I wanted to flesh that out a little more.
You see, I am a kid at heart and soul. Now, if you know me, that isn't news to you. Maybe you've picked up on that even if you haven't met me in person and you've been reading my blog. I've known it too. Yet, I've had a difficult time accepting myself for who I am in that realm because playing and enjoying life isn't always looked upon favorably by society.
Even so, I've still done it. When I've felt led, I've done things with abandon in my heart..... like go up on stage as a "child" (child of God) to hear the Bishop (Swanson, at the time) read a story (The Spyglass) at Annual Conference. My spirit said "go", but I was hesitant. I went, though a little nervous. I didn't look back. I later learned that some teens came up and joined myself and the younger crowd.
I have spent time on swings and slides at parks. I enjoy the simple things of life.
*[These next three pictures are from the 5 Day Academy in TN, Camp Garner Creek, 2010, when I played on the tall metal slide, the red slide, and the swings.]
This past week at the retreat, in the inner workings of my "soil" / soul, I have finally come to peace with the fact that as a child of God, it is okay to play, to enjoy God's creation, to enjoy life, etc. And it's okay to do so in front of others. You see, in the past, I might only let my playful side come out when I was by myself or totally in my comfort zone. But, what is new for me is that I'm learning to be the "me" I was created to be at all times. Period. It is okay to be this me and I am not ashamed of how God created me. I said "learning. I'm not there 100 % yet. And, I know there are times for play and times that aren't for play.
What it feels like is that I have emerged, that the caterpillar has come out of its chrysalis and that I'm not flying in freedom.
I saw this butterfly on the road the day of silence. Though it is dead, it still symbolizes emergence and flight into freedom for me. The journey of a butterfly's transformation and metamorphosis lasts longer than its time as a butterfly. Yet the flight into freedom is worth all the time in the darkness, the learning, the growing, the awareness, the transformation. The analogy to a caterpillar, chrysalis, and butterfly don't fully work for our spiritual life, but you get the idea. Our transformed flight lasts longer than the life of the butterfly, prayerfully.
I noticed that the inner change was becoming complete and whole this past week at the FUMSDRL / HOF retreat (Christ the King Retreat Center) when I walked out from noon prayer and was heading to lunch. Right before my very eyes was the luscious, verdant lawn with arching water sprinklers soaring above the ground in perfect arches. I hesitated for a slight moment. I dropped my books, emptied my pockets, and took off my nametag and camera from around my neck so that everything would stay dry. Then I took off running into the grass. Through the first sprinkler I went, getting wet. Then I jumped over the next one, and the next one, and so on. I must have run and jumped over at least 5 or 6 sprinklers over the lawn. It felt GREAT! I felt free and I enjoyed my burst of play. The best part of it was that it fit my skin, so to speak, and that because I had responded to the call within my spirit, I was whole.
Play is an important part of life and we are all truly children of God. I realize that we each live into that play in different ways. Give me simple or give me adventure, anywhere from blowing bubbles to zip lining or hang gliding.
So, today, when Slava Korsak ended the concert with the benediction: "We are all children of God; be kids, everybody!", I let out an "Amen!" That resonated within my heart, mind, and soul.
Before Slava, there was someone else that spoke of us being children of the Kingdom. Oh, yeah... Jesus. ☺. And, I take that seriously.
Play is a spiritual discipline that keeps me alive and in touch with who I am and whose I am. It doesn't replace any of the other spiritual disciplines (practices), but it is an important one that I need to remember to incorporate.
And, because it is more than just a spiritual discipline for me... it is how I am wired... I can live into being the "me" I was uniquely created to be... without apology or shame.
So, when the praise band ramps us "How Wonderful" at the very end of the 2nd service today and then goes into "I'll Fly Away".... can you guess what I did?!?! I "flew". Yep. I "flew" for a few moments around the sanctuary. I always want to fly when I hear that song. But I don't. I did today because most folks were gone out of the sanctuary. And, because I am attempting to live more authentically and with higher integrity when the spirit leads me into play.
It requires listening. Listening caused me to take bubbles with to the retreat last week. I wasn't fully sure why. But when I kept hearing the words "bubbling up" the first two days, I knew I was to offer them to my listening group. I did. I was a little anxious what they might think of the bubbles, but because I knew it wasn't really me offering the bubbles, I listened and obeyed. Would you be surprised if I told you that God affirmed to me that God was truly in the bubbles?!?! Even I enjoyed my personal time with the bubbles!
Another way I played this week was on the musical instrument trail at Buffalo Lake. Oh, what joy in playing those instruments along the lake. I'll share more about that wonderful and creative trail with you at another time. But, I will say that my most fun moment was when I played the colorful set of bongo type drums up by the playground next to a toddler on the chimes. She and I made music together, taking turns with our sounds. That was joyful!
How do you live into play? What does it take for you to make time for play? There is definitely freedom in play.
So, play! Remember that we are all children of God. Be kids, everybody!
Blessings on your journey,
Debra
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