Sunday Morning Reflection from the deck

I am sitting on the deck this morning with Cliff and a cup of coffee, trying to wake up on a Sunday morning. It's 57 degrees Fahrenheit out here and feels great. There are birds chirping and singing. There is a slight breeze. Leaves are on the table, the deck, and the yard. The fallen leaves are beautiful, as are the ones still hanging on for a little while longer in the trees.

There is a deck being built or re-built a few doors down and they are busy at work this morning with electric tools. That takes away from the nature sounds, but I can somewhat tune them out. 

There are some clouds in the sky this morning, a thin white cover over the blue background.

Every now and then I hear an acorn drop to the ground with a thud. I give thanks that I am not underneath that tree. :)

I look around me and see yellow, red, orange, brown, green and a mixture of stages in between.

As I contemplate the leaves this morning, I wonder what things in my life it's time to "drop off" or "let go". One of the quotes that were read at Bamboo Encounter yesterday was this one from Marilyn Wolf:

“When Autumn comes and the leaf starts to die, it is trying to let go of the branch. The tree doesn’t have to push it away, tear it off, or even nudge it. The leaf will let go and fall away when it’s time. It knows that it no longer serves the tree as a source of light and beauty and simply lets go.”

I found it on her blog here: "Autumn: A Time For Allowing". I encourage you to take a moment to go read the entire reading. It's short, yet powerful.

As I reflect on her quote this morning, it is good to note that the tree doesn't push the leaf away.  "The leaf will let go and fall away when it's time." Wow. That bears repeating: "The leaf will let go and fall away when it's time." Is that how it works with things in our life that no longer serve as a source of light and beauty? Do they simply let go? Or do we need to do a harder work to let them go? The answer might be a both/and. I don't know. I've not really considered this "new" way of letting go before. It seems to me that tree is simply "being" a tree. It is being its true self. And in being that true self, things are happening naturally, as they should. The tree allows the process to take place.

That brings up questions for me: am I being my true self? Am I allowing things to happen naturally? Am I allowing the process to take place?

These are questions that will take time to ponder. I will hold them with wonder and curiosity.

Meanwhile, I listen to the birds chirp and sing. I observe the beauty of the leaves, fallen and on the trees.

I breathe in and out on this cool morning.

I give thanks to the Creator for the beauty.

Peace on this day, 

Rev. Deb

Hardee's--- a Tuesday morning ritual

For over two years, Tuesday mornings meant driving Dad to Hardee's to get his breakfast before heading into the office. I would pack my car up and we would go to Hardee's and then to the office.. Sometimes we would stop by the Post Office if we hadn't checked the mail recently. 

Dad typically ordered the same thing: one of those biscuits with a fried egg and either bacon or sausage. He would sometimes order a senior coffee until we figured out it was cheaper to not do it that way and just get the combo. :) Hash rounds were part of the order and sometimes he would get a large becaI tended to take a few of them. 

When Dad passed, I knew Tuesday mornings would not be the same. I wanted to go by though and thank the window employee the years of service. That may sound odd, but she was part of our Tuesday routine.

Right after Dad passed, I was able to go by dialysis and drop off a thank you. But for some reason, I couldn't bring myself to go to Hardee's. 

I drank my coffee on the deck or the outside table. I would go to the Post Office on the way to the office. But I couldn't get myself to Hardee's. 

Last night Mom cooked some bacon. I thought that would be great on a plain biscuit.

I drank coffee on the deck and packed the car. 

For the first time since Dad passed, I  didn't turn left out of the driveway to go to work. I headed out to the main road to go to Hardee's. 

It was all good until I saw the woman in the drive through. I was glad she was there. But I was nervous.  Would she think I was crazy?

When she handed me my change, I told her that I had been driving my visually impaired Dad to Hardee's for a little over two years and that I wanted to thank her for her kindness and service. I told her Dad passed in April. I wasn't able to say all that without tearing up. She responded by saying she was sorry, that she understood what that was like, and that she remembered me and Dad.

As I drove away, tears streamed down my face.

As I write this now, tears come.

As I drove away and headed to the Post Office, the song "Spirit in the Sky" by Norman Greenbaum came on the radio. I associate that song with the movie "Michael" with John Travolta. I enjoy the music and the lyrics. 

