Living through the transitions, allowing my wings to dry...

April 4, 2013 (look for Chrysalis in top right quandrant, about 2 o'clock).

 

April 6, 2013-- emerged and letting the wings dry

My life continues to be one of ongoing transitions.  I think that is typical for us all along our journey.  Maybe it is more acute at times than others.

Having transitioned from being on the Academy journey to now being out of it, I'm in a "holding pattern" in some ways from that transition.  Likely because it is still so recent.  I'd say that I'm in the stage of having emerged from the chrysalis and allowing my wings to dry before I can fly.  And the image of the chrysalis and the butterfly that emerged during our last week will forever be etched in my memory because it was such a perfect and beautiful example of our journey.... ending, yet beginning.  It was an "accident" that one of the participants brought the chrysalis.  He had cut a rose from his garden to bring and only noticed the chrysalis upon arrival.  It became a sacred moment, a sacrament to me.... and to many.

My grandmother has recently been transferred to an assisted living facility.  This is a transition mainly for her I realize.  Yet, it is one for me as well.  I know that I am called to visit her weekly at her new place of residence.  This means a time of transition in my time management and daily life as I let go of some things to make room for her. 

I was blessed to have three grandmothers growing up.  And, I had special relationships with all three, in different ways.  This grandmother is now at a time and place where she recognizes me, yet sometimes forgets how I fit into the family puzzle.  Last week she asked if I was her niece as they were doing introductions at Citrus Social at the center.  I reminded her I was her grand-daugther.  It's okay with me.  I realized that I don't always know what piece of the puzzle I am in the family of God at times. ☺  Besides, we all fit, regardless of name, size, shape, etc.

This grandmother studied at Emory University and earned her Masters of Christian Education in 1962 after having raised her two daughters by herself for quite a few years.  She was involved in public education and had studied French.  In her earlier years she studied at the Teachers College in Statesboro (now Georgia Southern University).  She was a Stephens Minister in her church.  She was very involved in prayer and Bible Study.  I imagine I owe some thanks to her and her groups and friends for prayers lifted on my behalf over the years.  She showed me by example how to love "the other woman" and never spoke ill of my third grandmother.  That became important to me later in life when I went through things in my first marriage and then when I myself struggled.

So now as she enters a new phase of her life, it is time for me to give back to her.  I can give her my time and my presence.  She may not always know where I fit in, but she seems to recognize me and know me.  So far.  I don't know when that will change.  It doesn't matter.  I will walk this journey with her and with my mom and dad.  I will offer what I have.

Another transition I am going through is the laity/clergy transition.  This is one long transition!! ☺  In many ways I see it more as a merger and personally think that I have been "claity" for a while now.  I have been and will continue to be a bridge between the two.  Yet, I move more into some roles that are more one than the other.  One example for me is in the Emmaus community.  I worked a Women's Walk this past weekend.  I had the honor, privilege, and blessing to be an Assistant Lay Director [ALD] on this walk and to give one of the talks.  It was a wonderful weekend!  Even though I slipped on wet concrete and skinned my knee; even though I almost lost my voice a few times (maybe some would have liked that ☺);  even though a blood vessel popped in my left eyelid for some unknown reason and started bruising on Saturday; even though migraines came the morning of my talk....it was a tremendous weekend!!  I tried to remain as present and as poured out as possible so that God could work in and through me.  This was my last laity position and walk in our community.  I thought about it some, though I tried not to.  I had two community members that came up to serve meals mention it to me.  That was humbling and encouraging.  One simply said welcome into the new role in the community and another came by as I was eating a meal and said something to the effect of "we can call you pastor now".  Even though I am not quite to the ordained place yet, I am at a place (Certified Candidate) where I can be an Assistant Spiritual Director in the community.  I applied and my application was accepted.  I may not be asked for a while, but that's okay.  God will work it out for when I am to work a walk as an Assistant Spiritual Director (ASD).  I actually felt inside me that last April was my last laity walk.  God was preparing me.  But there was one more.  Why exactly?!?!  I don't know.  Was there one particular reason I was up there this weekend?!?!  I don't know.  I know that I was humbled, blessed, filled, emptied out, filled again, etc.  I know I was where I was supposed to be.  And, now.... I transition to a new place in the community.  I'm out of the chrysalis.  But my wings aren't quite dry yet.  I plan to be still and wait.... let them dry.  I will know when it's time to fly. 

What transitions are there along your journey?  How are you living into them?  Don't forget to allow your wings to dry. 

Be still and know that God will prompt you when it is time to fly.

Blessings on your journey,

Debra