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| Walking on Chester Frost "beach", 2/12/13 dd |
I seem to find myself a few days behind in my devotional reading from time to time. So, today I picked up Jesus Calling (Sarah Young) and turned to where I had left off, February 26. What I noticed right away is that I had previously underlined the first two lines and the last line. Hmmm... I wonder what this has for me today?!?!
February 26
"I AM LEADING YOU, STEP BY STEP, through your life. Hold my hand in trusting dependence, letting Me guide you through this day."
Okay, I get it. I know that (head and heart, most days). I can (mostly, usually) allow God to guide me. But, right now, I'm not really seeing things clearly. What I thought might be coming about, isn't. Yet, the desires and dreams and hopes for it don't dissipate either. So, what about that God?!?!
Uh.... the next line:
"Your future looks uncertain and feels flimsy--even precarious. That is how it should be. Secret things belong to the Lord, and future things are secret things. When you try to figure out the future, you are grasping at things that are Mine."
Hmmm... now, that is some food for thought. As well as an "ouch". I try to live into the unknown, yet I do question and wrestle with things. I thought I was heading into Hispanic ministry, but things don't seem to be coming together for that right now. Is that an issue? It shouldn't be. I have enough on my plate truly for the moment. I am finishing up the 2 year bilingual Academy in April and I'm in seminary working toward the M.Div., almost 2/3 of the way there. So, why does it concern me that I can't see any workings on the Hispanic ministry front? I guess I want to make sure I'm not the stumbling block, that it truly is simply that it isn't the right time and that God is working it out.
Every time I pass that brick house on Hixson Pike, I still see it as a ministry place. How crazy weird is that?!?! (I may not have blogged much about this place.... but it is a house that was on the market and currently isn't.... and I see it as a perfect place for ministry. It is located in a commercially zoned area. I continue to see various things going on in that house. I have even sent a letter to the owner of the house. There has not been a clear next step, though I sometimes think about stopping there to pray.)
Reading on in February 26:
"Whenever you find yourself worrying about the future, repent and return to Me. I will show you the next step forward, and the one after that, and the one after that."
I know that. I tell other people that. ☺ I can only take the next step revealed to me and that is all that I am to focus on. Oh, so right now, all I am really to focus on is finishing the bilingual Academy experience well and my seminary courses (John Wesley for this semester). I finish teaching my BeADisciple class this week too. I think I am finishing that well. And, then when it is time, the next step will be revealed.
Sometimes I get ahead of my own journey. It isn't always easy to remain in the present.
The last line of the devotional for February 26:
"Relax and enjoy the journey in My Presence, trusting Me to open up the way before you as you go."
Okay, I get it. I will try to relax and enjoy, though "relax" and reading 52 John Wesley sermons don't quite go in the same sentence. ☺
But, as far as my ordination journey goes and the outcome..... and ministry in general..... I can let that go (pry those fingers loose!) and allow God to reveal each step to me, step by step. Whew! It is NOT up to me to find the steps or make the steps. I am to "relax" and enjoy the journey as God reveals those next steps to me.
I think a meditative hike in the woods, where you focus step by step might do me some good. That might help me physically slow down enough to coordinate physical and mental and spiritual. Something to consider. Something to look into.
In addition, last night's Bible Study at church, God Provides, focused on Jeremiah 29:11 (and surrounding verses). I think this verse fits in well here.
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
One of the verses listed for the February 26 devotion is Psalm 32:8--"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you."
I don't know about you and your journey. You may be relaxing and enjoying the journey and fully trusting in God for those next steps. Or, you might be having one of those moments of questioning the direction.
I hope the words from the devotional and the thoughts and verses shared will bring encouragement and hope to you, no matter where you are on the journey!
Blessings,
~Debra
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