How is it with your soil?

Often I will ask folks the question, "how is it with your soul?"  That's a normal question when you are asking about the state of being of one's spiritual life and well being. 

As of today, I have a new question:  "how is it with your soil?" 

Yeah, I know.  The play on words is slightly corny.  Okay, more than slightly.  But here's the explanation.

Our theme for the FUMSDRL / HOF retreat this week is: "Tending the Tension Between Being and Doing".  Terry Hershey from Seattle, Washington is the speaker.

 

What a refreshing, authentic, funny, personable, real, down-to-earth guy.  He is also Episcopalian and a gardener.  You might ask what the last two have to do with anything... and my response is that I grew up Episcopalian and it's part of my heritage.  The gardening part, well, that's where the soil comes in.

Part of our opening worship time tonight was a "Laying of the Altar" where we brought in our various soils from our states.  There are folks here from Texas, Tennessee, Washington, North Carolina, Iowa, Ohio, Arizona, Colorado, and Delaware, and I'm not sure where all else (I'm still learning). 

In Terry's opening session, he talked a little more about dirt (his preferred word for "soil") and mentioned that "compost" is too nice a word for what it is.... now I have a new word to use in place of the other one that comes out..... If you hear me say "compost", well.... never mind.

We reflected on our dirt during worship time and Terry asked us to reflect more on our dirt during his opening time.  I reflected upon what was in my dirt.... what did I bring to the table?  As I reflected on this, what came to mind is the "unknown".  For me, that's neither a negative or a positive at this moment.  It simply is.  For the most part, I have peace with that, though at times, I do get a tad anxious. 

Terry reminded us that we pause because pausing lets us begin, it allows us to connect, and because of the pause, the light within us (that is already shining) is allowed to be seen.  The light cannot be seen if we are too busy to stop, look, and listen. 

So, today's word is "pause".  And this week is a "pause" for me.  As I reflect upon my "soil" that I brought with me and the unknown within, the peace is good.  But then, I realize that growing sense that those native flutes really might not simply be something to listen to, but rather a way to grow in my prayer life personally.  Conversations prior to dinner taught me more about these beautiful instruments and I continue to feel this pull toward the flute.  As I reflect on that, I realize that there is a fear that stops me.  A fear that I might get too close to God in an unfamiliar way and a fear that it might be more powerful and beautiful than I can handle.  Hmm.... interesting. 

At closing prayers tonight, part of the liturgy was "The Woodcarver" translated into English by Thomas Merton.  I had been asked to read a portion.  I read this paragraph:

"Then I went to the forest
To see the trees in their own natural state.
When the right tree appeared before my eyes,
The bell stand also appeared in it, clearly, beyond doubt.
All I had to do was to put forth my hand
And begin."

That section spoke volumes to me.... being in the forest, seeing the trees in their natural state, looking for the right one to appear... but it was the word "begin" that stood out to me from the entire reading.

That is the word I spoke when asked to reflect.  What does this word fully mean?  I don't know.  Let's go back to my unknown in the soil. ☺  Does it mean I'm supposed to begin seeking out God and listening to God through prayer via flute playing?  Though I'm not fully certain, I did get the word I've been searching for to describe how the flute playing touches me.  John Blinn put it into a word for me, "haunting".  That's the word I've been searching for.  The music is hauntingly beautiful.  It strikes a deep chord and allows the spirit to fly freely.  Again, that's from listening.  I don't know yet if I'm to be a flute "prayer".  I am willing to test that though.

There is another "begin" I have in my soul soil.  But I cannot fathom beginning any further type of studies or programs at this time, so I don't know how in the world or when this can actually come to fruition.  But, I know that beginning a spiritual direction course of study or program is part of my future.  Finding the one that fits my life at the right time is the key.  There is one that is a soul care program, but I've not met anyone who has been through it.  It is something to check into. 

In the introduction to "The Woodcarver", Ann mentioned that it was the 'work before the work' that prepared the soul.  Ah.... well that makes total sense to me!  God gave me SOULfeast to prepare me for the work that is being done this week.  GULP!!  There was quite a bit of soil/soul preparation last week, so I continue to wonder what God is up to in me and through me. 

I am grateful for the gift of pause.

I am grateful for the gift of silence.

I am blessed to be able to tend to this crucial aspect of leadership.  Not just one week, but two weeks of tending to the soul of leadership.  My soul.  What a gift.

How is it with my soil?  It is rich and nourished.  It is also being tilled, planted into with seeds of life, and watered.  I am expecting new life to grow from within. ☺

How is it with your soil?

Blessings on your journey,

Debra

P.S.  Another gift is/was tonight's glimpse of the sunset: