Affirmation for my Spanish Calling.... once again

Last weekend I had an incredible filling in my life.  I was tremendously blessed to attend a Tres Días in Spanish at the Apison Retreat Center.  My Spanish tank was filled to overflowing as we sang in Spanish, as I had the opportunity to read and hear Scripture in Spanish, as I met many people from around the world (Peru, Cuba, Colombia, El Salvador, Mexico, Venezuela) and spoke to them in Spanish.

If I haven't shared before, I have a heart for the Hispanic/Latino culture.  I have had that heart since high school when I began my language studies.  In college, I was able to write papers on migrant workers and thus spend time searching out folks in the fields in South Georgia for my research. On one Sunday, I noticed a bewildered family in the Piggly Wiggly parking lot across from the church I attended with my great aunt Gladys. I decided to approach them to see what they needed. They were looking for an open grocery store.  With my broken Spanish, I directed them to one (I hope!).

While in graduate school on Long Island working on my M.A. in Spanish, I volunteered with an organization that helped Hispanic folks there. I helped with translation of brochures and interpretation.

Coming back down south to TN, I would help out with Spanish VBS (Vacation Bible School) in the summer in Dayton, TN, working with Fred Bedford to teach the adult classes in Spanish.  I also attended Spanish tent revivals when they came to town and had a Spanish bible study in my home for a while.

When Brad Pritt started Esperanza del Barrio in Chattanooga, I jumped in and helped as I could.  But I wasn't able to get down to Chattanooga as much as I would like.  Esperanza del Barrio is now La Paz, which is a SUPER organization here in Chattanooga that works with the Hispanic/Latino culture to provide information and resources, as well as with the entire community to bring everyone together.  I am finally getting back to being re-integrated on a more consistent basis with La Paz.

When our little one was at Ganns Middle Valley Elementary, I would go and interpret for parents as needed.  I met some wonderful families that way. We held a gathering at a local park once for families to get information to them about resources, etc.

When Burks UMC started My Sister's House / La casa de mi hermana at St. Andrews Center, I was able to assist with any folks who spoke Spanish.  As intern for them for a class in seminary, that was a super blessing as folks came for business clothes and information as they were looking to integrate back into the working world.

And then there are mission trips to Costa Rica.  One cannot forget those.  A total of 13 trips to the country, most of them mission trips.  I haven't been back since 2012.

Ah, and the 2 year bilingual Academy for Spiritual Formation from 2011-2013.  That was a definite marker in my Spanish journey.  Having the opportunity to preach in Spanish, to listen to lectures in Spanish, to worship in Spanish, to be in a bilingual covenant group.... all of that encouraged me and helped me recognize that Spanish is part of who I'm created to be in serving and living out my calling.

That's why this past weekend was such a blessing.  To be inundated with Spanish-- the language, the worship, the people, the food, etc.  It truly filled me to overflowing.  I was (and am) blessed from the experience and opportunity.

I heard many new worship songs, but there was one song that played for a few moments the first morning that caught my attention and penetrated my heart, mind, and soul.  It was a Marcela Gándara song, «Un viaje largo» that I first came to know from Edgar Ponce, a Pastor from Costa Rica and his wife when they were stateside in 2007.  When we went back to see them in 2008, we had prepared some songs to sing for VBS (Vacation Bible School) while there.  One was the song «Un viaje largo».

«Un viaje largo»

Ha sido largo el viaje pero al fin llegué.

La luz llegó a mis ojos aunque lo dudé.

Fueron muchos valles de inseguridad los que crucé.

Fueron muchos días de tanto dudar, pero al fin llegué, llegué a entender.

Que para esta hora he llegado

Para este tiempo nací, en sus propósitos eternos yo me vi.

Para esta hora he llegado, aunque

Me ha costado creer, entre sus planes para hoy me encontré.

Y nunca imaginé que dentro de su amor.

Y dentro de sus planes me encontrara yo.

Fueron muchas veces que la timidez, me lo impidió

Fueron muchos días de tanto dudar, pero al fin llegué, y ya te amé

Ha sido largo el viaje pero al fin llegué

Here is the song with English subtitles:

This is a song that resonates deeply within me, every time I hear it.  To hear it this past weekend, even briefly, in an atmosphere in which I was surrounded by people of my heart calling, touched me to tears.  

I still don't know the 'how', 'when', 'what it is going to look like' in ministry answers. But, as I have learned over the years, the journey is not about the answers.  They will come.  The journey is about living into the questions.  It is about being present in the moment along the way.  It is about loving all those whom Creator God brings into our path, sharing with them the light and love that we have received.  It is about making our lives available to others, living for the sake of others.

