"If we are honest, I think we have to admit that we will likely try to sabotage any movement toward true freedom. If we really knew what we were called to relinquish on this journey, our defenses would never allow us to take the first step. Sometimes the only way we can enter the deeper dimensions of the journey is by being unable to see where we're going." -Gerry May, The Dark Night of the Soul
This is a quote to read and re-read, to reflect upon, to allow into one's heart, mind, and soul. It definitely resonates with me. On several levels.
Freedom. Just thinking about that word allows joy to flood my soul. Thinking about "movement toward true freedom" causes me to think of the spiritual growth journey. Just as we may sabotage our weightloss efforts or our healing in other areas, I can see that we might sabotage our spiritual freedom and growth as well. Am I brave enough to ask the Father this question? 'What are the things I do that sabotage my own freedom?'
Things to relinquish on the journey. Nope. Don't want to know. LA LA LA (said with fingers in the ears). I am definitely one of those who doesn't care to know in advance those things I'll be called to relinquish on the journey. I've been through several times of stripping away and have had to make decisions about relinquishing those things into God's hands. I grew through the experience last year and I'm growing now. However, it's tough enough going through a time. I sure don't want to learn in advance the things I'll be asked to relinquish. As it is, I feel like I'm relinquishing things that God had asked me to take on. So, it's a little confusing. Yet, I know to keep trusting.
Entering the deeper dimensions. Whew! The deep, yet dark unknown. Deep. Deeper and deeper. I don't feel equipped often to go deeper, yet I continue to walk in trust and obedience. And, I fall. I get scrapes and bruises 'cause I mess things up. Yet, I trust. It is okay for me to not see where I'm going. I honestly think I'd run like the wind in the opposite direction. Which would be quite interesting to see because I've not run much since high school track.
Tonight's clouds are a picture of this for me. The light is shining through the darkness of the clouds. I may not understand. I may not be able to do all that I think I should or could because of anemia once again. I hear the call to take this and that off my plate and I am obeying. I really do not understand this relinquishing or stripping away. But, I don't have to understand. I am called to trust and obey.
May the light shine through as you walk your journey. May you trust and obey even though you may not fully see nor understand.
Blessings on your faith journey,
~Debra
No comments:
Post a Comment