October is flying by... reflections on life

I don't know about you, but October is flying by for me.  Today is October 16th and this is my first blog post of the month.  What?!?!  Yes, it's true.

This morning's sky caught my attention with the blue attempting to break through in-between the jagged edges of the white and grey clouds.  The sky is now clear blue with some wispy thin whiteness interspersed in places.

I have so many things swirling around in my heart, mind, and soul that I don't really know where to begin.  I have been keeping up with my journaling for the Clergy Vitality Group in which I take part.  We are keeping a silence journal, a reflection of our silence times.  We have an overnight silent retreat coming up in a couple of weeks up at St. Mary's Sewanee. I'm really looking forward to that.

Many quotes that I've seen from Contemplative Photography, Alive Now, Weavings, and Shalem Institute on Facebook have directed me towards silence, reflection, and/or being still.  That continues to be a theme in my journey.  And as I've noted before, I imagine that to be an ongoing one until the end of my days because I find that I need more and more stillness in my life.  Not only do I need it, but I enjoy it.  To simply "be" and to be able to refresh and recharge, to be able to listen and discern.... ah..... this is the beauty of being that gives strength for the doing.

In this morning's reading of Jesus Calling by Sarah Young, a phrase caught my attention--"living channel".  I often think of myself as a "bridge", a bridge person.  I connect people to others and I connect situations.  From the Scriptures, I have used the term "vessel", desiring to be an empty vessel used and filled by God for the sake of others.  But "channel" is new to me.  The devotion is written as Jesus speaking: "When you need comfort, I love to enfold you in My arms. I enable you not only to feel comforted but also to be a channel through whom I comfort others.  Thus you are doubly blessed, because a living channel absorbs some of whatever flows through it."

Hmmm.... that got me thinking.  As a living channel, I not only receive from God, but what I receive is passed along to others.  As I am willing to allow God to flow through me as this living channel, then I will absorb some of that which flows through it.    That flowing can go both ways.  If I am going to be in the midst of ministry as a living channel, there may be some back flow at times.  In those cases, I will trust God with whatever flows into the channel, that it will be used for the good of the Kingdom and the glory of God and God's creation.  What I mean by this is that life has its difficulties and even downright yucky times.  We aren't immune to those nor or we to avoid them.  It's okay to be in the middle of chaos at times and/or rough situations.  I am learning to be still in these times too.  I am learning to allow the chaos to swirl and allow the Creator to let me know when it's time to take the next step.

One more thought for today.  I was encouraged this morning to read Rev. Paul Doehrmann's final sermon.  He was a second career pastor, starting around age 50 and recently retired from preaching in Ossian, IN.  His final sermon was entitled "Soli Deo Gloria-- To God Be the Glory!"  His words were encouraging as was the fact that one of the parishioners at one of the 3 churches in my appointment thought to get a copy of this sermon to me.

My goal is to listen to the One voice and to live my life in such a way that it is evident that it is to God for whom I am living.  I don't always get it right.  In fact, rarely does a day go by when I can say that I've had a perfect day.  But that's okay.  It's not about perfection in the sense of not making mistakes or dropping balls or spinning plates (figuratively).  It's about seeking to know God, love God, serve God.  My heart's desire is to love God and to love others.  In order to do that, I know that I must love myself too.

As a fairly new song (or at least new to me) says, my life isn't falling apart, it's falling into place.  The song is "Just Be Held" by Casting Crowns.

Here are the lyrics:

Hold it all together
Everybody needs you strong
But life hits you out of nowhere
And barely leaves you holding on

And when you're tired of fighting
Chained by your control
There's freedom in surrender
Lay it down and let it go

So when you're on your knees and answers seem so far away
You're not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your world's not falling apart, it's falling into place
I'm on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held

If your eyes are on the storm
You'll wonder if I love you still
But if your eyes are on the cross
You'll know I always have and I always will

And not a tear is wasted
In time, you'll understand
I'm painting beauty with the ashes
Your life is in My hands

Lift your hands, lift your eyes
In the storm is where you'll find Me
And where you are, I'll hold your heart
I'll hold your heart
Come to Me, find your rest
In the arms of the God who won't let go

That's a powerful song that can meet me in a different place, depending on where I happen to be at the time.  How about you?

Being still, being held by the Creator, making that time and space to enjoy BEING in relationship with the One who created me.... that's what gives me the strength to then get out and do.

To God be the glory.

Blessings on your journey,

Debra