Yesterday morning I took my coffee outside on the deck for some quiet time. Quiet time for reflection is important for me everyday, but even more so on Sunday mornings. I need the time and space to empty out any and all things that would get in the way of me being a vessel to share God's message during the service. I try to let go of things that can be put on the "back burner" and make space to be filled so that I can be used for the good of others and the glory of God.
As I stood out on the deck, the fog was thick in the yard and even thicker in the distance.
I felt enveloped by the fog, held close.
Even though fog keeps us from seeing far in front of us, there is that protective sense as it surrounds us. That's not such a bad thing. Seeing too far down the road (metaphorically speaking) could scare the wits out of me. By only being able to see what is right in front of me, I am forced to remain present with what is right here with me. That is a good thing. Learning to be more present with people and in situations is a great lesson. Learning to live into the here and now is another great lesson. Learning to trust that the fog will break open when needed is another. Trust. Faith.
Earlier in the week, I had read and studied for yesterday's sermon and felt it was going in one direction. When I started writing, it went in another direction. Really?!?! I shouldn't have been surprised. It has happened more than once. There are times when a message just bubbles inside and doesn't come out until later. There have been weeks when the message hasn't come out fully and I've preached from sticky notes. Personally, I don't like those. I prefer for things to be more clear. But, I have walked in faith and trust and allowed myself to go out of my comfort zone. I have survived. The messages have turned out pretty decent too, or so others have said. I keep reminding myself that it isn't about me. It's all about God. It's God's message.
The fog lifted yesterday and it turned out to be a gorgeous day.
I was blessed to speak Spanish and French with someone I met for the first time at one of the churches, hear my co-pastor preach part of his message, see him bring in new members, and share with all three churches at a chili lunch sponsored by our youth.
When the fog seems to be all around, remember the good things about it-- the protection, the enveloping, the opportunity to be still and present in the moment. With the fog all around, I could focus on the sounds that seemed more pronounced. I wrote this on my Facebook feed: "The morning view from the deck is fogged in. I hear geese in the distance, making their way somewhere. Droplets of water fall from the branches onto the leaves on the ground. A train blows its horn. Birds chirp and sing in different languages. I am attempting to become present in this day, to what it has to offer, to whatever I am I called to give. "This is the day the Lord has made; I will rejoice and be glad in it." Thinking of friends today who will celebrate life for loved ones and many others with other situations. May the God who comforts be present with all who need comfort!"
I'm speaking to myself here.
But if you find yourself fogged in at some point, maybe these words will help.
Blessings on your journey,
Debra
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