Christmas Dreams is a Cantata by Joseph M. Martin and Heather Sorenson. The first time I heard this Cantata was Christmas 2019. I was serving St. Elmo UMC since the previous July and it was my dream appointment. I don't think I will ever forget District Superintendent Randy Martin calling me up in the spring of 2019 and telling me sometimes we get what we ask for. I was so excited. St. Elmo UMC was my dream appointment because it was a Reconciling Ministries Network church and I could be the pastor and parent I am called to be-- authentically and openly. I had the privilege to narrate Christmas Dreams that year and it was powerfully moving to me. The words in the narration and the words in the song-- all of it. Not only was it my dream appointment, but I knew my kiddo would be accepted there, loved there. That meant a ton for me as a parent. So, on practice for that Cantata in 2019 and on the evening of, I choked up. I teared up. I cried. There was healing from the love and light of the Christ child.
Fast forward through a pandemic, some rough patches of coming back from a pandemic, some people in leadership working diligently to "overthrow" their pastor. Okay, "overthrow" might be too strong of a word. Maybe "get rid of" is a better term. These aren't things one talks about. These are things one keeps quiet, deals with through spiritual direction, therapy, Staff Parish, good friends and colleagues, etc. I had good outlets in those days, but it wasn't enough. There were even good things going on in ministry through the difficult things. However, it took its toll on me. I continued to serve, accept, love, and teach to the best I could as long as I was in that appointment. I went on family leave in 2022 (a huge God-directed thing to serve my parents and their businesses). I continued therapy, spiritual direction, spiritual supervision, and the spiritual direction program I was in through Columbia Theological Seminary.
I told colleagues I would pulpit supply, but not for a good six months. I didn't go to church for a good six months at all, except for Bamboo Encounter, an outdoor worship service. Healing took place and continues to take place.
Fast forward again to this year's Christmas Cantata at Burks UMC, my sending church and the church where we attend most Sundays. The Christmas Cantata was Christmas Dreams. I sat in the sanctuary listening to the narration and singing. As I heard about the healing love and light of the Christ child, I noticed tears coming down from my eyes.
This Cantata has brought deep healing into my life. Twice. The first time there was healing to be in a place of love where I could serve, accept, love, and teach.... and be the unique person that Creator had created me to be. Though that didn't quite turn out to be the dream I had hoped for, I have nothing but love for that place.
The second time I heard the Cantata, I could sense the healing deep within. As I listened to the lyrics of the song "Christmas Dreams", I found myself thinking "can I begin to dream again?" The words: "Child of healing, Child of hope, take the things that hurt us most...." Those words penetrated deep within me to a place that caused me to ask myself "can I begin to dream again?" The answer is yes. I knew it as tears rolled down my cheeks.
Healing continues to take place in me and through me. I know it. I know it because of therapy, spiritual direction, spiritual supervision, the spiritual direction program I completed. Truly, healing is an ongoing part of life, of growth.
Because I couldn't get all the words jotted down during the Cantata, I borrowed one of the Cantata books recently so I could share the lyrics (because I couldn't find them online).
Heather Sorenson wrote the words to "Christmas Dreams", inspired and adapted from an anonymous poem "Miracle Dreams". Here are the words most meaningful to me:
"Child of healing, Child of hope, take the things that hurt us most, and with Your touch they'll be redeemed, Holy Child of Christmas dreams"
Some of the narration that is meaningful:
"In these sacred moments, we have joined our songs and spirits together to recall the birth of Jesus, the Messiah. We have heard the good news, and we are forever changed. We are now free to hope, believe, and become all that were meant to be. Let us being the true work of Christmas and dare to dream of a better world, a greater joy, a deeper faith. Let us celebrate the graceful promises that are ours in Christ Jesus. Let us hold on to the divine hope that pursues us through every challenge of heart and each illness of the mind and body. Let us rest secure in the grace that brings peace that is beyond all understanding." (99)
"And now, dreamers, rise and shine, for your light has come! Hope now dazzles where once there was only darkness! Love now sings where once there was only silence! Joy now celebrates where once there was only sorrow! Go now in peace, and take the dream of Christmas to all the world!" (109)
Another song's lyrics that are meaningful are these to "A Gentle Christmas Blessing" written by Joseph M. Martin. Here are some of those lyrics:
the warmth of the home and hearth to you.
The cheer and good will of friends to you,
hope of a child-like heart to you.
The hope of peace and grace to you,
a safe and welcome place to you.
The music of a thousand angels be yours tonight, be yours in Christ.
May love and joy abound in all of life,
God's love and joy surround your life."
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