Sunday, August 19, 2018

I'm Still Here-- a deeply moving and thought provoking read


I recently finished the above book. When it was suggested to me, it was unknown to me. It was published in 2018. Maybe that is why it wasn't on my radar.

I have read quite a few books in undergraduate, graduate, and seminary days on racial justice.

My last class in seminary was stacked with books and videos as it was a class on leadership in a multicultural society and setting. We dove deeply into racial justice, white privilege,  bringing people together, recognizing our own prejudices, reconciliation, and bridging relationships.

This book struck me in a different way. I was holding back tears as I read the first few pages and learned how Austin's name was a protective covering, yet it was questioned.

Austin writes, "People's reaction to my name wasn't just about my gender. It was also about my brown skin. [...] She [librarian] didn't know a name like Austin could be stretched wide enough to cloak a little Black girl." (15)

Austin Channing Brown is a fabulous writer, bringing the reader into the story line, experiencing the moment. She tells it like it is and doesn't mince the reality or truth to protect my white self.

I appreciated that. Too often, white skin has claimed privilege or guilt or has been coddled. This book is a realistic view of life.

I am blessed that my 6th grade teacher, Mrs. Massengill, was an excellent role model for me as a teacher, a female teacher of color.

I had a great bus driver, Mr. Mahoney, whom I adored. His daughter and I often sat together and we were about the same age. We aren't super close friends now, but I've got her back if she needs me and I know she has mine. We have been in touch recently.

I had friends in jr. high, high school, college, and students from my professor days from whom I have learned much.

I have a dear friend with whom I would share coffee and conversation about lay speaking ministries until she moved away.

When I was a sophomore in college, a roommate assignment caused a rift in my family because I refused to have it changed. It wasn't an issue for me. When my roommate ended up not coming that fall, it no longer was an issue with family, but it held lasting effects of social and racial justice in my young mind.

Even so, I still have much to learn. The book has taught me that I haven't asked enough questions. I haven't listened enough. The white world has dominated.

You would think with my love of languages and cultures, with my beautiful racially mixed family, with all that I know... you would think I would have done better.

We have all played a role, at some point, in not doing the right thing.

What do I have to say? I'm sorry.

Going forward, I want to be part of the solution; not part of the problem.

I desire to keep inching toward justice, as Austin notes, on page 98.

I hope to use my knowledge, any position I have, my love for others... for good.

Thank you, Austin Channing Brown, for living into your writing!

To my friends and family who have loved me in spite of my whiteness, thank you!

Blessings on your journey,

Debra

P.S. Click on the link to go to Austin's page for book tour information as well as racial justice and reconciliation: austonchanning.com

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