Lyrics: 

"When I die and they lay me to rest
Gonna go to the place that's the best
When I lay me down to die
Goin' up to the spirit in the sky

Goin' up to the spirit in the sky (spirit in the sky)
That's where I'm gonna go when I die (when I die)
When I die and they lay me to rest
I'm gonna go to the place that's the best

Prepare yourself you know it's a must
Gotta have a friend in Jesus
So you know that when you die
He's gonna recommend you
To the spirit in the sky (spirit in the sky)

Oh he'll recommend you to the spirit in the sky
That's where you're gonna go when you die (when you die)
When you die and they lay you to rest
You're gonna go to the place that's the best

Never been a sinner, I never sinned
I got a friend in Jesus
So you know that when I die
He's gonna set me up
with the spirit in the sky

Oh set me up with the spirit in the sky (spirit in the sky)
That's where I'm gonna go when I die (when I die)
When I die and they lay me to rest
I'm gonna go to the place that's the best
Go to the place that's the best"

I looked over at the passenger seat at the Hardee's bag where Dad would be. My change was in the seat with the Hardee's bag. Dad always gave me the coins from the change, but would put away any paper money in his wallet. He amazingly kept things in order. He knew where things were. He impressed me with what all he could do with his impaired vision.

Grief is an odd thing. 

I am glad to have gone by Hardee's today to share my gratitude. 

I am grateful for the memories of such a special ritual and privilege. 

I am grateful for today's opportunity to remember Dad and to show my gratitude to someone who was a weekly part of our lives. 

Peace on the journey,

Deb

Reflections from the 4 Day Academy

Going into the 4 Day Academy I shared my thoughts, some reflections, some photos from the worship space, and what I anticipated for the week. You can find that post here: 4 Day Academy at Camp Sumatanga.

Before the Academy officially began, I spent time in nature/creation playing at the playground and on rocks, walking around under the tree canopy and exploring. I wrote about that experience here: Rocks, Trees, and Mushrooms! Exploring Around Camp Sumatanga

What I haven't written about it my experience, what I learned, how I connected with God, etc. Truthfully, I'm not sure I can. I'm still processing it all. I did take notes. I even took notes during worship time of the songs we sang, the Psalms and Psalm Prayers that were referenced, Scripture shared, etc. I thought I might go back to my personal copy of the Upperroom Worship Book and look some of those up. And I still might. 

In the past I've been able to write more easily about an Academy experience. I've been able to process it more fully or more quickly.... or something.

This time, I don't know. Maybe it's the theme: "Welcoming the Wilderness". Maybe it's deeply embedded within me this time and I don't need to rush it out. Maybe it needs time to incubate, to grow, to put down roots within me. I am not fully sure.

I do know that I am glad I took the time, made the time for this time apart. It was a gift to and for me, to focus on God, creation, and to spend time in the rhythm of the Academy so that I could more effectively listen to the Creator. 

My soul was refreshed. I know that. Through the rhythms, the worship, the conversations, the silence, the solitude, the sharing from the faculty, and the sharing within community. Add to that the bountiful beauty of God's creation.

I heard names of authors I knew and learned new ones. 

To trust that all these things are working within me is just that-- TRUST. It is not anything I can see.

However, I know that I opened the space, that I listened, that I put in the time. Therefore, I know that there are seeds planted, there are roots growing deeper, there is healing and growth. Even if I don't see it or feel it. I can trust.

I am grateful for the team and our faculty (Larry Peacock and Dale Clem). I am grateful for all the people I met. Most of them were from Alabama, but some were from Tennessee, Georgia, Ohio and Illinois. 

One of the authors that came up was Chardin and his writing "Trust in the slow work of God". That took me back to my Spiritual Direction coursework and how impactful that was for me then. I remember creating an hour glass prayer with the phrase "trust in the slow work of God". I can't find where I wrote about that specifically, but I think it went something like this:

trust in the slow work of God
trust in the slow work
trust in the slow
trust
trust
trust in the slow
trust in the slow work
trust in the slow work of God

By taking each phrase and allowing it to be aligned with one's breath, it becomes a type of breath prayer. It allows an intentional focus. The post where I wrote about Chardin was "Healing Takes Time".

It's going to take some time to process my 4 Day Academy. 

One thing I can share here and now is the daily focus.

Here are the words of the day:

Gifts

Stillness

Healing (me in the mirror)

Healing (me not in the mirror)

Hope

These words are "spot on" for my life, just as was so much else. The wilderness is home for me. Not just because I have had so many wilderness experiences in my life, but because it is also the place where I know and experience God best. That's why I am drawn to outdoor worship, to hike, to be outside on the deck, to be in a hammock, to walk, to bike, etc. 

There is much for me to process, though I wonder if it is meant to work beneath the surface, so to speak. I don't know. I do know that the Academy time was and is part of my growth and healing, part of my learning and calling.

I am glad I was able to attend.

