You might think since July would have been a time for Academy that I would have felt the effects then. But, I was in a very buffered and safe zone at the time. I had a board meeting with Fellowship of United Methodist Spiritual Directors and Retreat Leaders (Hearts on Fire) and I attended SoulFeast at Lake Junaluska, NC (sponsored by The Upper Room). So I didn't really feel the effects of missing my quarterly trek to Florida.
I meet with my spiritual director monthly. That is something I started prior to the Academy. That has been a tremendous blessing in my spiritual journey. I go later this week.
When I'm able to do so, I join with a group of folks for centering prayer. After the time of prayer, we either read slowly through a book or watch a video clip and discuss what we've read or heard. I've only made it to one of the sessions recently because of my schedule and responsibilities. The video we're currently watching is Richard Rohr talking on "Breathing Under Water". The time I went, his words spoke to me exactly where I was. I hope to get back to that group this week.
I have my time walking in the woods, in creation.
There are times of reading, silence, and solitude at home.
I've even started reading my 3rd Robert Mulholland book, Shaped by the Word: The Power of Scriptural Formation, to assist my formational growth. Though I've been working on growing formationally for several years, this book is helpful and timely for me now.
Yet, there still seems to be something missing.
And, I think it might have something to do with the bilingual atmosphere. From the participants and speakers from Puerto Rico to our incredible worship time.
It may also have to do with the worship atmosphere-- the themed altars and worship space with Jesus always there, dressed and ready for the occasion.
I'm sure it has something to do with the table fellowship and the covenant group time.
And, I know it has something to do with what became sacred space for me, the Life Enrichment Center. From my personal space that became "home", the labyrinth, the chapel, the Path of Silence, to the docks, to the nature trail, to seeing alligators, etc.
I still "owe" my Academy evaluation to Donna.... it's coming. I think you'll see that the Academy had a profound effect on me, from the moment I learned there was a bilingual 2 year Academy even being offered at the 5 day I attended to the first session through each and every session.
I know my life has changed. I have slowed down in many ways. I have given up control.... or rather, I am learning and attempting to give up control and allow God to guide my steps. ☺ There is more peace... most days.
Yet, even now as I write, there is the rumbling of restlessness once again. Is it because I am experiencing withdrawals? Or is there some message deep inside attempting to work its way out? It hasn't just been today.... it's been coming on for several days now. Speaking Spanish with the Ecuador Manta group in Branson, MO helped some.... especially while listening to them play spiritual songs on their instruments. That touched a deep place.
Writing one of my covenant group peeps to let them know I was experiencing Academy withdrawals helped. ☺ Unfortunately, I'm unable to go to the 5 day in Puerto Rico next Spring or the 5 day in Florida.
Being in community with fellow believers here helps too. Sunday was a great day for that! In two different worship communities!
Yet, somehow, I just can't shake the feeling that there is some shaping going on inside of me. Shaping and changing that hasn't been made clear to me just yet. Preparations for who knows what?!?!
All I know to do at this time for me to stay focused is to live into this: "Be still, and know that I am God." ~Psalm 46:10
Blessings on your journey!
Debra
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