As I reflected this week on the blessings of last weekend, I read this by Henri Nouwen yesterday (April 29) from Bread for the Journey:

"One of the arguments we often use for not writing is this:  "I have nothing original to say. Whatever I might say, someone else has already said it, and better than I will ever be able to."  This, however, is not a good argument for not writing.  Each human being is unique and original, and nobody has lived what we have lived.  Furthermore, what we have lived, we have lived not just for ourselves but for others as well.  Writing can be a creative and invigorating way to make our lives available to ourselves and to others.  We have to trust that our stories deserve to be told.  We may discover that the better we tell our stories the better we will want to live them." 

Writing is invigorating for me.  It's one of the spiritual disciplines that breathes life back into me.  It's also an offering of myself to the Creator and others.

What about you?  What is your unique story, your calling?  

As we continue our journey of learning and living, may we share our stories with one another, whether face to face or with words, for this is one way we can encourage one another.

Blessings on your journey, 

Debra

P.S.  Many thanks to ALL my Spanish teachers throughout my YEARS of study through high school, undergraduate, and graduate school!  If it weren't for each of you pouring into my life, I wouldn't have learned the language, gone to Spain to study abroad, pursued my M.A., etc. Mil gracias a todos ustedes.  To name them would mean that I would risk leaving someone out, but I will name the one to whom I give credit for the beginning of the journey:  Señora Carol Zimbrick from Dalton High School.  Gracias. 

Be still and know..... the bookmark that began it all

My journey to quiet and stillness began in 2007.  It began with this bookmark that I made at a United Methodist Women's (UMW) meeting in July (notice the date on the back of the bookmark).

We had gathered for a craft evening to make bookmarks, led by Judy Kroulek. I haven't really ever seen myself as a creative person, but have learned over the years that my creativity comes out in photography and other ways. 

The only instructions that I remember were that we create something meaningful. I contemplated on what Scripture for a while until this from Psalm 46:10 popped into my head. I looked it up and wrote it down. I liked the cutout tool that made butterflies and chose it for decoration. 

That summer not only began my journey into quiet and stillness,  but also seminary.  Quiet and stillness became necessary lifelines as I studied, went back into teaching, applied my studies in leadership, and sought direction in next steps (which led to more seminary, the 2 Year Academy, and pursuing ordination).

Along the way I realized that my journey of quiet and stillness had really begun back in the days of my childhood, along the creek at my dad's campground and in the many acres of the woods and pastures of the family farm.

I continue to live into this verse today. Honestly, I don't see myself growing out of the need to "be still and know". In fact, I see myself needing more quiet and stillness rather than less.  Some days I need more stillness than others and am able to make time and space for it.  Some days I push beyond what I know I should just to get through. Even on those days, however, even a brief moment of being still, of allowing my soul to catch up with my body, is a moment of rest and refreshment for which I am grateful.

This morning I spent my quiet time out on the deck, enjoying the birds singing, the cool air, and the beauty of the sky... all while enjoying a cup of coffee.  I used the Centering Prayer app too. 

Returning to my bookmark....I have often wondered what happened to it. I have looked for it before. Today I found it when I was on our FUMSDRL/HOF (Fellowship of United Methodist Spiritual Directors and Retreat Leaders/Hearts on Fire) board call. I was in our home office and casually looked to my left on a bookshelf... and there it was. Just there.  Odd, huh?!?! 

I get reminders all the time to "be still and know"... as I continue to hear the verse, see signs of it (It's all over the office at work on art and crosses), hear songs about it, etc. Today my gentle reminder came from the beginning, a bookmark that began a journey.... be still and know.

Blessings on your journey, 

Debra

My first Easter Sunday as a pastor

Last year at Easter time I remember reflecting on what it would be like this year as a pastor.  At that time I didn't yet know my appointment was to the Holston GaP Parish, a three church appointment.

What WAS Easter like for me this year in the Holston GaP Parish as a pastor?  It was a tremendous blessing and a humbling experience.

I preached at both Flintstone UMC and Simpson UMC that day.  But prior to that, I joined my co-pastor Tommy Messer at Simpson UMC for our GaP-wide sunrise service at 7:30am.  Though a tad cloudy, the rains held off and it was a beautiful morning.  The cross that had been draped in black was covered in fresh, colorful flowers.  Pastor Tommy shared a great message that morning to start us off on Easter Sunday and then we had biscuits and fruit in the fellowship hall, compliments of a Sunday School class.

Then it was on to Flintstone UMC before going back to Simpson UMC.  A few highlights-- there were 12 kids, the most we've had in a while.  It was great to see all the families come to be with their families.  Though I missed the children's message as I had already left to go to Simpson, I saw the pictures of the kids up front and it was neat to learn that there were just enough eggs in the basket to go around.