I am also glad I was able to hike up to Creel Chapel on Wednesday, October 9th. That was super meaningful to me and special as that was my 60th birthday. Though it (turning 60) has been a quiet time of celebration this year for me, it has not been without contemplation. 

My goal is to live in the moment, in the here and now. As Thomas Merton has taught me for many years: "I do not [have to] know where I am going." Would you believe that Merton came up during the week too?!?! Merton has been my companion through my commissioning, my ordination, and to this day. :)

Thomas Merton Prayer of Unknowing:

dfdd

Roaring Creek Trailhead on the Cumberland Trail-- nature time!

by the road

next to the parking lot

trailhead

beginning of trail

Today Riley and I headed up to Graysville, TN to hike part of the Roaring Creek Trailhead. It is a 30 minute drive from our house, which isn't too bad. It is part of the Cumberland Trail and we've been working on hiking the CT segments over the past several years.

The parking lot for the trailhead was easy to find, as I had read about in Pam Greer's blogpost.

We did not go all the way to Cranmore Cove Overlook. We learned from one of the trail runners later that we were close to it. It's about 3/4 of a mile from the waterfall / creek crossing. We had gone a ways into the pine forest area, but turned back. We were probably a 1/4 mile from it. Next time!  In fact, I think we will start at the Dogwood West / Gilbreath Creek CT Access Trail next time and hike to Cranmore Cove Overlook. This trail is also known as the Graysville Mountain Trail and is near Highway 30 in Dayton. One hiker (Craig) mentioned that the trailhead parking is on Bluff View Road.

Now that we know where we want to go next, what about our hike today?

The parking was spacious. There was only one car when we got there in the morning. There were three when we left and one pulled in as we were leaving.

True to what we had read about it, the trail went along Roaring Creek for quite a bit until it forked to the right. However, there was no "roar" today. We did find some sections of trickling water and pooled up water. 

When we forked to the right, we went along another creek bed for a while before coming to the sign that pointed up the mountain. 

We headed up. When we got the sign that said "Hell's Kitchen" to the left, we went to the right. Evidently, it's a bouldering area. 

True to what we had read, the switchbacks made it tolerable. There were downed trees along the way. They were passable.                 

The rocky sections were not too bad, though I was careful to watch my feet. There were places on the beginning of the path that had rocks on them too, underneath leaves. That required paying attention. That's okay. Hiking for me is about attentiveness and mindfulness, so it worked out well.

The rock walls along the side of the mountain were gorgeous.

We came to one spot that looked like a two car garage. We checked it out more closely.

We continued our hike up and up.

When we crested the top, we saw some overlooks, but kept going. 

When we crossed over the dry creek bed of where the waterfall would be, we kept going.

waterfall when there is water

looking up the dry creek bed from where the water would fall

The pine forest with dense pine straw was a neat area to hike. 

At about 2 miles we decided to turn back and have lunch at an overlook. We chose the dry waterfall creek bed until yellow jackets decided to chase us away. Near that spot are some cool rocks to explore. I played around for a little bit before we headed to our 2nd lunch location-- an overlook. At first you couldn't see a trail. I bush wacked my way. Riley found an older trail. Yellow jackets found us there too, but not as many of them. 

We stopped at the final overlook before heading back down the trail on the switchbacks.

We only saw 3 other people on the trail today-- 2 runners and 1 other hiker.

It was quiet. It was peaceful. It was beautiful.

Seeing the evidence of coal and coal mining was cool too. A bit of history.

Being under tree canopy for the majority of the hike made it a great hike too. It never got too hot. Of course, the weather was cooler today as well. We started off in the mid 40s and I think it was about 70 degrees Fahrenheit when we finished.

My Run Keeper app kept starting and stopping. One time it just kinda jammed up. I don't think I got an accurate mileage. It clocked 4.08 miles, but I think we did more like 4 1/2 or closer to 5 miles. We hiked a total of 3 hours.  It's not 100% about keeping statistics. It's about getting into nature and allowing nature to get into me. But, I do like to keep up with my exercise. :)

Being in nature was good today! I only saw one mushroom on the trail, but the rocks, trees, breezes, and water made up for the lack of 'shrooms. My soul was refreshed by being in nature and I'm glad we were able to take this new-to-us hike today.

Thanks for sharing this hike with me! 

Deb

PHOTOS ARE MINE 

OTHER LINKS FOR CUMBERLAND TRAIL:

• Graysville Mountain RMA Section
• MAP (this map and the map at the kiosk say no southern trail is completed, but there is a sign shortly into the Roaring Creek Trail that says "Cumberland Trail South".