Have you ever learned something the wrong way and had to forget how you learned it in the first place so you could learn it correctly?
I have, over and over again.
One area in which I try to be very careful with that is my TaeKwonDo form. Now that Ho-Am TaeKwonDo has gone to a new form, I have been struggling to learn it. I want to learn the stances correctly as well as the movements. I know that if I learn it incorrectly, I will spend more time trying to unlearn it so I can re-learn it.
Another area I find this to re-occur is in my faith journey. Just this morning as I picked up Cynthia Bourgeault's Centering Prayer and Inner Awakening and started reading Chapter 3, I had an "uh-oh" moment. I immediately recognized that I have not been doing Centering prayer 100% correctly. Though I have been doing it somewhat correctly, I have been combining other meditative practices into it. OOPS! I should have accepted that cheat sheet yesterday from the group leader!
Here is what I learned this morning in my reading from Chapter 3:
There are 3 main groups of meditative practices: those that are concentration based, awareness based and surrender based. Centering prayer is the latter of the three. (20)
The surrender method is supposedly simpler in that when thoughts come into your consciousness, you let it go.
Bourgeault writes: "Later in this book we'll discover some of the advantages of working with this more relaxed attention, but for now it's important to realize that if you are coming to Centering Prayer from a concentrative or awareness practice, the first step may to be unlearn most of what you know. Surrender meditation has its own distinct way of getting there." (21)
That was an "oops" moment. I guess I have kind of gathered a hodge podge from different sources and simply thought I was doing centering prayer, when I've actually been combining centering prayer with concentration prayer (using breath prayers). I have done the letting go of thoughts part, but that is only partially correct. Mantras (sayings that can be breath prayers or other repeated phrases) aren't used. Only a short phrase or even a word to release the thought and bring back oneself to complete openness to God.
Centering Prayer is all about returning to God. If we have had many thoughts and have needed to let them go, then we have had many opportunities to return to God. That is a way of strengthening the muscle of returning to God.
Bourgeault states: "A mantra belong to concentrative meditation practice, and within the context of a surrender practice such as centering prayer it actually slows down the process." (26)
Ah.....So, I have much to unlearn and re-learn. And, that is okay. I don't consider yesterday a lost experience. Even though I may have done it with the grid and perspective of a combined experience, whatever happened deep inside still happened. I did practice letting go of thoughts that came to mind, but can practice that more.
I'm only glad to be learning on the front side of this that I have to unlearn and re-learn rather than years down the road. ☺ Though I have been doing that too in other areas of my faith journey. There is much more to growing in Christ than I ever imagined in my early years. The more I learn, the more I realize that there is more for me to learn. And, there are things that I am learning to re-learn.
It has meant that I need to be open to the Holy Spirit's leading, that I cannot close my heart, mind, or soul simply because it didn't or doesn't fit something I was taught or something I think. That isn't always easy, but I am learning to listen to the Helper that Christ spoke about to the disciples. And, I am attempting to follow Christ's example of the inward and outward journey.
There is much to learn. I am glad to be a life-long learner!
Blessings on your learning journey!
Debra
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