During communion, I did something that I didn't notice until I was about halfway through at the second church.  When I caught myself doing it, it struck me as odd, yet appropriate.  I had been taking the bread from the middle of the loaves.  As I thought back, I remembered the Hawaiian bread shell sitting there like an empty cavern.  As I was still in the middle of communion at Simpson, I kept doing what I was doing and set the emptied shell down when finished.  I wasn't sure if anyone else had noticed what I had done or not.  It was an unintentional action on my part, yet appropriate for Easter and the empty tomb.  Typically, I simply tear off bread.  I am not inclined to solely pull from the middle.  The Sunday after Easter, I mentioned it and there were several that had noticed it.  For me, it was an inward nudging of the Holy Spirit that blessed me unexpectedly.

Another aspect of communion also blessed me on Easter Sunday.  At Flintstone, there was a member who would be having surgery later in the week, on Thursday.  When I came to her, I prayed for her and her surgery.  I later found out that she had been anxious up until that point, but then had peace.  She was the only person I prayed for specifically at Flintstone.

At Simpson, we had a lady come that hadn't been able to be there in a while.  She requested to be served in the pew.  It was sweet that as communion was being served, three people made sure we knew to take communion to her.  We did.  I felt led to pray a special prayer for her too.  She was the only person I prayed for specifically at Simpson.

Later that Easter week, both of those ladies died unexpectedly of different causes.  It was a tremendous shock and difficult time for the families and the church families.  I wondered how to minister to two grieving congregations the following Sunday as I would be back in those exact two churches the Sunday after Easter.  I got to Flintstone a little early (as is customary for me) that morning and sat under the pavilion for some quiet time to prepare my heart, mind, and soul for the morning ahead.  That time of quiet helped me be the vessel and the shepherd I needed to be.  What I wrote that morning: "Sitting at one of the picnic tables under the pavilion this morning at Flintstone UMC. I hear cows mooing in the background, birds chirping and singing nearby. This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad. That latter part is a little more difficult when entering two grieving congregations today. Yet, as followers of the Risen Christ, may we worship even in the grief and difficult times. As a shepherd, may I know how to gently lead and be with the flock today. Amen."

God is good and faithful.  God had a message for that 2nd Easter Sunday morning.  One of the resurrected and risen Lord that continues to be with us today.  The message wasn't delivered without tears or emotion, because it had been a difficult week and I have learned (and continue to learn) that I am called to live and lead as the vessel and shepherd that I am created to be.  I have the sermon notes and might share them, but it's getting late tonight and tomorrow is another Sunday (Easter 4).  That means I need a good night's rest to prepare for worship.

Oh, I almost left out another wonderful event that happened in our Holston GaP Parish on Easter Sunday.  At Fort Oglethorpe UMC, Pastor Tommy accepted two new members into membership by transfer from Pennsylvania.  We had a very blessed Easter in the GaP and I am reminded during this Easter Season in numerous situations that Christ is risen; He is risen indeed!

Blessings on your journey,

Debra

Making space for quiet

How hard is it? To have some quiet time and space weekly, daily? I don't know about you, but I find that I have to fight for my time. I fight against agendas, unforeseen situations, and my own mind, to name a few things.

Yet, when I make it to a space that allows me some silence and solitude, it is well worth the battle. 

I typically choose something outdoors, whether by a creek, on a trail, in a hammock, or on my deck or patio. For me to be in creation adds to the connection with the Creator. Even if I am just sitting outdoors at a coffee shop feeling the spring breeze while the world goes by, as I am right now, there is a sense of connection.

Yesterday I spent a couple of hours in creation at Audubon Acres in Chattanooga.  I walked the trails and observed creation as I listened and spoke with God. There was so much beauty in that place and my soul was calmed and filled.  (To see more of my pictures from yesterday, click here.)

Today I spent 12 minutes of silence in centering prayer on the patio. Not nearly as long as yesterday's silence during my walk, yet a different time that also filled me.  At least for the time being.

Since I started my journey into silence and solitude over 5 years ago, I continue to find that I need more and more to keep me able to live well. The journey inward is crucial to the journey outward. I have learned that if I  don't make space for the silence and solitude, then I have nothing to offer from the well. Through the silence and solitude, along with other practices, I am able to be fully and freely who God created me to be.

I am grateful for the moments of silence and solitude that I can carve into the day and week.

When possible, I take time to join with others for time apart in a retreat setting for silence and prayer, whether in a Centering Prayer or a retreat setting.  Group silence as well as being around others who are in silence is a powerful experience too.  (If interested in finding a group to join for some silence, you can check out the Contemplative Outreach website and look in your geographic area for a Centering Prayer group or you might consider a 5 Day Academy sponsored by the Upper Room.  In seeking silence, you will find it.)

What about you? Do you practice silence and solitude? What works best for you?

Here are two screen shots from the Centering Prayer app that I used today.

Blessings on your journey,

Debra

"Nowhere can man find a quieter or more untroubled retreat than in his own soul."
~Marcus Aurelius