, I've been learning to face myself, to look inside, to be honest with myself, and to attempt to live into my true self.  I have read books that have spoken to how knowing oneself, especially one's dark side and weaknesses, is important to leadership: Overcoming the Dark Side of Leadership: The Paradox of Personal Dysfunction by Gary L. McIntosh and Samuel D. Rima, Sr. and Inside the Leader's Head: Unraveling Personal Obstacles to Ministry by Virginia Todd Holeman and Stephen L. Martyn are two examples of books that taught me much and helped me see myself more clearly, and hopefully to grow some. 

This growth process and looking inside is an ongoing one along the journey.  Mulholland has been instrumental in my life through his books and through his teaching at the Academy to help me clarify some things and to grow.

Here are some things that stood out to me in The Deeper Journey (with thoughts sprinkled in along the way):

Every chapter opens with a prayer that is open and honest.  These prayers are worth checking out, praying, and simply reflecting upon.  These prayers can bring about some change and transformation.

As I read through this book, there were things that reminded me of Paul Smith's book, Integral Christianity: The Spirit's Call to Evolve.  Specifically, for example: "Jesus is indicating that the purpose of the Christian life is a life of loving union with God at the depths of our being." (Mulholland, 14)  This refers to Jesus' prayer in John 17, verses 20-23 where Jesus prays for the people.  Later in the book, on page 74, Mulholland writes this: "God has created us to be partakers of the divine nature, as Peter puts it (2 Pet 1:4), to find our wholeness in the very being of God, to be restored to fullness in the image of God, to live in loving union with God." This is another aspect that reminds me of Smith's book.  Maybe it's time to take another look at some of the more difficult portions of that book again. 

"Union with God results in our being a person through whom God's presence touches the world with forgiving, cleansing, healing, liberating and transforming grace." (16)

To be someone who can touch the world with this type of grace....WOW!  Now, that's powerful.  And, it's a result of being united with God, in relationship with God, with God living in us.  Yet, so often we don't live into that powerful opportunity.  Neither for ourselves nor for others.  Allowing God's transforming grace to flow into us and through us is a humbling and life changing matter.

Mulholland suggests early on in the book that as one reads the book, "make yourself available to God and give God permission to do whatever God wants to do in your life through this book." (22)

That is dangerous permission.  Allowing God to do whatever it is God wants to do in my life?!?!  Not only through the reading of this book, but through other venues, avenues, etc. as well?!?!  That's a risky, vulnerable, and simply dangerous place to be.   But, it's also an exciting place to be.  I think that is why attempting to live into my true self by putting to death the false self appeals to me and why 'going deeper' on this journey of faith continues to call to me.

"God's purpose for us was not simply to forgive sins but to transform our false self-- to cleanse all its unrighteousness, to make us righteous, to restore us to our true self in loving relationship with God and in being Christlike in the world." (23)

Mulholland unpacks the false self and the true self, providing personal examples throughout the book to help us see what the false self looks like in action.  Though we may have recognized it in ourselves, it helps to see a fellow journeyer be honest and transparent along the way.  It helps us to know that we are not alone and that we can work through and overcome the struggles we face.

The false self is fearful, protective, possessive, manipulative, destructive, self-promoting, indulgent, and distinction-making.  (That covers pages 30-42 in the book.)

On page 48, this paragraph spoke to me as a warning: "For those of us on an intentional spiritual journey, our awareness of the deadly and debilitating nature of the religious false self is essential.  Rigorous religious practices, devoted discipleship, sacrificial service, deeper devotional activities may do nothing more than turn a nominally religious false self into a fanatically religious false self."

On page 50, this paragraph, if lived out, seems to give life and freedom: "In a very real sense the crux of our journey from our religious false self to our true self is an ever deepening abandonment of the construct we call "God" and an ever more profound willingness for God to be whatever God will be in our life at any given moment."

There is so much more in this book. 

I hope that I am truly "on a genuine quest for radical abandonment to God in love" (as Mulholland states several times) and not just thinking that's where I am and what I'm doing.  It's definitely a check point to keep in mind along the journey. 

Each chapter offers helpful questions for reflection at the end.  Chapter 7 discusses "Principles of the Deeper Life". 

I don't know if you are at a place of hungering and thirsting to go deeper in your journey or if this book speaks to you in any way.  It spoke to me.

Wherever you are in your journey, may you be able to take the next step that is shown to you and may you grow in grace with your relationship with the Creator and creation.

Blessings on your journey,

Debra

P.S.  I forgot to read the "Epilogue" earlier.  I just read it.  I was struck by it.  In particular this description of the deeper journey:

"It is a journey into the unfathomable wholeness of a life in loving union with God, a life of inexpressible joy, a life of unshakable peace, a life of world-shaking power, a life of infectious integrity, a life of healing grace, a life of transforming love." (163)

I'm not 100% there yet, but this is my desire-- to live into a life that is described above as the deeper journey.  That statement encapsulates how I desire and strive to live, though I often fall short of the mark.

dd